GUYS: What is a Normal Pace?


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violet76 is offline violet76 Post #1  April 26,2011, 2:18pm
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I have been out of the dating scene for a pretty long time and after taking some time off after my last relationship I'm getting back into the swing of things. Just curious to see what an average relationship pace is these days? I've always belonged to the school of thought that if a guy really likes you that he will be excited about you and want to see you often and things for me have always moved pretty quickly into a relationship. Have things changed? Do people move slower these days or is it still the same? (I'm 34 years old - in case my first sentence makes me sound 50! lol)

Just curious!
 
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richey is offline richey Post #2  April 26,2011, 2:31pm
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I have to admit, when I first saw this post I was tempted to recommend listening to Adam Sandler's song "At A Medium Pace" lol.

Okay.. dating "pace" this day in age. I think, quite honestly, we're seeing a very interesting phenomena in society today. It seems like there are 2 divergent movements deveoping/growing and people seem to be gravitating towards either side.

1. The "abstinence" movement
2. The "add" movement (aka "general shorter attention span" movement).

I thnk there are more and more people becoming more and more open to faster-paced relationships in which intimacy happens sooner than it used to (even first date intimacy), and I also think you are seeing a growing abstiencne movement in rebellion to the "short attentino span" growing in society.

Not to say that everybody is either hitting the sack first night or waiting til marriage..

But in the end.. it's really going to be a case-by-case basis as everbody has the pace their comfy with or are trying to stick to. So expect pace to be across the board and that there is no "normal" or typical.

Richey
 
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savman is offline savman Post #3  April 26,2011, 2:35pm
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It seems to be pretty darn all over the place.
 
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lobstermilkshake is offline lobstermilkshake Post #4  April 26,2011, 2:39pm
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I am a young, 25 year old man of the philosophy that patience is a waste of time. I prefer fast and rapid quivering on a multi-tiered scale.

It's the ABC of my dating

A: first date
B: sex
C: committed relationship

The faster I can get to C the better. And NO I am not shallow. Sex is not the end-goal. It's the entire package that counts.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #5  April 26,2011, 2:44pm
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The main thing that seems to have changed, with the advent of online dating, is that people can now reject you for things totally unrelated to your potential for a LTR (with them) without even having to meet you. At least it saves time! lol

Just sayin'...
 
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AudioDad is offline AudioDad Post #6  April 26,2011, 2:49pm
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It's really an individual comfort level kind of thing. I prefer to take things slowly but I've always been that way. IMO, people don't take enough time to get to really know one another which is one of the main reasons relationships have become 'disposable' to a point.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #7  April 26,2011, 2:53pm
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lobster> "The faster I can get to C the better."

In my experience, getting to B too quickly doesn't lead to C.
 
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lobstermilkshake is offline lobstermilkshake Post #8  April 26,2011, 2:59pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
lobster> "The faster I can get to C the better."

In my experience, getting to B too quickly doesn't lead to C.
Considering C should be a special event I'd say that's okay as long as I get some B down the road you know what I am saying?
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #9  April 26,2011, 3:04pm
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lobstermilkshake wrote :
I am a young, 25 year old man of the philosophy that patience is a waste of time. I prefer fast and rapid quivering on a multi-tiered scale.

It's the ABC of my dating

A: first date
B: sex
C: committed relationship

The faster I can get to C the better. And NO I am not shallow. Sex is not the end-goal. It's the entire package that counts.
Um...in your other post you said you were married for 10 years....?
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #10  April 26,2011, 3:04pm
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I don't think this is a concept that lends itself well to "normal". You have to set your own pace, which will hopefully not be too divergent from the expectations of your partner. Whoever is the more reticent ends up calling the pace, understanding that too much reticence can lead to the loss of the relationship. Also understanding that if you are being pushed too hard, that's probably not the person you want to be in a relatonship with.
 
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