3 dates in 3months????


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
pattycakexoxo is offline pattycakexoxo Post #1  March 31,2011, 1:34pm
pattycakexoxo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2011

Posts: 10

See profile

A while ago I was on eHarmony....I was matched up wioth a collegue of mine and we both kinda giggled about it together. Well as we spoke over the next fewmonths we agreed to go out for coffee together...Wound up at a movie and a late night snack..was a bit awkward but it was ok....second date a bit better...we had a blast...and this last weekend...we had an amazing time....
He is a muscian/music teacher in a different building than I am...we dont talk on the phone much and he doesnt text...we have exchanged smail mail (very cute) and interoffice mail...and occasionally emails with date info...
The last date we had changed the way I felt about him and I believe for him as well..but no plans for this weekend as of yet...yes I am sure we will go out again but it is going w a y t o s l o w for me...

I am a widow and he is a bachelor who is looking to settle down...I am 48 he is 54....I havent beenin the dating world for a long time and most people I have met wernt hanging around with...but something clicked and I dont know if I should just call and ask him out for this weekend....Or should I leave it alone nd let him plan our next date?

I am so used to being a couple (I was married 20 years) it is hard to be a single person.....lol
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  March 31,2011, 2:11pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

You call and you ask....
 
  Reply With Quote
savman is offline savman Post #3  March 31,2011, 2:13pm
savman's Avatar

is back in the game

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2010

Blissville

Posts: 2,779

See profile

The dating world has changed a lot in the last 20 years. It is usually more about two equal people than it used to be.

If you wished things were moving faster then you have the ability to change that. You don't have to wait around and play the meek woman role of years past. You have just as much right to suggest doing something together as he does.
 
  Reply With Quote
TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #4  March 31,2011, 2:18pm
TiffanyDiamon…'s Avatar

is so in love!!

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1,200

See profile

Wow this sounds like my experience with a former work collegue. Both in our early 50's. We didn't work together so much as he was a client of my company and we talked daily and saw each other at least once a week. We went for drinks and dinner a couple of times. There was an attraction but we didn't act on it because of the business situation. After I left the job we did start going out but it was also slow going like your situation. We had a lot of fun together but all it did really was confuse me because we would go out...then some time would pass. Then we would go out again. Then some more time would pass. I like to take things slowly too but he was too slow even for me. I figured he wasn't really interested - it shouldn't take that long. In fact to move things along I did ask him out once but we never made firm plans. It was difficult too because I had never asked a man out. I think he liked to do the asking because we did go out after that. So I'll tell you by the time he got it into gear and started moving faster...I was gone. Met a great guy and we have been together almost a year. Oh well, you snooze, you lose...

The only thing I can say is you could go ahead and ask him out and see what happens. If I had it to do all over again I probably would have started dating other people sooner - but I really liked the guy. Anyway if this guy is interested he should find some way to let you know.
Last edited by TiffanyDiamond; March 31,2011 at 2:21pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  March 31,2011, 2:29pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

three dates in three months suggests apathy. you cant make something happen by asking him out. if its not there its not there. you say you think something changed for him, but if it did he would have asked you

sure there are exceptions, but men usually know what they want and go after it.

i'd prefer spending the time dating others rather than wondering what mr three dates in three months is thinking!
 
  Reply With Quote
savman is offline savman Post #6  March 31,2011, 2:37pm
savman's Avatar

is back in the game

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2010

Blissville

Posts: 2,779

See profile

Nanette wrote :
three dates in three months suggests apathy. you cant make something happen by asking him out. if its not there its not there. you say you think something changed for him, but if it did he would have asked you

sure there are exceptions, but men usually know what they want and go after it.

i'd prefer spending the time dating others rather than wondering what mr three dates in three months is thinking!
I totally agree about it sounding like apathy.

I disagree with the part about that being 100% the mans fault.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  March 31,2011, 2:39pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

did i say 100%? i meant 1000%
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  March 31,2011, 2:40pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

actually all i said was that most men see what they want and go after it. if they dont want it, they are usually apathetic about it unless it asks them out... or they are askeerd to ask for some reason. if hes disinterested or afraid its not her problem
 
  Reply With Quote
LDJ is offline LDJ Post #9  March 31,2011, 3:05pm
LDJ's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2010

Venus, apparently

Posts: 1,524

See profile

OP, I think I'd need more info. Is there anything else he disclosed in the conversation you had with him that gave you the impression he is looking to settle down? Is he clear about what you are looking for?

I just wonder if he is reluctant becuase of the work situation and unclear about what you're looking for.

From what you have provided, it seems he enjoys your company but isn't even seeing this as in relationship mode at all. I get the impression he sees you as a special friend to do things with on occassion rather than a romantic interest.

Why no texts or phone calls? Did you and he discuss your on line experiences in general? Do you know if he is dating others?
 
  Reply With Quote
SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  March 31,2011, 3:10pm
SteveManchest…'s Avatar

is too happy

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2010

rainy uk

Posts: 5,026

See profile

sounds wishy washy. surely a man is driven partly by the desire to get the woman into bed thus is keen to arrange dates. this man is just casual about dating that it's in my opinion at the friendship level.

unless you come back and tell me you have sex with on some or all of those dates I don't think he's that into you. in which case he's just using you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« 4th date in two weeks | Dating | Asking Questions.... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Spinoff: Do you do the following on dates? BabyYoda Dating 42 January 30,2012 6:38am
Coffee dates - good or bad? DancingFool Dating 69 October 29,2011 6:59pm
Do women on eHarmony want to go on dates as much as men? adamgalas Using eHarmony 30 January 10,2011 9:11pm
Blue jeans on dates HandsomeManDapper Dating 61 January 5,2011 2:56pm
Any thoughts on my attire preferences for dates? classy1984female Dating 13 December 27,2010 3:10am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:42am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0