Gentlemen: on being approached (and complimented) by a lady


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  April 28,2011, 3:17pm
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Hey guys!

So, recently I broke things off with the guy I'd been seeing for about 8 months. Long story short, we just sort of fizzled out and there seemed to be no point, so we have stopped seeing each other but (and this will be no surprise to those of you who've been around here a while and therefore know me) we're still good friends.

Since becoming a free agent again, I've had a bad case of RES (roving eye syndrome) and have seen many a cute guy cross my path of late. Some so cute that I've had to fight hard to resist the urge to walk up to them and say something like:

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're gorgeous."

and walk away.

And so I ask the good men of eHarmony Advice:

If a woman walked up to you and said such a thing, how would you feel?

How would you react (outwardly)? Would your reaction be different based on whether or not you thought she was also attractive? If so, how so?

Looking forward to hearing what the guys have to say on this topic!
 
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Pppaul01 is offline Pppaul01 Post #2  April 28,2011, 3:24pm
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1 - I'd be flattered, and verbally say so
2 - Possibly yes...
3 - if I was attracted I'd probably end up stunned and not able to say much . Otherwise no diff.

IDEALLY I would hope I'd be able to offer a business card or something or ask for contact info. But realistically I probably would end up a deer in the headlights.

EDIT: PS this has only happened to me once in my life that I can remember and it was when I was in my mid-20's.
Last edited by Pppaul01; April 28,2011 at 3:44pm. Reason: More info
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #3  April 28,2011, 3:24pm
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Well...not being a guy...but I can guarantee that you will get a resounding YESSS...PLEASE do this!!!....No matter if the man is single..or happens to be in a relationship...they will appreciate the compliment...

And if they are single...what a great way to meet!!!..

I have approached men over the years...more so have mentioned something in regards to the dog they are walking...the motorcycle...something in their basket at the grocery store...etc....don't think I have said something based just on their looks...but can't think of a guy who wouldn't be flattered by it!!!

Good for you for getting back out there!!..
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 28,2011, 3:42pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
Since becoming a free agent again, I've had a bad case of RES (roving eye syndrome) and have seen many a cute guy cross my path of late. Some so cute that I've had to fight hard to resist the urge to walk up to them and say something like:

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're gorgeous."

and walk away.

And so I ask the good men of eHarmony Advice:

If a woman walked up to you and said such a thing, how would you feel?
This sort of thing does not happen to me so I would be suspicious as to why some lady had walked up to me and said anything to me.

How would you react (outwardly)? I would be shocked and tongue tied. Would your reaction be different based on whether or not you thought she was also attractive? If she was stunningly beautiful I may be even more tongue tied if that is possible. If so, how so?

Looking forward to hearing what the guys have to say on this topic!
Comments above.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #5  April 28,2011, 4:03pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're gorgeous."

and walk away.
firstly I'm pleased you are moving on from that relationship which wasn't going anywhere.


Please don't take offence but ...

I'd think you're playing a game because you walked away.


Just say "hi, nice shirt" or "hi, nice weather" or anything but not "you're gorgeous"!!!! that would suggest you are wanting to pick me up for a one night stand! exactly the wrong signal!!!
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #6  April 28,2011, 4:05pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
If a woman walked up to you and said such a thing, how would you feel?
Well, someone this week walked upto me at a party and told me I was the most handsome guy in the room.

wrote :
How would you react (outwardly)? Would your reaction be different based on whether or not you thought she was also attractive? If so, how so?
Since she looked 15 years older than me I considered it an emty compliment--a conversation starter. If I thought she was actually into me I would've considered it creepy.

If someone in my age range told me "I think you're gorgeous" I'd be flattered. If they were also attractive it'd make my day. I may be tongue-tied but if she didn't walk too quickly I imagine I'd recover in time to compliment her back and start a conversation.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #7  April 28,2011, 4:08pm
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
"you're gorgeous"!!!! that would suggest you are wanting to pick me up for a one night stand! exactly the wrong signal!!!
I'm not after a one-night stand, but are you saying you wouldn't even be tempted to catch-up to her and say hello?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  April 28,2011, 4:16pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're gorgeous."

and walk away.

If a woman walked up to you and said such a thing, how would you feel?

In a club, where there is drinking and music, I'd be feeling Okay, this person had a glass of liquid courage, and now wants to see if I have something worthwhile to say.

In someplace other than a club, I think I'd be wondering what is she trying to sell?

(In either case, warking away isn't a great idea - I'm not likely to go follow someone like a little puppy.)


eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
How would you react (outwardly)? Would your reaction be different based on whether or not you thought she was also attractive? If so, how so?

Well, I hope I come with a response that doesn't sound stupid!

I like - almost no matter what the situation - to ask a woman her name. This is always acceptable, and it gets the first question and answer done.

Then I typically try to pin down her role in the area (she is in that place because she works in the area, is a student, is on vacation ...?)

That leads me to next find out what her work and location of living are.

At that point, a conversation is underway.

***

The above are not especially based on appearance (I do not like to react visibly to people based on appearance - doing that can kill a guy in a club.)

Ultimately, whether I try to take the situation to a private meeting is going to be based on attraction, of course.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #9  April 28,2011, 4:18pm
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I would be flattered no matter what she looked like. If I considered her attractive I might blush a little, and hope I did not say anything stupid.

I might also look around the for Candid Camera camera, or the Punked crew.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  April 28,2011, 4:32pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
I'm not after a one-night stand, but are you saying you wouldn't even be tempted to catch-up to her and say hello?
probably not because the statement sounds immature and possibly someone with mental health issues!
 
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