So men give their phone numbers


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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #31  April 26,2011, 6:27pm
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Guys give you their number out of respect for your privacy. If they ask for your number it can come of as stalkerish to some women so they give her their number and leave it up to her to give him hers. If you dont want to call first but are interested then just email/text him back your number and then he will call.

My preference is to talk on the pohone rather than text or email because you are having a close to real conversation and its a better judge of feeling and intent in voice.
 
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deluxe is offline deluxe Post #32  April 26,2011, 8:15pm
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Let's liken this to real life meeting/dating. A phone call is similar to having the conversation you would normally have if you met IRL. I try to take online into real life asap when I feel comfortable enough. My eyes are on the prize which is a great relationship. I'm not going to quibble about who calls who especially when someone makes the first move to take it out of the net by giving his number.

Why pay for a slot on a dating site if you're not interested in actually dating? And for women to make assumptions on how it's a test on his part to see how desperate we are (?) or he's too lazy to do 'the work' is quite frankly the thoughts of a powerless woman. How could you be on a dating site which requires you to sift through strangers if you can't trust your judgment about people? Play smart but don't play games. To place so much importance on the first few hurdles in getting to know someone does not help you to evaluate a relationship's potential. However, your willingness to reciprocate (using discrimination) will put you in the right mindset. You are 1/2 of the equation. I think sometimes we lose site of that and prefer to focus on preconceived notions & sabotage a match with tests. A player will pursue and pay for dates, take you shopping, buy flowers & gifts. Is that what you want? He knows how to get a woman who judges a man superficially. Doesn't anyone want to go deeper? Get past the small talk into something real or is it all power plays? In my view people who do this aren't serious about wanting a relationship, they're just looking for an ego boost.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #33  April 27,2011, 10:38am
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I wil say this is always a bit awkward.

The BEST way I saw of dealing with this is a man on eh who said "For safety sake, here is my number. If you prefer that I call you, let me know."
Last edited by KikiAZ; April 27,2011 at 10:39am. Reason: clarification
 
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psgcooldog is online now psgcooldog Post #34  April 27,2011, 6:52pm
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deluxe wrote :
Let's liken this to real life meeting/dating. A phone call is similar to having the conversation you would normally have if you met IRL. I try to take online into real life asap when I feel comfortable enough. My eyes are on the prize which is a great relationship. I'm not going to quibble about who calls who especially when someone makes the first move to take it out of the net by giving his number.

Why pay for a slot on a dating site if you're not interested in actually dating? And for women to make assumptions on how it's a test on his part to see how desperate we are (?) or he's too lazy to do 'the work' is quite frankly the thoughts of a powerless woman. How could you be on a dating site which requires you to sift through strangers if you can't trust your judgment about people? Play smart but don't play games. To place so much importance on the first few hurdles in getting to know someone does not help you to evaluate a relationship's potential. However, your willingness to reciprocate (using discrimination) will put you in the right mindset. You are 1/2 of the equation. I think sometimes we lose site of that and prefer to focus on preconceived notions & sabotage a match with tests. A player will pursue and pay for dates, take you shopping, buy flowers & gifts. Is that what you want? He knows how to get a woman who judges a man superficially. Doesn't anyone want to go deeper? Get past the small talk into something real or is it all power plays? In my view people who do this aren't serious about wanting a relationship, they're just looking for an ego boost.
Just WOW!

Forty-seven sanity points awarded to "Deluxe"
 
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andro444 is offline andro444 Post #35  April 27,2011, 7:50pm
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psgcooldog wrote :
Just WOW!

Forty-seven sanity points awarded to "Deluxe"
I agree, well put, makes sense and makes me think about my intentions and dating. BRAVO!

Thank you all for your inputs! I am learning a lot from your comments
 
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Blue_Collar_Guy is offline Blue_Collar_Guy Post #36  April 30,2011, 2:41am
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I only give my phone number when the lady specifically expresses a desire to talk over the phone. Most of the time though, I try to cut to the chase and meet in person as soon as possible. Too much is lost with typed communication or even phone conversations, there's no body language in either case.

wrote :
Why pay for a slot on a dating site if you're not interested in actually dating?
I've often wondered why many women do that.
Last edited by Blue_Collar_Guy; April 30,2011 at 2:51am.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #37  April 30,2011, 3:01am
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Blue_Collar_Guy wrote :
...
I've often wondered why many women do that.
because a lot of people who sign up to sites treat it like an insurance policy/backup plan. they are having problems with their b/f, g/f, husband, wife etc are aren't completely out of their last relationship so go to a dating site for the wrong reasons. the attention they get is sometimes enough.
 
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mintbrowneyes is offline mintbrowneyes Post #38  May 4,2011, 8:49pm
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andro444 wrote :
I agree, well put, makes sense and makes me think about my intentions and dating. BRAVO!

Thank you all for your inputs! I am learning a lot from your comments
The problem I have is men giving out their numbers too soon! They are not even engaged in the conversation or seem that interesting to me thus far just say their name and give a phone #. The pursuer (man or woman) should be asking what is the best way to continue the conversation on the phone, just like anything else. If you start thinking like this, then when he invites you over to his house for a weekend and has never spent time with you personally it's because he is looking out for you or him? In today's time you just can't assume that someone is doing something for you in the initial stages of dating, but more likely doing things for themselves. It's not flattering, which is why you are perfectly fine having these questions about it. It's the most unnatural gesture a person could do without disclosing any information on their part and intentions.
 
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LoveComes1st is offline LoveComes1st Post #39  May 5,2011, 9:51am
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If I'm interested in a guy and he seems legit to me then I will give him my number in return and say something so he knows I prefer he call me.

Then I plug his number into my phone so I can differentiate him from other calls.

Occasionally I'll just text him hello when he first gives me his number to give him my number.
 
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pltkcelestial18 is offline pltkcelestial18 Post #40  May 5,2011, 10:09am
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andro444 wrote :
in their emails. What are we supposed to do with them? Why men give their phone numbers? I don't like calling guys especially during the first few contacts....

When I first read this a few guys came to mind. They had either messaged me with a very short message including their name and number or we'd only exchanged one or two messages and it was really short messages and then got a phone number.

That's what I thought this person was talking about.

If it's someone I've been communicating with and we've had some good messages back and forth and/or we've done the instant messaging thing (either through the website or other means) and I was interested and they offer me their number then I'd probably call.

But if it's a guy I've had little to no communication with then I probably wouldn't respond. To me that would be the same as some random guy off the street coming up to me and giving me their number.
 
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