Is there such a thing as "moving too fast"?


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #21  April 4,2011, 5:31pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Since you are a long time lurker on these Advice boards then you should be well aware that most people, of both genders, consider that no sex by the third date is odd and a reason to end the relationship.
 
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lizzy1999 is offline lizzy1999 Post #22  April 4,2011, 5:40pm
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Please do what is comfortable for you. It is your body so respect it and don't give in to pressure if you don't want to do something.

Sleeping with someone on the 3rd date? Wow, is that really the consensus on these boards? I guess everyone has their own pace.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #23  April 4,2011, 5:41pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Since you are a long time lurker on these Advice boards then you should be well aware that most people, of both genders, consider that no sex by the third date is odd and a reason to end the relationship.
Some, not most. I would say it's pretty well split on that issue, with both males and females.
 
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lizzy1999 is offline lizzy1999 Post #24  April 5,2011, 5:13am
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TheThinker wrote :
Facts:
-recently separated...(equals: still married and possibly not emotionally ready)
-wants you to come over to his place(equals: hey baby, let's do the horizontal boogie)
-You're a virgin..and he's gonna be your first, huh?
methinks he's licking his chops...

I'll tell ya this guy sounds like he's bouncing so high he's gonna be outta sight...
Is this the best you can do?
these aren't red flags..these are sirens blaring..

I'd rethink this if I were you.
Ack, I missed the part that said this would be your first. Thinker is right - please don't rush and pay attention to the sirens! I'm not saying your first has to be very very special but I have a feeling this guy is not it. And he's married...
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #25  April 5,2011, 10:24am
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For me, there definitely can be too fast! The man who starts calling me daily or texts me every morning after one date or asks details about my child before he even knows me....these are not necessarily deal breakers (and may IN FACT be things I am looking for in a LTR) but coupled with other behavior early on is.

For example, I met a very attractive successful guy on EH. Then I learned he had two prior wives. And a seemingly endless amount of girl friends, including a recent one that he was serious enough to consider living with/buying a house together. And that he just broke up with her a couple weeks before re-starting EH again. And meeting me and starting on a whirlwind of hooking me in within literally a month of that break up.

To me....that was moving too fast...with someone who likely wanted an instant relationship. Plus, all the not-so subtle "how hot are we going to be together" comments (which again in the right context is great). Ew.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #26  April 5,2011, 11:06am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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I was going to say that it really doesn't sound like you are all that interested in this guy ...hey, it happens, no physical attraction ...blah blah blah ...

but, then ...

DustBunny84 wrote :
Also, he's recently separated from his wife of 7 years
SCREEEEEECH!!! (the sound of tires coming to a 60-0 full-stop).

On the bright side, I can offer you this ...you don't need to 'wonder' if you are the rebound - you ARE the rebound.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #27  April 7,2011, 7:34pm
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is so in love!!

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Since you are a long time lurker on these Advice boards then you should be well aware that most people, of both genders, consider that no sex by the third date is odd and a reason to end the relationship.
I don't consider no sex by the third date odd at all. To me, sex by the third date is odd. You don't even know the person by the third date. Anyway-off my soap box. You have to do what is comfortable for you. But remember - it would be your first time. You have to think about how special you want that experience to be for you-if at all. Also remember he is still technically married. Even it it doesn't bother you that he is only separated - you may be his first since his divorce. I would wonder if I was rebound girl. Also, since this is a new relationship, do you know if he's sleeping with other women? I'd think about that too.

Sorry, I see red flags all over the place on this one.
 
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