Is he interested in me or am I wasting my time?


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richey is offline richey Post #11  March 25,2011, 11:11am
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Yeah move on. I don't think there's anything bad or wrong about this guy or that he's playing any games (you all don't realize what lawyer schedules are like do ya?)

But I say move on because what you are looking for is something he can't provide ~ somebody at the ready with lots of time to pay attention to you as much as you want attention.

Richey
 
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Redroses5 is offline Redroses5 Post #12  March 25,2011, 11:56am
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He's not that into you. I've dated lots of vey busy professionals. Yes, sometimes they have to cancel, but they'll rebook immediately. And send flowers.

When I guy is really interested he'll make sure you feel it. Less good communicators might not use words, but their actions won't leave doubts,
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #13  March 25,2011, 1:31pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
I would be the same way if i was dating a woman who was very attractive. Id be affraid to make the extra effort because I was unsure how she felt or would she dump me for the first hot stud she comes across.
Get Real!
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #14  March 25,2011, 1:48pm
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Your storey reads much the same as my current relationship. I didn't give up, but I didn't hold out a lot of hope in the beginning either. It depends a lot on what it is that you want. I dont' want to be smothered, and I'm not looking to cohabit or marry, so i am content with one date a week, occassionally less if things crop up.

But, if you are young and looking for someone to marry and have a family with, that's different, in this case you need more consistant exposure and deeper bonding.

It depends too on what you think of the guy, although after two dates it maybe too early to tell. I really liked the guy I got involved with who is also this busy, so I felt it was worth the struggle to see if the business was a reflection of disinterest on his part, or if he really is just that busy. It took some time to convince me, some heated debates, some real power struggles and I've had to give in to the texting as the main form of communication. For a very busy person, it does work better. We are exclusive now and going out tonight to celebrate 5 months since we met on eH.

I would suggest if you think its worth it, stay with it a while longer. Continue to see others if they are available. Next time you are face to face with him, ask him point blank if he believes he has enough spare time for dating. How serious a relationship is he looking for, and what does that look like to him as far as time spent together and communciation. I'd also ask him if his previous relationships ended because of his work schedule.
 
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Yasmin21 is offline Yasmin21 Post #15  April 8,2011, 6:14am
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I've decided to pull the plug on this one.

He's cancelled on me AGAIN by text AGAIN and I've had enough. He asked if I wanted to meet next week but quite frankly he can go and waste someone else's time. If he can't be bothered to make the effort now, he never will and I sure as hell don't intend to smile sweetly and let him get away with it!

As much as I would like to be in a relationship I value myself too much to put up with this half hearted complacent garbage.

Thanks for your input guys
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #16  April 8,2011, 6:34am
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nevermind....

after reading more of the thread, if he keeps canceling then you should move on. Don't waste your time with someone who can't or won't give you any of their time!





Yasmin21 wrote :
Now Friday has rolled around and he has texted me to cancel which I'm really annoyed about. Not only that he hasnt even suggested rescheduling! I'm tempted to just ignore his text and not reply because he just doesnt seem to have any time for me.
Last edited by jimmyh452; April 8,2011 at 6:38am.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #17  April 8,2011, 7:39am
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Yasmin21 wrote :
I've decided to pull the plug on this one.

He's cancelled on me AGAIN by text AGAIN and I've had enough. He asked if I wanted to meet next week but quite frankly he can go and waste someone else's time. If he can't be bothered to make the effort now, he never will and I sure as hell don't intend to smile sweetly and let him get away with it!

As much as I would like to be in a relationship I value myself too much to put up with this half hearted complacent garbage.

Thanks for your input guys
unfortunately you allowed him to keep doing it.

Something I learnt after years of internet dating is to back away from anyone who cancels unless they make amends. It is not your job to re-arrange as you didn't cancel.

It took me years of being messed around to realise that. You can save a lot of time by not doing what I did which was giving people too much benefit of the doubt.

I think, if I was ever put in this position again then when they cancel I would now state that "as you have cancelled, it is your duty to re-arrange and as this has inconvienienced me I expect you will be buying the drinks". It would be interesting to see the reply I'd get!

but I haven't been cancelled on in months - this is because I learnt to focus on only those who show absolute interest and not the wishy washy types who are slow to communicate and slow to arrange plans and show half hearted effort/interest.

The last person who cancelled on me like your date did ie. numerous times - I sent her a text saying something like "you lack respect for me as you have messed me around and been unreliable". Didn't hear from her after that.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #18  April 8,2011, 7:43am
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and you need to remember that (from my experience) the usual reason someone repeatly cancelled (especially at the last minute) is because you are a backup plan/someone better became available.
 
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USCPharmD is offline USCPharmD Post #19  April 8,2011, 8:28am
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Yasmin21 wrote :
I've decided to pull the plug on this one.

He's cancelled on me AGAIN by text AGAIN and I've had enough. He asked if I wanted to meet next week but quite frankly he can go and waste someone else's time. If he can't be bothered to make the effort now, he never will and I sure as hell don't intend to smile sweetly and let him get away with it!

As much as I would like to be in a relationship I value myself too much to put up with this half hearted complacent garbage.

Thanks for your input guys
Good for you. He was not that into you and you were his plan B. Us ladies tend to justify a lack of effort from a guy because we do not want to feel as if there is something wrong with us - he has a busy schedule, he is stressed with work, he has "things" going on his life, it cannot possibly be that he is not interested in me. First clue is the texting. Some say it is a generational thing, but he is in his mid-thirties so he should know how to dial a telephone to call someone. Also, he cannot commit to even a date which does not bode well for relationship potential. A man who is truly interested will pursue you and make time for you, busy or not, and will never leave you to wonder.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #20  April 8,2011, 4:56pm
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A few brief thoughts even though the hoo-ha is over.

1. There are people who are that busy, particularly junior lawyers in large firms in big cities.

2. Dating them sucks.

3 Marrying them is worse.

4. Find a nice plumber and tell him you prefer to hear his manly voice.




 
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