Question for Discussion: When do Dating Preferences become Racist?

Question for Discussion: When do Dating Preferences become Racist?

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Question for Discussion: When do Dating Preferences become Racist?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #51  April 1,2011, 5:42am
jimmyh452's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2011

Bean Town

Posts: 1,512

See profile

This article annoyed me to no end....God forbid people have personal preferences. Guess what? I don't date african american women. Guess what? I'm not racist. I'm just not attracted to them in general. Guess what? I'm not sorry for it. It's called preference.

this guy just assumes that she's using the word "Mexican" as a racial slur for all Latino people. You know what they say about assumptions...
 
  Reply With Quote
lizzy1999 is offline lizzy1999 Post #52  April 1,2011, 6:07am
lizzy1999's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2011

Posts: 319

See profile

I thought this article was bit too simplistic. However, I do believe that everyone has preferences. Key word: Preferences. I like moderately tall guys for instance. Or, I am not really attracted to Asian guys even though I'm Asian. However, I don't weed them out or automatically delete someone based on those preferences - not unless there is something else in their profile that is a dealbreaker.

I also believe that there is a fine line between preference and racism, though. When I realized I wasn't that attracted to Asian guys, I actually thought about it a lot to make sure it wasn't related to some kind of deeper issue. It's worth thinking about but in no way should anyone assume it is racism.

Racism is bigotry - hating/disliking someone based solely on the color of their skin or ethnicity. Big difference.
 
  Reply With Quote
jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #53  April 1,2011, 6:29am
jimmyh452's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2011

Bean Town

Posts: 1,512

See profile

well put Lizzy
 
  Reply With Quote
Maargen is offline Maargen Post #54  April 8,2011, 4:35pm
Maargen's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

Seriously, I have more doubts about this guy's ability to think than about this woman. American society has become so ridiculous, between trying to be politically correct, and a lack of critical thinking skills, that no one seems to know anymore the difference between noticing and acknowledging gender-driven, ethnic, racial differences, and judging these differences as inferior to one's own group. So this guy heard the word "Mexican" and went into a tizzy?? What a dope!

Why would a woman who was racist date 4 Mexican men?? Or even one!?

There is such a thing as Mexican culture, as opposed to American or Puerto-Rican or Italian or Polish or Japanese or Chinese culture!!

Whatever those cultural differences are, she found them to be incompatible with her own culture! This isn't just about food and language. Some of the differences have to do with how gender roles are defined, the way women are judged based on sexual behaviour, what the expectations are of husbands and of wives, relationships to parents and family....differences that can cause serious clashes between romantic partners! This seems like a very smart woman to me: one who didn't judge from the outside looking in, one who didn't judge from a single experience, but one who came to realize after repeated exposure to similar (presumably problematic) situations and mindsets from 4 different men, that these differences were cultural, and not due to the attitudes of just one guy. To say that her culture is incompatible with Mexican culture doesn't imply that either is better or worse than the other, and her openness in making a perfectly reasonable statement seems to show that she didn't feel she was saying anything bad about these guys. The guy she's dating needs to grow up and learn to think!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Would just like a little closure! | Dating | 3 Steps To Stop A Man From Withdrawing »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:41am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0