Do the "rules" for intimacy change once you've been married and divorced?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
chimerical is offline chimerical Post #71  July 5,2010, 9:34pm
chimerical's Avatar

is an albino axolotl.

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2009

Arkansas

Posts: 4,154

See profile

TXButtercup wrote :
And, from talking to guys that were trying to advise me as friends rather than date me, the poll results again are much more consistent with the phrase folks don't like (men feigning love to get sex and women giving sex to get love). What was their advice - male to a female friend they wanted to protect? Unanimously - wait.
(emphasis added)

Sometimes the advice of someone acting on a protective impulse is not necessarily what's best for you. If you don't want to get hurt, don't date, don't fall in love, don't have sex... Maybe you shouldn't even leave your house.

Obviously, I'm not being entirely serious, but I personally believe in taking risks, living life, and loving with all you've got instead of being careful, being safe, and saying, "Aha! He would've left me anyway!" when your cautious behavior frustrates and drives dates away... I'm not saying you have to give it up on the first date. I'm just saying that sometimes "playing it safe" is more about being afraid than about being wise.

(However, this could be my youth and inexperience talking... Feel free to disregard me!)

p.s. Yes, I know this thread is hella old... Oh, well.
 
  Reply With Quote
Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #72  July 6,2010, 6:05am

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2010

Massachusetts

Posts: 1,007

See profile

pearlmargie wrote :
Waiting for sex until after marriage is God's best plan, whether the partners have been married before, or not.

There may be social pressures to hop in the sack after a few dates with a new partner, but a Christian is accountable to God for every area of life, including sexual intimacy. God rewards those who are obedient to Him in this area.

Getting remarriaed is not necessarily a sin, but sex outside of marriage is sin. Plain wrong, regardless of the passion of the moment.

My vote is that rules for sexual intimacy never change. Sex is for hetrosexual married couples in their own marriage, only.
My vote is that sad pathetic retorts such as this that attack gays and condemn others for failing to see thier religious view need to realize that they are the vast minority and wrong.

It's time for those who use God in justifying everything they stand for but more importantly what they stand against, to wake up and realize that an intelligent well thought discussion is what most are looking for. Stop judging others based on your beliefs.

Decisions on sexual activity should be based upon your personal comfort level as to what is best for you, not based upon some fear mongering preaching. Be safe, ask your partner to be tested and give yourself the time you need to be comfortable.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #73  July 6,2010, 6:14am
jayhawkgirl's Avatar

is back to square one

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 405

See profile

Cape_Codder wrote :
My vote is that sad pathetic retorts such as this that attack gays and condemn others for failing to see thier religious view need to realize that they are the vast minority and wrong.

It's time for those who use God in justifying everything they stand for but more importantly what they stand against, to wake up and realize that an intelligent well thought discussion is what most are looking for. Stop judging others based on your beliefs.

Decisions on sexual activity should be based upon your personal comfort level as to what is best for you, not based upon some fear mongering preaching. Be safe, ask your partner to be tested and give yourself the time you need to be comfortable.
CC, I've been trying to figure out how to respond to that post ever since I read it....but you said exactly what I was thinking and said it perfectly, so now I don't need to. Thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
melman is offline melman Post #74  July 6,2010, 6:24am
melman's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

Cape_Codder wrote :
My vote is that sad pathetic retorts such as this that attack gays and condemn others for failing to see thier religious view need to realize that they are the vast minority and wrong.
There was no personal attack. But your post has been reported as a personal attack.

It is an ongoing problem in these forums, that all attitudes and opinions are allowed... except for anything based on religious principles. No matter how clearly and fairly the belief gets stated, without exception it gets attacked and shouted down and mischaracterized as judgmental and as a personal attack and etc.

I really wish this community was more tolerant of traditional points of view.
 
  Reply With Quote
ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #75  July 6,2010, 6:33am
ThePriestess's Avatar

It's a glow-in-the-dark compass ring, so you don't get lost.

Sage

Joined: Apr 2008

Canadian POW held in Florida

Posts: 16,000

See profile

pearlmargie wrote :
Getting remarriaed is not necessarily a sin, but sex outside of marriage is sin. Plain wrong, regardless of the passion of the moment.
It either is, or it is not ... the answer depends on the religious beliefs which are applied.

But religious beliefs vary on this issue. Just as they vary (though to a lesser degree) on whether or not sexual relations outside of marriage is wrong.

Hence, sexual relations outside of marriage is not necessarily a sin, through application of equivalent logic.
 
  Reply With Quote
Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #76  July 6,2010, 6:53am

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2010

Massachusetts

Posts: 1,007

See profile

melman wrote :
There was no personal attack. But your post has been reported as a personal attack.

It is an ongoing problem in these forums, that all attitudes and opinions are allowed... except for anything based on religious principles. No matter how clearly and fairly the belief gets stated, without exception it gets attacked and shouted down and mischaracterized as judgmental and as a personal attack and etc.

I really wish this community was more tolerant of traditional points of view.
The post was directly anti gay try reading with an open mind.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mary1184 is offline Mary1184 Post #77  September 6,2010, 12:44pm
Mary1184's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

Men, just treat ladies with respect. Ladies, just do The Rules! Then we won't have to worry about this; men will respect you and you won't have sex too soon.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #78  September 6,2010, 1:00pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

Mary1184 wrote :
Men, just treat ladies with respect. Ladies, just do The Rules! Then we won't have to worry about this; men will respect you and you won't have sex too soon.

It is not possible to "respect" people who follow someone else's "rules" - since such people are not thinking for themself, and thinking (competantly) for oneself is essential to earning respect.

Equating timing of sex with attaining or deserving "respect" is, further, both an error of fact, and a confusion over the meaning of knowledge.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lostintranslation is offline Lostintranslation Post #79  September 6,2010, 1:30pm
Lostintransla…'s Avatar

You need a nurse to save your life!

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

Melbourne Beach, Florida

Posts: 6,075

See profile

This originated in July of 2008... D_Lion... frogs don't live that long!
Last edited by Lostintranslation; September 6,2010 at 2:16pm. Reason: ZOMBIE THREAD!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« First Date Is Over. What To Do Now? | Dating | Video: What Not to Talk About on a First Date »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:38am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0