Go grease lightning? Getting inside his head...


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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #21  April 7,2011, 3:30pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I would love to find a girl that would hang out with me and show some interest while I was fixing a car or whatever I was fixing. Even I would be able to think that she was interested in being with me.

Above
this actually *is* a great way to bond with a guy if you can do it without talking too much. sit and watch. smile. ask a few questions about what he is doing but not making it this big thing to try to "get to know" him in the process.

i just dont think i would have done it while sick
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #22  April 7,2011, 3:37pm
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TheThinker wrote :
I'm not really big on the whole "office romance" thing...

In each workplace I have been in, there were a number of couples. No bad experience ever happened that I saw or became aware of. For mature people capable of healthy relationships, with goals consistent with the values of typical executives (marriage, in the employers I have had), I think it's fine.

In any case, many of us spend by far the most time at work, and work often presents the most compatible partners. I would seek a partner in the workplace, if she met the above criteria.


TheThinker wrote :
I do think if you like this guy, next time he makes the "hey, let's get together!" comment, you should ask if he needs your number, and leave it at that.

At the very least, I think it's a step in the right direction to knowing whether you've been friend-zoned, or not.

This is a bad idea! It's very condescending and dismissive.

It's reasonable to ask to defer a communication until later (for instance, "I can't talk now; may we speak this evening?")

***

I would work on determining if there is exclusivity. After that, I would look at whether future plans are being made based on fitting me into a partner's life; that's real.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #23  April 7,2011, 3:52pm
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D_Lion wrote :
This is a bad idea! It's very condescending and dismissive.
Oh for pete's sake...there's nothing condescending about offering a person your number...you're reading way too much into it.

Teenagers do the stuff this guy is doing.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #24  April 7,2011, 4:12pm
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I work in a smallish office with a hundred-odd people in it. We have had our share of office romances, and the rumor mill is insane. Everyone knows everyone else's business, and nothing is secret for very long.

In my particular office, I would never want to date anyone from work. Way too many people knowing my private business.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #25  April 7,2011, 4:55pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Oh for pete's sake...there's nothing condescending about offering a person your number...you're reading way too much into it.

Sure, offering the number is fine.

Dismissing someone who is trying to speak to you at the moment with "you have my number" (as a fake way of suggesting he's defective because he "isn't calling to ask me out") is just all ate up with the hoity-toity-ness.


mitchell175 wrote :
I work in a smallish office with a hundred-odd people in it. We have had our share of office romances, and the rumor mill is insane. Everyone knows everyone else's business, and nothing is secret for very long.

In my particular office, I would never want to date anyone from work. Way too many people knowing my private business.

I'm speaking of discreet relationships leading to marrige.

For me, work is just the best place to meet a decent number of professionals. Although admittedly the riskiest, it's the best option for scale since school.

But ... not for casual, I agree with that.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #26  April 7,2011, 5:00pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I'm speaking of discreet relationships leading to marrige.
Trust me, at my place of work, there is no such thing as discreet. Everyone knows your business!
 
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pisto is offline pisto Post #27  April 7,2011, 5:01pm
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I think ya'll need to take a step back and read:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...sumptions.html (New Rule of Dating #3: Assumptions)

He wants to take her out for drinks, what's the issue?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #28  April 7,2011, 5:15pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Sure, offering the number is fine.

Dismissing someone who is trying to speak to you at the moment with "you have my number" (as a fake way of suggesting he's defective because he "isn't calling to ask me out") is just all ate up with the hoity-toity-ness.
as someone who professes to be so succinct, don't put words in my mouth, and you know know full well that's not what I said.
once again, you're reaching. no one used the term defective but you..
Please..enough with the drama.
Last edited by TheThinker; April 7,2011 at 5:18pm.
 
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ann_the_bold is offline ann_the_bold Post #29  April 7,2011, 8:29pm
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Thinker you CRACK ME UP! Remind me to stay off your lawn!!! And turn the music down. And get a haircut.

D_Lion you have some good insights yes I did stay of my own free will and yes I'd've been spooked if he showed any over-concern. And thanks for the observation of him being un-aggressive.

I'm finding while Mr. Goodwrench is very confident in a lot of things he's actually a little on the shy side. This is a weird scenario all-around because a) he's 8-9 years younger than I and b) I was off the dating market for some years being in the convent (I'd asked some questions in others posts back in like '09) and am still in the shallow end of the dating pool. With water wings. And nose plugs. And a life vest. With zinc oxide all over my face

I can't thank everyone enough for the sage advice. We're supposed to go out tomorrow evening, so I will keep you all posted if it went well!
 
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