Is two years older a big deal for men?


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findtheone is offline findtheone Post #1  April 3,2011, 9:45am
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Are men, specifically men in their 20s put off by women who are older than they are, even 2 years older?

I made a comment one day about age. The man I was talking to asked how old I was, I said 26. He admitted that he thought I was younger. I asked if he was younger than me and made a face that read "I'd hate to tell you." He is 2 years younger than I am. Was that really a face of disappointment, shock? I didn't know how to take that response, I still don't. Can anybody help me figure this out?
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #2  April 3,2011, 9:58am
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I wonder if it's a maturity issue? Really, it's no big deal for guys who are mature enough to not care what society thinks.

The only reason that I'm hesitant to go even 1 or 2 years older than I am, is I'm 35... and once a woman gets into her upper 30's the risk of childbearing greatly increases. If I was 30 or 32 I wouldn't care as much.
 
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beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #3  April 3,2011, 10:05am
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Sparkles56 wrote :
I wonder if it's a maturity issue? Really, it's no big deal for guys who are mature enough to not care what society thinks.

The only reason that I'm hesitant to go even 1 or 2 years older than I am, is I'm 35... and once a woman gets into her upper 30's the risk of childbearing greatly increases. If I was 30 or 32 I wouldn't care as much.
What happens if you don't meet "the one" until you are in your mid 40's or later? Will you only date women younger than 35?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  April 3,2011, 10:08am
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I don't much care about a partner's age, but judging from many comments made on this site, I seem to be an outlier in this regard. In my case, children are not and never were a concern.

There are many reasons your partner may have made such a statement ... a goal you elaborated on ("I'd like to [goal] by age ...") which, once he knew your age, he realized he couldn't be a part of ... society or peer influence ...

Although I don't think you should overstate the importance of a facial gesture (men are often less skilled at understanding how such a message might be received - and women overreact to them anyway), I do think you should take this opportunity to have a discussion about age, place in life, future plans, and so forth.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #5  April 3,2011, 10:09am
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I think a lot of guys like dating older women. In many cases when a woman is going out with a younger guy she tends to be a little more.......well let's say.......aggressive.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #6  April 3,2011, 10:18am
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It depends on the individual - I'm 26 and there are 24 yr olds who get uneasy with the age difference and 21 yr olds who don't.

I will say that 24-26 seems to be an age when men are having a quarter-of-a-century crisis. You don't know what you're going to get in that age range and for the most part, what they say they want isn't exactly what they do (not that they're deceptive, they're just asking "who am I? what am I doing with my life?" type questions and haven't picked a direction). I date younger sometimes b/c they're fun, but I do it knowing they might go into existential crisis mode.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #7  April 3,2011, 10:26am
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2 years seems pretty insignificant in either direction to me.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  April 3,2011, 10:34am
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Is it possible your friend worried you would reject him for being younger? since he'd "hate to tell you"?
 
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pisto is offline pisto Post #9  April 3,2011, 10:37am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Is it possible your friend worried you would reject him for being younger? since he'd "hate to tell you"?
Seems reasonable - pretty stereotypical for the guy to be older.
 
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findtheone is offline findtheone Post #10  April 3,2011, 10:44am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Is it possible your friend worried you would reject him for being younger? since he'd "hate to tell you"?

I hadn't thought about it that way. I am always so worried about being the one who gets rejected, it is hard to even imagine the other way around.

He is also a little more successful than I am. So, would that have anything to do with it? He got the job I was going for.
Last edited by findtheone; April 3,2011 at 10:46am. Reason: wanted to add a point I should have mentioned
 
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