online multi-dating is not my thing...


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  March 6,2011, 7:47am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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frogprince wrote :
You aren't dating. Talking online is not dating. Once you have been on a number of real dates and have been intimate is the time to talk about being exclusive and not multi-dating. Right now you basically have a pen pal. You need to be realistic about the situation.
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azrunner is offline azrunner Post #12  March 6,2011, 1:19pm
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Thanks for the feedback, all! I agree that one knows nothing until meeting in person and even one meeting is not enough.

I am planning on limiting my distance settings as I do think meeting ASAP is extremely important.
Last edited by azrunner; March 20,2011 at 9:23pm.
 
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azrunner is offline azrunner Post #13  March 6,2011, 1:25pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
...'accidentally"? ...really?

...as in, "I accidentally on purpose put his name in the address line of a message that looked like it was written to my sister in hopes of tricking him into an early exclusivity talk"?

Yeah, I suppose not ...because that's just crazy talk.
Yeah, believe it or not, it was an accident. I was super embarrassed. It wasn't a message I wanted him to see. I'm not into game playing...
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #14  March 6,2011, 4:35pm
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azrunner wrote :
Yeah, believe it or not, it was an accident. I was super embarrassed. It wasn't a message I wanted him to see. I'm not into game playing...
There is no worse feeling than thinking you've sent the email to the wrong person. Last year, I was going on a date with a guy who I had talked quite a bit to a friend about, and she had asked for a run down of the date. I got home and was so excited that I emailed her all the details right away - then I went to bed, and woke up in a panic thinking that I had accidentally emailed the guy instead! I jumped out of bed, logged back on to the computer, checked the email - and found that I had indeed emailed my girlfriend. Big sigh of relief.

I would hope that guys (or girls) would not think that women will "accidentally on purpose" send an email to the wrong person as some sort of game to feel out someone's interest level.
 
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azrunner is offline azrunner Post #15  March 6,2011, 7:20pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
There is no worse feeling than thinking you've sent the email to the wrong person. Last year, I was going on a date with a guy who I had talked quite a bit to a friend about, and she had asked for a run down of the date. I got home and was so excited that I emailed her all the details right away - then I went to bed, and woke up in a panic thinking that I had accidentally emailed the guy instead! I jumped out of bed, logged back on to the computer, checked the email - and found that I had indeed emailed my girlfriend. Big sigh of relief.

I would hope that guys (or girls) would not think that women will "accidentally on purpose" send an email to the wrong person as some sort of game to feel out someone's interest level.
I can just imagine how relieved you were. I was horrified. The guy did realize it was an honest mistake, and he did try to make me feel better about the whole thing. He has been less understanding about me not being able to communicate with him every night, so, although we are fb friends and in contact there, things are just not the same. I think it worked out for the best considering our circumstances...

Sending an email "accidentally on purpose" is something I've never even heard of.
 
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stayorgo is offline stayorgo Post #16  March 6,2011, 9:11pm
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The email to the wrong person panic is something I have frequently! So I feel for you there...

I can understand how you can feel attached, but I think the key to all of this is to remind yourself that none of this (even after the first 2,3, or even more actual dates) is real or very serious. You can't let yourself get too involved with someone too early, no matter how much you like them. It usually leads to disappointment in one arena or another. I think that's one of the most important things I've learned from the online dating experience.

It's different from real life in that it can be putting the cart before the horse so to speak... you can develop interest before the meeting and really getting to know the person, where as in real life its generally the other way around. In addition, there are a lot of options out there where as in real life, its usually a one by one situation. So easy to build up expectations if you're not careful...so don't think you're alone in this, just a lesson you have to learn!
 
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