she doesn't pay for dates, so that's why she's single?

meh. we've been friends since fifth grade. I feel comfortable enough with her to say, casually, "hey, mebbe he's serious about the paying for things being a single parent. why don't you surprise him and pay for lunch or dinner one night?!" and leave it at that. she won't care if I say that, and, if she does it, it's gonna pleasantly surprise him.

dancingfool, I think you're very right. my friend has the unfortunate tendency, however, to settle for whoever she is with at the time, so I hope she doesn't "settle" for this guy just because he is into her. she hates to be alone and hates to be single, so she pretty much does whatever she can to avoid that.

To the woman who disagree: How long would you stay in a relationship with a man who expected you to pay for everything you did together? How about if you also had to make the call to set up the date, and plan it out. Would you think things were a bit one sided? Would you think he did not really care much about you? I think the guy would have to be off the charts hot to even get a second date from almost any woman.

If I was expected the fill the "guy" role then I would expect him to fill the "girl" role. And if he did that, I think it would be fair. Would I personally like to be in the "guy" role? No, because I'm a girl and I like being in my role.

I like taking care of my guy. I like cooking him meals that are ready for him when he comes home after a long day. I like the fact that if he calls in the middle of the day complaining that he got a nose bleed (again) and now his shirt is all bloody, I can smile over the phone and say, "No problem babe, I secretly placed an extra shirt in the trunk because I know this happens to you." I like surprising my guy with dinner at work when he calls me saying he has to pull an all nighter. I like the fact that he can randomly call me and say, "I'm at the grocery store and decided I want t make French Toast. What do I need to make that and I'll call you back when I get home so you can walk me through it." I like the fact that I can run little eerands for him to make his life easier. I like the fact that I can help him not have to worry about what to bring to the company party because I'll just whip something up for him to take. I like the fact that when he is having a bad day, I can always make him feel better, mentally and physically. I like the fact that I always have a calming effect on my guy. I love the way he lights up when he sees the awesome present that I got that he never in a million years through to get for himself but it was just the right thing for him. I love the fact that I can call my guy to wake him up in the morning so he doesn't over sleep after a long night even if that means I have to wake up 2 hours earlier than I needed to.

I love all the little caring things that I contribute to my guy just so he's happier. Do those things cost money? Most of the time no, but not everything in life can be purchased with money and often the best things can't be.

Doesn't he do similar things for you? Perhaps walking you through home repairs, or putting the trash out on trash day?