Six Signs You're Settling for Second Best

Six Signs You're Settling for Second Best

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Six Signs You're Settling for Second Best


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
DesertGirl87 is offline DesertGirl87 Post #1  February 1,2011, 3:45pm
DesertGirl87's Avatar

wishes physicians communicated better with their underlings.

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2011

Kingman, AZ

Posts: 6

See profile

How sad is it that I've experienced all of those in the last five years? You should probably add 'if you dream about locking yourself in the bathroom to avoid him, and wake up thinking it wasn't a dream...'
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  February 1,2011, 4:24pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

You could say the same thing about women.....

This is only pumping up the myth of not settling. What exactly is settling?

Everyone has faults or quirks...its a matter of dealing with those quirks.
 
  Reply With Quote
scully98 is offline scully98 Post #3  February 1,2011, 4:47pm
scully98's Avatar

like a cowgirl!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 3,063

See profile

here's one to add - if, during an argument, his face turns beet red and you find yourself hoping he'll croak of a heart attack on the spot...you might be settling for second best.

or, another for the list, you don't want to leave your dogs, so you stay with your husband longer t han you should. until you realized leaving the dogs is harder than leaving him.

(I divorced him, btw.)
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #4  February 1,2011, 5:18pm
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,392

See profile

scully98 wrote :

or, another for the list, you don't want to leave your dogs, so you stay with your husband longer t han you should. until you realized leaving the dogs is harder than leaving him.

(I divorced him, btw.)
Did you at least get to keep the dogs?
 
  Reply With Quote
seekerd is offline seekerd Post #5  February 3,2011, 6:40am
seekerd's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 182

See profile

Again, who wrote these dumb articles?
I must also add that these are very dangerous articles that portray marriage/committed relationship as a never ending bliss. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We all experience negative emotions at a moment of anger, but to dump our partners as second best because of those emotions? Dumb. And very dangerous. What gave each of us the idea that our partners do not experience similar emotions towards us sometimes? And how would we feel if they classify us as second best because of those emotions?
Negative emotions are normal in everyday life, and are not a basis of disparaging the blessings that God has brought into our lives. I have a really great job that pays me very well. Most times I enjoy my work, and I often look forward to getting to work. But at other times I would rather be on the beach in Hawaii, or on my bed sleeping. But I do thank God everyday that I have a job. I would be an ingrate to call my job "settling" or "second best" simply because of my fleeting, negative feelings.

At the best, the author(s) of these articles are doing a disservice to committed relationships everywhere and I think EH should call them to order. Nothing worth having ever comes cheap. Solid relationships are no exceptions. Jumping ship because things don't go our way is immature at least. Very dangerous at best.
EH can do better. They should stop writing these nonsensical junks in the name of dating advice.
 
  Reply With Quote
myusernamehere is offline myusernamehere Post #6  February 3,2011, 7:07am
myusernameher…'s Avatar

is awesome

Veteran

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 1,402

See profile

I agree, this is a stupid article.

#1 You are irrationally irritated by the "little stuff" your partner does.

#5 You pointedly decide to overlook your partner's flaws.

Everybody has flaws/quirks. If you're expecting someone without any, you're going to be single the rest of your life.

And what is up with these slide shows? I don't see why they couldn't have fit all this on one page.
 
  Reply With Quote
Rustman is offline Rustman Post #7  March 7,2011, 1:27am
Rustman's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 43

See profile

That comment about not racing a biological clock is garbage... you are damn right I'm racing a clock.  Someday I'd actually like to have kids of my own, but my dating pool is rapidly turning into single mom's who have no desire to have any.  Just because I'm physically capable of fathering children doesn't mean that I can; I'm going to blink and find that I'm 50 or 60, and unless I have about 7 zeros backing up my bank accounts that I can flaunt to actually pull someone that is still capable of having children, my chances of actually having a family are going to be absolutely nil.  The problem is that I want to do things the right way... date, love, marriage, family... in that order.  The people who sit around and tell me that it isn't a big deal... don't worry about time... you'll find love...its perfectly fine to find that someone later in life.. etc... are the same women I know who got knocked up young at things like drunken parties (some of them more than once), decided that they'd had enough kids, and THEN went searching for a real relationship.  Of course there is no biological pressure... thanks guys for the advice; you all are really awesome (sarcasm). 
 
  Reply With Quote
MaurizioDS is offline MaurizioDS Post #8  March 15,2011, 2:24am
MaurizioDS's Avatar

Joined: Mar 2011

Posts: 1

See profile

Real life isn't so cut and dried; people also have a right to be allowed their humanity.  Nobody's perfect, and dealing with others ALWAYS involves a certain degree of adaptation, and consideration.  This is one of the problems with many people in society; one strike, no matter how small, and you're out.  This is simply a manifestation of the fact that some people want a relationship, but aren't prepared to put forth any effort to make it happen.   Don't get me wrong; no one should have to tolerate pathological behavior, but when you have an instance where truly small things cause big problems, it's more likely the case that somebody needs to grow up, and grow a pair of shoulders.  Little things occupy little minds; it's sad if some let them destroy their relationships.    Entire volumes can be written on this topic, and my cat wants to play.... Peace and Love to all. MD 
 
  Reply With Quote
sickofstupidadvice is offline sickofstupidadvice Post #9  April 30,2011, 5:22pm
sickofstupida…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 1

See profile

What's dumb is that people see this as advice. It has nothing to do with relationships as much as it does with marketing. If they (EH) can convince people, they are not in the right relationship than they can sell them the service of helping them find the "right" person. EH wants to find as many reasons to get people to end their current relationships so they can make money finding them new, "better" relationships.
 
  Reply With Quote
livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  April 30,2011, 5:29pm
livenlearn's Avatar

Yay! spring has sprung.

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

cosmos

Posts: 3,439

See profile

Huh? Most people who are happy in their relationship wouldnt be reading the advice on this board anyway.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:39am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0