I like his brother... Advice?


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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #1  April 1,2011, 12:48pm
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I recently met up with a school friend whom I haven't seen in ages.
He's had a huge crush on me since then (admitted it to me yesterday).
Anyway, as soon as I arrived to his house I was introduced to his younger brother. I'm more attracted to the brother! I only spoke to him for a few minutes, but I would like the chance to hang out with him again. He was very friendly to me, hard to say if he was just being polite or if he might find me attractive. He complimented me when we were talking. He was very warm, gave me a kiss on the cheek and hug goodbye. Of course, it was a very brief encounter- so I don't have much to go by in terms of if something could spark from this. And it was the 3 of us, so hard to be too friendly/flirty in that situation....

Anyway, what should I do? How should I approach this? The guy that I met up with really really likes me. He wants to see me again. Problem is, (after spending time with him yesterday) I realize that I'm not that into him. I don't want to lead him on. If I break things off than I won't be able to see the brother ever again. Should I be open/blunt about it (like say 'I like your brother...')- or is that rude/bad? I mean, I doubt he'd say sure..have my bro...here's his number.. They are very close and live together.

I don't want to offend anyone either. Should I just lay off the whole family and just say I'm not looking to date right now? Other part of this problem is just getting rid of someone. I have a tough time with that. So it's like how do I tell him I don't want more with him? The other part of this is...do you think I might have a shot with his brother? If so, how should I go about it?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  April 1,2011, 1:08pm
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Dont even go down this path....the unwritten rules with guys is that you dont go after a best friends g/f or your siblings g/f.
 
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Lindac7 is offline Lindac7 Post #3  April 1,2011, 1:19pm
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However, she's not a girlfriend, and hasn't been, to either of them . . . yet. ;-)

The first brother is only in pursuit, but hasn't caught anything.
 
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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #4  April 1,2011, 1:27pm
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Lindac7 wrote :
However, she's not a girlfriend, and hasn't been, to either of them . . . yet. ;-)

The first brother is only in pursuit, but hasn't caught anything.
Exactly. I only hung out with him once. It was for just a few hours. Not like we actually dated or anything. Would his bro really still be considered off limits?
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #5  April 1,2011, 1:39pm
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LoveSong wrote :
Exactly. I only hung out with him once. It was for just a few hours. Not like we actually dated or anything. Would his bro really still be considered off limits?
Not necessarily, but he still might think it's against the "guy code".

The problem here is that the only connection you've got to the brother is your friend. You can't hang out with the friend, only hoping to connect with the brother. That is so rude, and stringing the friend along. It would be one thing if you were all in a group, and one guy liked you, but you liked his brother/friend. I just don't see how in this case you can really say "Hey, is your bro single?" when your friend has expressed romantic interest in you.

Do you even know if the brother is single?
 
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dmi is offline dmi Post #6  April 1,2011, 1:39pm
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Lindac7 wrote :
However, she's not a girlfriend, and hasn't been, to either of them . . . yet. ;-)

The first brother is only in pursuit, but hasn't caught anything.
LoveSong wrote :
Exactly. I only hung out with him once. It was for just a few hours. Not like we actually dated or anything. Would his bro really still be considered off limits?
Let's put it this way, if I were the guy's brother I wouldn't touch the OP with a 10 foot pole.
 
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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #7  April 1,2011, 1:44pm
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mitchell175 wrote :

Do you even know if the brother is single?
Yes, he's single.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #8  April 1,2011, 1:50pm
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dmi wrote :
Let's put it this way, if I were the guy's brother I wouldn't touch the OP with a 10 foot pole.
This... In most cases, this is the reaction you're going to get from a guy if he is the brother. Doesn't matter if she has been the guy's GF or not... He likes her, which automatically gets her off the brother list of women he is allowed to pursue ... The situation is indeed not much different than the "calling dibs" rule.

HOWEVER, with that said... As some of you may very well know, there is one standing exception to MOST rules in the bro code, and that exception is: "Unless she's really hot". So the real question to the OP is:

Are you hot enough?

On a more serious note: Do NOT ask the guy for his bro's contact info or something, nor should you continue to see him... Just tell him you're not interested, and try to figure out another way of running into the brother somehow... maybe through a mutual acquaintance or something.
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #9  April 1,2011, 1:53pm
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Personally, I wouldn't go there. If it turned out to be just a short fling, would it be worth it, given the hurt you are going to inflict? And if it did turn into a LTR, how long would it take before you were comfortable at family gatherings? Nope.
 
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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #10  April 1,2011, 2:09pm
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Harryoss wrote :
try to figure out another way of running into the brother somehow... maybe through a mutual acquaintance or something.
There is no connection between us except for the fact his bro likes me. No mutual friends. We live almost an hour away too. I did think about adding him on facebook but I think that might come off as weird/stalkerish. He doesn't know my last name, so no way for him to add me. But it's def too weird to add him to my face book now. Maybe in time?

The bro mentioned in the convo how pretty I was. He said it twice I think too. So I wasn't sure if that meant he finds me attractive, or if he's just being complimentary to be nice. If you're a guy...maybe you can answer that part....
 
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