What does a guy expect when he gives me his number?


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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #1  February 12,2011, 6:10pm
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Some questions in another thread (Who calls who first?) brought up more questions for me.

If a guy gives you his phone number, but doesn't ask for yours, I assume he expects you to call him.
Does he also expect you to ask him out?

Or, does he figure that once you call him, you can chat, and then he will ask you out?

Or, does the giving you his number part imply that he is not that interested, and doesn't plan to ask you out?

Then, why bother giving you his number?

Do guys not ask for girls numbers anymore because so many women these days are hesitant to give them out? (P.S. I am not)

Questions, frustrations....

And, you guys wonder why so many of us girls are so fond of the days when the guys did the calling and the asking...

Maybe I'm overthinking, but I really haven't dated anyone in so long, and now that I am diving back in, everything has changed. Help!
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #2  February 12,2011, 6:26pm
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Well, I can't speak as a guy but... I've experiences the whole gamut and I think it really comes down to every guy being different and expecting different things.

I've had guys ask for my number because they knew I wouldn't give them mine and wouldn't hear from me otherwise.

But when guys give me their number it is mostly because they know 1)Girls are more unlikely to not give out their own number.

2)It give the girl the control to call or not call if they want to. If the girl calls, it shows that she is interested. If she doesn't call, it shows that she is not. They don't want to waste time if you are not. If, she wants him to call her, she can always counter by providing her own number and telling him to call her. This also show interest, though not as much as if the girl calls him.

My last relationship started with the guy giving me his number first, not asking for mine, and basically said: Call me if you want to. It was his way of not pressuring me and letting me make the decision if I really want to pursue the relationship or not.

I called, we talked, we were nervous, it was cute . The next morning I texted him good morning. He was in cloud 9. I guess once I gave him enough proof that there was interest on my part, it was smooth sailing. From then on he took a much more "in-charge" roll in the relationship of asking out and stuff.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  February 12,2011, 6:38pm
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Many women don't want a man to have her phone number.

So, men, adapting to this, offer theirs instead.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #4  February 12,2011, 6:43pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Many women don't want a man to have her phone number.

So, men, adapting to this, offer theirs instead.
This being the case, they should make it clear that they are hoping to hear from her.
 
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JackAfrica is offline JackAfrica Post #5  February 12,2011, 7:51pm

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mitchell175 wrote :
Some questions in another thread (Who calls who first?) brought up more questions for me.

If a guy gives you his phone number, but doesn't ask for yours, I assume he expects you to call him.
Does he also expect you to ask him out?

Or, does he figure that once you call him, you can chat, and then he will ask you out?

Or, does the giving you his number part imply that he is not that interested, and doesn't plan to ask you out?

Then, why bother giving you his number?

Do guys not ask for girls numbers anymore because so many women these days are hesitant to give them out? (P.S. I am not)

Questions, frustrations....

And, you guys wonder why so many of us girls are so fond of the days when the guys did the calling and the asking...

Maybe I'm overthinking, but I really haven't dated anyone in so long, and now that I am diving back in, everything has changed. Help!
I NEVER give my number to a woman with the hope and intention that she will call.. I ask for her # and often her email .
The reason is simple -if she is interested she will hand me her email address and/or her phone # , eagerly .
IF she hems and haws or asks for my number promising to call me , I just say ," Nice to have met you and walk away." She is NOT interested .
 
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JackAfrica is offline JackAfrica Post #6  February 12,2011, 7:52pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Many women don't want a man to have her phone number.

So, men, adapting to this, offer theirs instead.
This kind of adaptation is a huge mistake.
Last edited by JackAfrica; February 13,2011 at 5:20am.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  February 12,2011, 11:34pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
Some questions in another thread (Who calls who first?) brought up more questions for me.

If a guy gives you his phone number, but doesn't ask for yours, I assume he expects you to call him.
Does he also expect you to ask him out?

NO

Or, does he figure that once you call him, you can chat, and then he will ask you out?

YES--if it goes well

Or, does the giving you his number part imply that he is not that interested, and doesn't plan to ask you out?

He is giving you his number but respecting your privacy by not asking for yours.

Then, why bother giving you his number?

Its up to you with your privacy.

Do guys not ask for girls numbers anymore because so many women these days are hesitant to give them out? (P.S. I am not)

Questions, frustrations....

And, you guys wonder why so many of us girls are so fond of the days when the guys did the calling and the asking...


I thought they still did.......

Maybe I'm overthinking, but I really haven't dated anyone in so long, and now that I am diving back in, everything has changed. Help!

You are over thinking...see my comments in blue above
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  February 13,2011, 3:16am
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Yes he expects you to call and yes it's courteous to reciprocate by providing yours........Why is that confusing when it is so simple and obvious?........Just call.........then he'll have yours........Done..Good Luck.......
mitchell175 wrote :
If a guy gives you his phone number, but doesn't ask for yours, I assume he expects you to call him. Then, why bother giving you his number?
 
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Lindac7 is offline Lindac7 Post #9  February 13,2011, 5:30am
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I think men these days are so confused about what women want (and not all women want the same thing), they feel safer giving the woman their number.

This way they don't risk rejection over the phone if he calls her to ask for a date. If the woman calls him, then at least he knows she's interested, so his risk of rejection is considerably lower.

I understand the logic, but I still think it's a mistake. Men are supposed to be the initiators, the ones working to win the prize. A man should ask a woman for her number, and make the initial phone call. What happens after that is up to the 2 of them. If a woman doesn't want the man to call her and won't give him her phone number, there's his answer right there. Simple - he can then move on.

What's the big deal?

The other side of this coin is that women need to be more clear when meeting a man whether they are interested in seeing him or not. The problem though is, women have been playing this stupid cat and mouse game for centuries, and they need to stop it. If they'd just make it clear to the man that they're interested, the man wouldn't be so fearful of rejection and would be far more comfortable asking for her number and asking for a date.
Last edited by Lindac7; February 13,2011 at 5:33am. Reason: typo
 
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OlderButWiser0549 is offline OlderButWiser0549 Post #10  February 13,2011, 6:24am
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ami1uwant wrote :
You are over thinking...see my comments in blue above
^^^^ I concur with ami1uwant's comments.

When I sense the time is right to initiate phone contact with a woman, I do it by giving her my number and saying I'd love to hear from you, or something similar.

It's always worked.
 
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