Ten Things Women Never Want to Hear on a First Date


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HoosierGB is offline HoosierGB Post #31  March 29,2011, 5:43am
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First off, since there are 2 people in a relationship, let's not just assume that if a man hasn't been in many relationships that he is the one with commitment issues. What if he kept going after women who had the commitment issues. This whole article makes it seem like the majority of women out there already know what they want and it's up to the guy to make the solidifying commitment. Not true. I think women put up a front of knowing what they want so they can come off with that "I'm a strong and independent woman" attitude. Why can't people just be themselves and not have to make things revolve around the over-scrutinizing media?
 
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HoosierGB is offline HoosierGB Post #32  March 29,2011, 5:51am
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Furthermore, I would rather be with a woman who is 30 and has had only 1 serious relationship, even if it was in high school (could careless), than a woman who is 30, has been in 10 relationships or has been married and divorced a couple times. I shouldn't have to settle on relationships just to have some fillers or experience under my belt to add to my dating resume. If men shall be pressured into having a decent dating history or resume, then shame on those women.

Dating is a process of meeting someone, getting to know them, find out their self-worth and if they are worth their time or not. Not a screening process/1st-round interview thing where if they don't meet the "he needs serious relationship history" part of the checklist they are bad news and have nothing to bring to the table. Women need to be more open-minded and spend less time reading a magazine and listening to what their friends think every time a guy enters the picture. Trust your own judgment because your own maturity speaks for itself.
 
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g211 is offline g211 Post #33  March 29,2011, 11:45am
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zork wrote :
Perhaps it's based on the theory that women want what other women want.
To me it mostly looks like: "make the first cut the deepest." Time-honored advice when faced with too many candidates.

As far as whether it's good or bad advice. There will always be problems and difficulties in a relationship, but if at FIRST GLANCE (i.e. on the first date) you see more problems than solutions . . . .

At best it reveals that they don't know a whole lot about what makes for a good first date.
 
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wade888 is offline wade888 Post #34  March 29,2011, 12:53pm
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I agree with Sarah Fell Down.I'm 30 years old and have never been in a serious relationship. What can I say? Everyone I was ever genuinely interested in either wasn't interested in me, or was already in a relationship.


To me, this generalization is ridiculous. What is eHarmony saying here? Women don't want a guy who has standards or commitment, but they'd rather date a guy who's already dated and (probably) slept with half the women in town instead? Having been in a previous relationship which failed is also potentially evidence of a problem in a person's life: Either they didn't know what they wanted till it was too late, or they hurt one another or whatever.


Well, I'm not going to make generalizations, because I've seen both sides, but I do have to admit, there are a LOT of women, even among those who would identify themselves as "conservative," who really do fall that way, but not all.Anyway, this standard is completely ridiculous and counter-productive.


If this is the standard of relationships, then nobody would be in a relationship, because everyone must start somewhere.If you're telling me a woman should reject me because I haven't been in a relationship, then I guess you're telling me to give up. Well, guess what eHarmony? I'm not giving up, and I don't need your WORTHLESS and ungodly advice either.


I'm not going to lie to someone and tell her, "Oh yeah, I have been in a long term relationship," either, because that would be even worse in the long term. So hey, if she is so shallow as to reject me because I haven't already been in that type of relationship before, then she can just keep on walking.


I wanted "the one" to be a unique experience with unique love, not just another person in a list. I don't have a "black book" and don't plan on having one. I am interested in marriage to one unique love, not goofy dating games and phone tag games and other pointless stuff so many people on these dating sites seem so worried about.


Here's a hint from the "amateur": If you're worried about whether you should call someone up at a certain time, DO IT. If they reject you, GOOD, get the heck away from them. If you have to worry about offending someone from calling them too early or some other similar nonsense, then they aren't mature enough to be wasting your time with them.


Anyone who has an extended family ought to realize by now that real successful relationships don't look anything like the canned advice you get on these sites.


I come from a family which has historically had very long, successful relationships and marriages of twenty, thirty, forty years or life, and I hope to have the same. I do not want my life to be a list of broken relationships, and I also don't see what "the one" would gain by me having been in one or more broken relationships, and here's what I know: The guys who started out "players" or just with a long history of relationships ended up cheating and divorcing later, as did the women.


The ones with little or no dating history prior to marriage ended up married for life. At least from my observations of family members, "Experience" does not help, and if anything it hurts future relationships.You would think that would actually be something good to tell a woman, you know, "Never been in a serious relationship," because at least then they'd know you aren't a player or swinger or something, but apparently a significant number of women like being played by polygamists while somehow calling that "committment". It isn't. He'll leave you just as fast as he left the previous one.


I know that I have a lot of love to give, and if a woman is going to reject me for what amounts to a completely irrelevant reason, then that's her loss.I also agree with some of the comments made by others.


People in our civilization are disecting one another too much. There are no perfect people. Choice is a good thing, but too many choices causes people to have un-realistic expectations about people. If someone is waiting on the perfect person, they'll die alone, that's for sure.
Last edited by wade888; March 29,2011 at 1:14pm.
 
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wade888 is offline wade888 Post #35  March 29,2011, 1:09pm
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Mr_Jones wrote :
So your advice to a man over 30 who hasn't been in a serious or long-term relationship is what? Lie or Give up?

Something is wrong with the formatting. I guess my previous post was too long.


I don't think eharmony has "advice". They just regurgitate idiotic rumors and stereotypes.


Of course, lying is wrong and would ruin the relationship in the long term anyway, so no, don't lie.


Just don't give up either. If a woman rejects you on this basis, she deserves to be single till she grows up some.


And I know that's just an idiotic stereotype, because I've already seen otherwise anyway in life, and I've seen some women give response here.


Sorry for the wall of text on my previous post, this board does not hold formatting the way I am used to. I don't know what went wrong.
 
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