Do old-fashioned dating rules still apply'?


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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #91  March 29,2011, 7:09pm
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myusernamehere wrote :
Put yourself in his shoes. You spend $50+ on a date only to have her pull the "no chemistry" card. A few dates that end like this and you're out hundreds of dollars with nothing to show for it. Doesn't it make sense for him to wait on paying until he knows for sure she's truly interested in him?
I’m not going to repeat my previous post. I just want to add this. Have you ever seen the movie Curly Sue? It's about this bum and his adorable little girl. Probably not since it is more of a chick flick. Anyway the bum meets this rich woman and takes her out on a great date and doesn’t spend a dime! I loved how they got into the movie theater and creatively procured their popcorn.

I’m not saying you should do anything illegal, obviously, but you don’t have to spend $50.00 on your dates. “So how am I going to feed her,” you ask? One of my dates took me to a watermelon festival. It was like five bucks to get in and I had a wonderful time! I ate so much watermelon I thought I was going to pop! I'm sure there is fun, romantic, inexpensive stuff that you can do in your area, too. Necessity is the mother of invention. Be creative. There isn’t any problem that can’t be solved with a little imagination.

Best of luck.
 
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azrunner is offline azrunner Post #92  March 29,2011, 7:34pm
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I'm with the guys on this one. It is *not* fair that the guys are always expected to pay for the first date and even subsequent dates. That isn't equality at all. I totally sympathize with the guys. I believe in taking turns when paying and starting this right away. Equality, women, equality. I'd much rather have equality than a free meal.
 
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JuniperBerry is offline JuniperBerry Post #93  March 29,2011, 7:37pm
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myusernamehere wrote :
Put yourself in his shoes. You spend $50+ on a date only to have her pull the "no chemistry" card. A few dates that end like this and you're out hundreds of dollars with nothing to show for it. Doesn't it make sense for him to wait on paying until he knows for sure she's truly interested in him?

I dunno, this kinda makes sense to me

But to be clear, how about interested in each other?

For the first few dates I am more than happy to chip in and I always offer. The offer has run the gammet from being brushed off, accepted politely or I'll leave the tip. I have never been asked to pay for a portion, and honestly it is doubtful I would see that favorably.

Now, once mutual attraction and interest come into play and the fella would like to romance and woo me, heck ya! Then it's a gift and one that is graciously received. Oh the delight of reciprical give and take and sharing in a little space in time. Non of this push-you, pull-me nonsense. Oiy!

But then.....I*AM*CANADIAN*.......and we are ever so polite

*Juniper*
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #94  March 30,2011, 6:30am
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Diana_P wrote :
For me it is about tradition and proper courtship not money.
sounds like a contradiction of the concept of wanting a man to pay.


Diana_P wrote :
She needs to know that if her guy could he would give her the moon and the stars. .....
That isn’t the feeling a woman gets when a man asks her to pay or split the check. Does that make sense?
I don't think anyone should ever "ask" because we're adults, I also think no-one should assume that they have to be asked or that they don't need to pay. I never ask for money when the bill arrives. It's the same when I'm with my friends (male and female) - I never ask or get asked for money - we both get money out.



Diana_P wrote :
Do you recall the post about disposable relationships where I mentioned that some women have already picked out the wedding dress even before the first date is over?
Frankly any woman or man who thinks like that sounds a bit dreamy. But then I recently watched "eat pray love" so perhaps you're right some women think like that - perhaps they're a bit dreamy. We're all allowed to dream.



Diana_P wrote :
Your hot date that insisted she pay may have wanted to make a statement or felt like she had something to prove, I don’t know. Her eagerness to pay could also suggest she is concealing something; an unsavory agenda, desperateness, a sorted past, again I don’t know. Or it simply could have been a genuine show of interest,
There's something very strange about that comment. You state a woman I dated is eager to pay and that "could also suggest" she is.... and then a list of nasty vile comments followed by 'or it simply could have been a genuine show of interest'.

I just don't get it. Who thinks like that? Why did you write that?


Diana_P wrote :
...but since you aren’t seeing her anymore I would say her kind gesture was ineffective.
Even if I wasn't going to see her again a kind gesture is still effective. I don't recall saying I was or wasn't seeing her again.
Last edited by SteveManchesterEngland; March 30,2011 at 6:34am.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #95  March 30,2011, 9:19am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
There's something very strange about that comment. You state a woman I dated is eager to pay and that "could also suggest" she is.... and then a list of nasty vile comments followed by 'or it simply could have been a genuine show of interest'.

I just don't get it. Who thinks like that? Why did you write that?
Sorry. I didn’t mean to speak ill of your friend. Sometimes it is hard to tell what someone’s intention is when you don’t live inside their head. I tend to be a little naïve and assume the best and later regret that I wasn’t more cautious, that’s all. I think we both got a little carried away with this convo because we are both so passionate about our positions.

I’m only 34 so I don’t think my values are that antiquated and I’m shocked they seem to be so unpopular.

I would also like to point out that the one time I did offer to pay for dinner my date let me know that he was deeply offended by my gesture. He wasn’t mean about it, but he let me know I hurt his feelings.

Anyway, I have clearly lost this debate so I concede at my attempt to hold back time. I’m glad you didn’t take any real offense. Thanks for making an honest effort to appreciate my position and for letting me mourn for the loss of courtship and simpler times.

Good luck with your future dates.
 
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