Why don't guys say "Thank You" after a date?


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busybusy is offline busybusy Post #91  May 24,2011, 10:11pm
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What an interesting topic! I only recently started dating again, and I had to really think about the last couple of dates to determine how I ended them.....I realized that (unconsciously) I had thanked my dates specifically for dinner (if they had paid) but otherwise left it at "I really enjoyed spending time with you" or some such. I guess I hadn't really thought about it, but I would feel a little awkward thanking someone for their time, when (as previous posters noted) it was a mutual advantage to meet.

What I DID do, which only struck me as perhaps strange after the fact, was text my dinner date when I arrived home. Not sure if it is the mother in me (LOL) but I automatically assumed he would want to know that I arrived safely.....I should note that we both drove about 45 minutes to meet. As it happens, he texted that he was glad I did and had wanted to ask but didn't want to be too forward (?!)

I think I am less concerned about the words that are used and more about the sincerity of what is said. I appreciate knowing that my date (at the very least) wasn't bored under the table spending some time with me as I try hard to be an entertaining companion.

Is it just me, or are there a lot of Texans on this board??
 
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orangesoul is offline orangesoul Post #92  July 17,2011, 8:56pm
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I think it's sufficient to say thank you adn "it was great meeting you", if indeed it was before parting on the first date....sometimes the guy will let you know right away that he wants to see you again, you give him your phone # right there, if he doesn't have it already, or if I tell him I'll email him my number, that way it gives us both time & space to think about it further and relives the pressure for both as well...I usually then wait to see if the guy contacts me again afterward...If he's super interested he will contact you after the meeting to let you again know that he enjoyed himself and maybe compliment you or something and then you can say thank you for that.
The 2nd date might be the last date, but saying thank you before parting is a given but it's enough...if he asks if you want to do it again either in person or via text or email afterwards, you should take this as your opportunity to say yes or no. Saying thank you does not mean you are agreeing to an exclusive relationship...you are still just getting to know the person. It's just good manners.
Wow, and there are other threads going on asking
if a guy should call the next day after sex....wonder if saying thankyou after a date is more important than calling after sex to some people??? hahaha
 
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cybertwinkie is offline cybertwinkie Post #93  July 17,2011, 9:14pm
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Xable wrote :
As an offshoot from another thread. Women often text after a date expressing gratitude for the date, that they had a good time, and maybe even suggesting that they do it again. This is a tactic to let the guy know she is interested in going on a second date and opening the door (green light) for the guy to ask/accept a second date if he is so inclined.

I just realized that I send a thank you/ had a good time note regardless of who paid for the date - whether is was free, dutch, split, his treat or my treat. I realized that never once have I had a guy tell me thank you or say they had a good time on the date.

Why is it a kind of defacto that a woman should express gratitude to show her interest and yet the same is not required of a man?

Surprisingly, it doesn't really bother me, but I just realized this is a bit of a double standard.
I can honestly say that I can't think of a single date that hasn't thanked me for a lovely time at the end of the date regardless of who paid. But now that you've mentioned it, I am going to make it a point to thank all of my dates (including dates with friends) because you're absolutely right - it's a nice gesture and it feels good to be appreciated for your time.
 
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orangesoul is offline orangesoul Post #94  July 17,2011, 9:18pm
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My first meet date just emailed me a thank you and a sweet compliment.....and so I thanked him back for the compliment.
 
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boohowc is offline boohowc Post #95  July 17,2011, 9:32pm
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This isn't a double standard at all. If anything...I don't think your experience is the norm.

Even if they aren't interested in going on another date most people will at least end the night with something like "it was nice meeting you" and leave it at that.
 
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walkonwaterjoseph is offline walkonwaterjoseph Post #96  October 8,2011, 1:11pm
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Last edited by walkonwaterjoseph; October 16,2011 at 4:03pm.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #97  October 12,2011, 7:31pm
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i say thank you all the time.
You must be picking and choosing the wrong fellas

Richey
 
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