Do you rely on your gut reaction?

Strange wording.

If something is factual then it is factual. And I see no reason to question that.

If my gut tells me something I have been told is likely incorrect then I will often try to reconcile the two. If that is impossible, then you have to figure out how important it is.

Likely I would let one gut feeling slide, depending on how strongly I felt it, and how important it was.

But, sometimes you can get multiple vibes that things are not right. Then you usually just have to move on if you have no way to find out the truth for sure.

I think it is important to note the difference between the word factual and the words and actions of people.

Fact > Actions > Words

I got with my gut more than the "facts" stated. They are provided by the person trying to get you to date them, so they may not really be "facts". I think it is sometimes good to question what someone tells you.

I was recently contacted by a man who stated he was separated. Besides this fact, I would have accepted a date with him. I sent him an e-mail stating this preference. A couple of months later I was contacted by him again. This time his profile stated that he was a widow. Hhhmmmmm.... So, from separated to widow in less than two months. Now, this could be true, but my feeling is that he was hoping I would have forgotten who he was and he adjusted the "facts" in his profile. This was a gut call. Declined.

Well, I'm a newbie to the dating scene, but I'll say this much: there was one guy that my gut told me wasn't right for me. But because I received so few matches, I met this guy for lunch. (an OKC match btw). And he just really creeped me out. I can't put my finger on it, even now, but the feeling was very strong. I think in the future I will listen more to my gut.

As some of you know from previous posts, my gut reaction has sometimes led me astray. It has caused me to trust men I should not have trusted.

I have thought about this a lot and I've come to a few conclusions:

1. Trust, but verify. I don't want to go through life being distrustful because I know that most people are honest and reliable. So, I still prefer to trust but I will also do more to protect myself but asking more direct questions. Some questions that I always thought it rude to ask have now become necessary to ask.

2. The more experience, the clearer the gut reaction. Our gut reactions are, I think, a consequence of our experiences. The more experience we have in meeting people, the better we are able to discern character. It's not unlike training by repetition. You can act on instinct when you've done something often enough.

When I started reading online profiles, I was actually training myself to read them and to read into them. The more I read, the more I get a sense of what is and what is not the style and tone of an ordinary person looking for love. When something (maybe even just a word or phrase) seems a bit 'off' now, it is in comparison to all the other profiles I have read. I could not have picked those things out so easily at first.

3. Bad experiences are good. The few bad experiences I have had have provided me with a lot of food for thought about my own reactions as well as the behaviours of the men concerned. Obviously, I don't want to repeat my errors, and now I have some comparisons on which to draw. This makes me a smarter and a safer dater.

I just never have understood this "gut" thing.