Age Difference...? What are your thoughts?


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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #21  March 1,2011, 6:06pm
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NoQuestion wrote :
Plus every girl wants to feel pursued...right?

And every guy wants to pursue only where warranted.

And avoid the sting of rejection.

So, having agreed you're at detente, what's the next step?
 
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NoQuestion is offline NoQuestion Post #22  March 1,2011, 6:15pm
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I have no idea. I don't want to just study with the guy forever (50 years later and we're still studying chemistry), but I feel like the odds are stacked against me being the (significantly) younger one of the two of us.
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #23  March 1,2011, 6:18pm
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NoQuestion wrote :
I have no idea. I don't want to just study with the guy forever (50 years later and we're still studying chemistry), but I feel like the odds are stacked against me being the (significantly) younger one of the two of us.
Actually, over time, the deck is definitely stacked in your favor, being younger.
 
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dbz77 is offline dbz77 Post #24  March 1,2011, 6:18pm
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NoQuestion wrote :
I have no idea. I don't want to just study with the guy forever (50 years later and we're still studying chemistry), but I feel like the odds are stacked against me being the (significantly) younger one of the two of us.
It does depend on life experiences.

Do you know him well enough to know if he is looking to be married soon.

I am 33 and am looking to be married soon. Dating someone ten years younger will not work out, on average, because women that age, on average, are not looking to be married soon.


Michael
 
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truth32 is offline truth32 Post #25  March 1,2011, 8:08pm
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You could just ask him, when he calls, if he'd want to do something before or after studying...maybe he will suggest something like dinner, or see a movie, etc...or you could. then you don't have to "tell him you like him"...you could just show interest..
 
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psgcooldog is offline psgcooldog Post #26  March 2,2011, 5:04am
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NoQuestion wrote :
My only reservations there are that it might be awkward going to class for the rest of the semester if he isn't interested and I tell him "what I want."
I've asked guys out before - some have worked, some haven't. So it's not that I'm afraid to put myself out there. But I know the consequences will be greater if it goes wrong this time.

Plus every girl wants to feel pursued...right?
I think it's already clear that he likes you. And as T32 said, no need for a "hearts and flowers" talk, just ask him to go take a stroll through the park, or grab lunch together, or something.

And of course he's got "ulterior motives". That's part of the "liking you" thing. The question is, does he have integrity as well, and perhaps an open heart?
 
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1quickslovak is offline 1quickslovak Post #27  March 2,2011, 6:00am
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Last year I dated a 19 year old pre med student. I was 23 at the time. She was young and energetic and that was part of the attraction. She was still new to the whole college thing and I was a rough and tumble senior working and going to screwl full time and just wanted out at that point.

I can see a 10 year age difference working out AFTER college, but we just weren't at the same stage in our lives. I was concerned with work and bills, while she was concerned with studying and what to do Friday night. We were both mature adults, but our concerns and focus were radically different. She was Cuban (they settle down/get married earlier than us europeans), so we both wanted to settle down; I don't think I would have ever dated a typical 19 year old.

Everyone says maturity is the most important thing with the age difference, but being in the same stage of life was just as important.
Last edited by 1quickslovak; March 2,2011 at 6:04am.
 
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NoQuestion is offline NoQuestion Post #28  March 2,2011, 4:20pm
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That's a very valid point^. Maturity does not mean we are at the same point in life. Adults can be equally mature but going through different stages of life.

However, I still asked him to get lunch.
No response yet.
I probably scared him - but that's when I say "carpe diem." No regrets.
 
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truth32 is offline truth32 Post #29  March 2,2011, 7:07pm
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NoQuestion wrote :
That's a very valid point^. Maturity does not mean we are at the same point in life. Adults can be equally mature but going through different stages of life.

However, I still asked him to get lunch.
No response yet.
I probably scared him - but that's when I say "carpe diem." No regrets.
definitely don't regret it thats the good thing about asking out to lunch/to do something INSTEAD of "talking about where it's going"...it doesn't have to be TOO awkward. if he doesn't respond, responds uninterested, you can always pretend like you don't care; like it was "just a friendly invite".

and if he DOES respond favorably; well, then you have your answer
let us know what he says either way...i'm curious
even if he says no, don't worry about it...at least now you know it is just studying.

also...how did you ask him? text?
Last edited by truth32; March 2,2011 at 7:08pm. Reason: question
 
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Rustman is offline Rustman Post #30  March 7,2011, 1:58am
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Personally, I don't give age differences a second thought (or even a first thought really). Is she a mature adult that I'm attracted to and enjoy spending time with? If the answer is yes, then no more questioning is needed as far as I'm concerned, whether she is 18 or 40 or somewhere in between.
 
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