Dating: the desert island scenario . . .


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
SufiMalcolm is offline SufiMalcolm Post #1  March 26,2011, 7:54am
SufiMalcolm's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2011

Florida

Posts: 60

See profile

So . . . you've been shipwrecked on a desert island with just one other person of the opposite sex.

For whatever reason you care to imagine, there is zero percent chance that you'll ever be rescued (just take it as the necessary premise of this post . . .). You are going to spend the rest of your life alone with this person on this island.

What can you say is most likely about whether you'd have a romantic relationship with this other person?

You have only two choices:

(A) I'd only become romantically involved with the person if they met my usual standards for age, height, weight, looks, education, religion, income, hobbies, and etc.

(B) I'd become romantically involved with this other person regardless of everything else provided that: they wanted to be romantically involved with me.

------------------------------------------
Please . . . don't confuse the intention of this post by arguing with its basic premise ("no such thing as zero percent chance") . . . or qualifying the choices ("it depends on . . .") . . . or introducing other choices ("C, D . . .").
Last edited by SufiMalcolm; March 26,2011 at 8:01am.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  March 26,2011, 8:31am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

If my experience is any guide, I would be unlikely to develop romantic feelings for the person unless they met my customary screening criteria (perhaps adapted as necessary given the scenario - for example income would apparently no longer have any meaning.)

I would undoubtedly loosen my standards considerably to be intimate, as there is no other sex partner available (unless I was simply repulsed by them.)
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #3  March 26,2011, 8:43am
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

How do you define "romantically involved" here?

Is this a "Blue Lagoon" type of romantic involvement, where the 2 people in question "discover" each other, and have no basis to know what "love" is, but end up in some kind of "relationship" anyway?

Or is this simply "sex" for the sake of sexual release, whether you like, have attraction for, or generally want to think of this other person in that sense?

It seems that the choices you have laid out are either:
A) become romantically involved with someone who I would not choose.
Or:
B) become romantically involved with someone who would not choose me.

Do I have that right?
 
  Reply With Quote
SufiMalcolm is offline SufiMalcolm Post #4  March 26,2011, 8:56am
SufiMalcolm's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2011

Florida

Posts: 60

See profile

mitchell175 wrote :
Do I have that right?
Sorry . . . I feel you're complicating it.

It's really a simple question.

If the person is open to a loving relationship with you . . . are you likely to end up in a loving relationship with them regardless of anything else . . . or not?
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #5  March 26,2011, 9:03am
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

SufiMalcolm wrote :
If the person is open to a loving relationship with you . . . are you likely to end up in a loving relationship with them regardless of anything else . . . or not?
Since you say "loving relationship", I assume this is the "Blue Lagoon" type thing.

This is really like a "tree falling in the forest" type of question. It is impossible to answer, but I will try. My requirement for a "loving relationship" is not just that the other person is open to having that with me. I also need to be open to having that with him.

So, in "A", if the assumption is that this person does meet my requirements, then "Yes". But, there is not enough information in your question to determine if this person does or doesn't meet those requirements. (But, in the Reading Comprehension section on standardized tests like the SATs, students are always cautioned not to assume!)

And, "B" assumes that my only requirement is that they want to be with me. As I said above, that is not true.
Last edited by mitchell175; March 26,2011 at 9:06am.
 
  Reply With Quote
SufiMalcolm is offline SufiMalcolm Post #6  March 26,2011, 9:14am
SufiMalcolm's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2011

Florida

Posts: 60

See profile

mitchell175 wrote :
This is really like a "tree falling in the forest" type of question. It is impossible to answer, but I will try. My requirement for a "loving relationship" is not just that the other person is open to having that with me. I also need to be open to having that with him.
I will translate what you've said . . . into the terms of the original question asked.

You are answering (A): if you were alone on a desert island with someone for the rest of your life you'd only be likely to develope love for them if they met certain of your everyday dating criteria such as age, looks, etc.
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #7  March 26,2011, 9:28am
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

SufiMalcolm wrote :
I will translate what you've said . . . into the terms of the original question asked.

You are answering (A): if you were alone on a desert island with someone for the rest of your life you'd only be likely to develope love for them if they met certain of your everyday dating criteria such as age, looks, etc.
I will translate what I said, which is that I am answering "A", based on the fact that you haven't given enough information on whether this person does or does not meet my criteria. You said "only if". That doesn't rule out the fact that they don't.

To me, your argument sounds like if I go to McDonald's and can order either A) a hamburger, or B) a hamburger with fries. Either way, I've got to order a hamburger.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  March 26,2011, 9:35am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Choice A
 
  Reply With Quote
WonderingWoman is offline WonderingWoman Post #9  March 26,2011, 9:43am
WonderingWoma…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2011

Chicago

Posts: 11

See profile

SufiMalcolm wrote :
Please . . . don't confuse the intention of this post by arguing with its basic premise ("no such thing as zero percent chance") . . . or qualifying the choices ("it depends on . . .") . . . or introducing other choices ("C, D . . .").
As you can already see, you're asking a question that most people don't want to consider in the way that you're asking it. For me personally, it's not a problem: (B) is more likely than (A).
Last edited by WonderingWoman; March 26,2011 at 9:48am.
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #10  March 26,2011, 9:52am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

SufiMalcolm wrote :
So . . . you've been shipwrecked on a desert island with just one other person of the opposite sex.

For whatever reason you care to imagine, there is zero percent chance that you'll ever be rescued (just take it as the necessary premise of this post . . .). You are going to spend the rest of your life alone with this person on this island.

What can you say is most likely about whether you'd have a romantic relationship with this other person?

You have only two choices:

(A) I'd only become romantically involved with the person if they met my usual standards for age, height, weight, looks, education, religion, income, hobbies, and etc.

(B) I'd become romantically involved with this other person regardless of everything else provided that: they wanted to be romantically involved with me.

------------------------------------------
Please . . . don't confuse the intention of this post by arguing with its basic premise ("no such thing as zero percent chance") . . . or qualifying the choices ("it depends on . . .") . . . or introducing other choices ("C, D . . .").

Isnt this married life????????????

If a man and woman are trapped on an island sex between them will happen. Love wont necessarily happen because it would something like an instamarriage.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Ten Things Women Never Want to Hear on a First Date | Dating | Might've found "her"...how do I not scare her off? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
what in the world is "Casual" DATING?! jussmile Dating 61 November 5,2010 12:44am
What futuristic advancements would you recommend for our favorite dating site, eHarmony? Diana_P Using eHarmony 11 October 14,2010 2:05pm
dating and geography cp30 Dating 100 September 22,2010 5:28am
10 things Dating Sites won't tell you... SingleYetAgain Using eHarmony 28 September 12,2010 11:43am
Full figured women-how to get more out of online dating outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 9 August 14,2009 3:05pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:25am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0