Desperate Time for desperate measure


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Ethan14p is offline Ethan14p Post #1  March 5,2011, 4:17pm
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Ok,

To sum things up there is a pizza place by my house that i go to so often. For a while there has been a girl that works there that ive wanted to ask out. But for one, i dont even know her name. At this point in time i feel i should just give up because ive blown so many opportunities.

I know right now im definitly thinking too much and getting worked up.

But any time ive seen this girl she's always looking at me when im walking in and then quickly looking away if i look at her. Or she's watched me get into my car leaving the pizza place. I've made small talk with her and joked around with her making her laugh and what not.

She seems really shy, and ive tried to ask her name or get further but im all locked up when i see her.

Tonight was the worst.


I was going to ask her for her name but another girl rung me up. My girl was hanging out at the counter though listening. I panicked and asked if this kid i sorta know still works there. They said yes and i said ok thanks and scooted out the door.

But the look on "my" girls face read, She knows i wanted to talk to her but panicked instead and pulled out a dumb question like that to ask instead.

Am i too far gone? or is there still hope for me?

Help me please!

-Ethan
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #2  March 5,2011, 4:34pm
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The look on the girl's face was more likely disappointment that she was not the one ringing you up.

The question you asked was "brillinat", now look up the guy you kinda know who works there and get more information on the gilr you are interested in, starting with her name, ask him also, if he knows whether or not she has a bf.

You're doin fine, this is how its supposed to go , good luck!
 
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Ethan14p is offline Ethan14p Post #3  March 5,2011, 4:39pm
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LDJ wrote :
The look on the girl's face was more likely disappointment that she was not the one ringing you up.

The question you asked was "brillinat", now look up the guy you kinda know who works there and get more information on the gilr you are interested in, starting with her name, ask him also, if he knows whether or not she has a bf.

You're doin fine, this is how its supposed to go , good luck!


Well, the guy i sort of know works during the day they said. But there is this other guy that works there and ever since ive been going there he's been like hey dude whats up? and i ask the same. we dont know each others names but im kinda a regular so we say whats up. I have thought about talking to him.

But, i hope you're right that this is hows its suppossed to go. I feel like such a failure right now. lol
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  March 5,2011, 6:21pm
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I wish you luck. Girls that work in restaurants have every guy that walks in the door hitting on them.
 
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Divot is offline Divot Post #5  March 5,2011, 7:17pm
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You need to stop fixating on this one girl (who probably thinks you're creepy by now) and start talking to lots of girls everywhere.

As soon as you see a girl you need to approch her. There is a "three second rule". If you wait longer than three seconds you are going to talk yourself out of it and/or she is going to notice you and think you are creepy.

You need to have relaxed body language. Don't be tense when you are talking to them. Don't face them directly right away, face slightly away from them like you are about to leave. This is less threatening especially for attractive women who are used to being hit on.

You need to project confidence when you talk to them. Do this by trying your best not to care what happens when you talk to them. This will come with time but it really doesn't matter what some random girl thinks about you. No mater what happens be confident.

You need to simile when you talk to them but not in a cheesy used car salesman type of way.

There are different types of "openers" to get the conversation going:

Functional opener: : “Do you have a light?” or “Do
you know how to get to X Street / X Restaurant / X Place?” These are the easiest but they are also the hardest to transition into talking about something more meaningful.

Opinion opener: You're in a clothing store and ask "excuse me I'm looking for a gift for xyz (my sister, cousin, friend, etc) for her (event), what do you think?". In your case you could have asked her what she recommends at the restaurant.

Situational Openers: "What drink is that?/ Is that [celebrity name] over there?" Only ask these to a girl if you would ask them to anyone otherwise it's going to be painfully obvious you couldn't think of anything better to say.

Direct Openers: You are direct and basically tell her why you are talking to her. "You're cute, I wanted to come over here and say hello". You need to be very confident and friendly with these. I'd work up to them by getting used to speaking to a lot of random girls first.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #6  March 6,2011, 7:53am
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I would make a move.

I had a similar situation. I would go into this store and the cashier would seem to flirt with me and she was pretty, funny, outgoing, etc. My friend said I should ask her out but I never did. Then one time I was at a bar and she was there started hitting on me. But it turns out she was leaving the country in a week. I kind of showed disinterest to her at that point because I didn't want a one week relatinship.

But the point is I should have made a move month ealier and things could have turned out differently. Instead I was worried about bothering her where she worked. Unless this is a place you have to go to all the time there is no reason not to make the first move and try to get a date.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #7  March 6,2011, 8:39am
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I was a bartender for 11 years. I currently work in a very public position in a professional theatre. I have flirted with hundreds and hundreds of men over the years. I have only dated one of them.
Don't take it seriously at all, or even take it personally. That's how it works - I flirt, I laugh, you look forward to seeing me on your next visit because you feel special and interesting and charming. I did my job,and did it well. That's all.
 
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SweetKisses is offline SweetKisses Post #8  March 6,2011, 9:57am
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There's a pizzeria by my house that I go to every now and then. A few years ago, I walked in and saw this really beautiful guy behind the counter. I was instantly attracted to him. We exchanged casual words and the next time I went in, I saw him again and he flirted with me and asked me my name. I told him my name and asked what was his name, told him "I'll see you around", took my food and left. As it turns out, I had just started dating someone else and I felt a little guilty about flirting with this guy, so I stopped going to the pizzeria for a while. Of course, I never really stopped thinking about this guy and months later when I went back, I found that he no longer worked there. I've regretted never getting to know him every day since, so the moral of the story is: PLEASE JUST GO AHEAD AND TALK TO THE GIRL!!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  March 6,2011, 12:43pm
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you lack confidence. unless you are ultra confident you have no chance. these women get lots of attention from men.
 
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SweetKisses is offline SweetKisses Post #10  March 6,2011, 1:26pm
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
you lack confidence. unless you are ultra confident you have no chance. these women get lots of attention from men.
They get lots of attention from men they aren't interested in, for the most part. He seems to think that maybe she is interested in him, so it doesn't matter if he's not the most confident guy on the planet. Couldn't hurt to make a move on her. It's better to just do it and maybe get rejected instead of being left to wonder "what if?"
 
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