Who pays, with a twist: when he makes less than she does


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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #71  March 30,2011, 12:00pm
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Xable wrote :
I don't think we have evolved as much as some people would like to think we have and all gender role denying is doing is confusing people.
Sorry to be taking this thread off topic, but I wanted to respond to your quote. :-) I don't know that I agree with the second half of your statement, but I definitely agree with the first. I think we like to think that we've evolved but there are certain behaviors or attitudes we may cling to, all the while saying we are for equality. Also, in reality, it most certainly has not been achieved. We know that there is still a hunger for certain behaviors that some see as inconsistent with equality in terms of courtship, but also that old habits can come into play once in the relationship, i.e. the assumption you're talking about that a man will financially support as well as the reality that there is still an imbalance in things like housework in relationships that falls back on what was traditionally expected.
 
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seekerd is offline seekerd Post #72  March 31,2011, 12:41pm
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boschimsp wrote :
It is a facinating comment, especially since I would argue that at least from a financial standpoint this is probably more prevalent than just this woman. It's funny because there are so many studies that show that on many levels, men net out much better than women today when it comes to marriage.
Maybe you should quote those studies and provide the appropriate references, because if they exist at all, most men are not aware of them. Everywhere you look, men become considerably disadvantaged when a marriage does not work out. And according to consensus, 50% of all marriages won't work out. Even in those marriages that work out, men cannot really point to many major advantages compared to women.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #73  April 1,2011, 1:13am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
but you told him you wanted to be a stay at home mum. therefore you stated a role which involved unpaid parenting. I think he made a reasonable assumption that as you were doing your bit by doing unpaid parenting work then he had his role to play but he didn't think he could support it. I don't see that he wanted to "provide for you" but just wanted to do his fair share in the family unit.
Exactly Steve. He was being level-headed because he was reacting to the information that he was given (which wasn't much). You can't get down on somebody for coming to uninformed conclusions when you haven't informed him of the entire picture.

His reactions were reasonable based on what he was told.

And i'm sorry.. no.. it was not "me tarzan.. me takc care of jane" impulses that caused his reaction. That's just ridiculous.

Richey
 
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richey is offline richey Post #74  April 1,2011, 1:16am
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boschimsp wrote :
It's funny because there are so many studies that show that on many levels, men net out much better than women today when it comes to marriage.

Pray tell, please guide us to all these funny studies.

Thank you.

Richey
 
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keepitreal4love is offline keepitreal4love Post #75  April 1,2011, 2:06am
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Lindac7 wrote :
Any guy who wants me to be his Sugar Mama is not a guy I could ever respect. I'm not looking for a little boy, I'm looking for a man.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I have always contributed my fair share to any dating relationship I've been in.
Does that work both ways or are just women allowed to gold dig?
 
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keepitreal4love is offline keepitreal4love Post #76  April 1,2011, 2:07am
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hankscorpio wrote :
This thread is so humorous. The question is a paradox. It has been my experience that a woman won't date a man who makes less money than her.
Yeah then they whine they can't find someone...see "Why Can't Successful Women Find a Man" thread.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #77  April 1,2011, 1:28pm
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Let's face it, many men, historically, accept golddigers. Society has said that it's fine to pay for a woman you never would have attracted without money.

It's different for wealthy women. Most I know, all cougar jokes aside, would feel dumb with a hot younger man. They would be a target of jokes while their male peers would 've congratulated in a parallel scenario.

Are there some who accept male golddigers? Sure. But what I see is wealthy women seeking something different than their male financial equals. Power as in the case of Heinz/Kerry. High achievement like Meg Whitman and her super doctor husband.

They can financially support these men and feel good about it because they have status and are doing good.
 
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