thoughts on online dating vs. the "old-fashioned" way?


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nick219 is offline nick219 Post #11  January 20,2011, 12:14pm
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I used to think there was a major dichotomy between my "online dating" and my "other dating", but the line between the two has increasingly blurred. Sometimes now when I think about a woman I've dated recently it takes me a minute or two to remember if I initially met her online or in-person.

I think technology is part of the reason for this. Whether I initially met the woman online or "in real life", chances are we got to know each other through email, facebook, texting, and dates. I guess if she happened to be a long-time friend it would be different, but it's been years since I've dated anyone who fell into that category.

Another thing further blurring the lines for me is that I've been matched on eh with several people I had previously met first "in real life". In a couple of cases they were even people I had already dated. This despite living in a large metro area where I've only been for a few years. It's a small world.

I guess the biggest difference in my mind is that online dates are still "blind dates" in that we have never met in-person prior to the first date. After a couple of dates I usually don't even think about that, though, and they're just women I know, same as if I had met them anywhere else.

I still want to know what cultural affinity is so I can answer the rest of the question, though.
Last edited by nick219; January 20,2011 at 12:22pm.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #12  January 20,2011, 12:54pm
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Have to echo some of the other posts - there is no such thing as online dating. All it is, is an introduction. It makes no difference whether you are introduced by a friend, a host at some social event, through sports, hobbies, other activities or even a random encounter somewhere. What will determine your success with that person is compatibility and a mutual desire to date each other.

Think about it. You go to a social function and someone says, "Oh, you've got to meet Bill, you have some interests in common." What happens after that is entirely between Bill and you. A computer does the same exact thing - "Bill meet Jill, you've got some stuff in common." What happens after that is entirely up to the two of you. Maybe you like each other and it works and maybe not. Where people fail is that they treat the online thing like it's something different when it's not.
 
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Bijou13 is offline Bijou13 Post #13  January 20,2011, 1:11pm
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Online dating is just a tool to meet new people and hope there is a connection. How many times has someone said "this guy is perfect for you" and when you meet he's a complete a**hole or something? I think when other people try to introduce people, they assume they know enough to pair them with someone. And yes, some are good matchmakers. But honestly, my mom or even my sis would not choose a guy I would be interested in.

Online dating gives us a glimpse of the person, their personality, their interests; and then its up to the both of them to decide if the attraction is there. Doesn't matter how they found each other, just the fact that they did.
 
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keepitreal4love is offline keepitreal4love Post #14  April 2,2011, 3:52am
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Agree with mitchell...the problem online is everyone is too picky and they act like they're picking a watermelon from a wagon of a 1000. Online people filter out a hundred matches with 2 clicks of the mouse. If you met those same 100 hundred people in real life odds are there would be at least a few you would like. It's like the women on match that filter out every guy that isn't at least 5'11'' tall...seriously? Like if you met a decent 5'10'' guy in real life you're going to worry about an inch..cmon already.
 
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keepyourchinup is offline keepyourchinup Post #15  April 2,2011, 4:40am
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My experience is the opposite. After 15 years of dating in real life and never finding anyone with multiple set ups with friends that were usually disappointing, I started online dating. I met my current guy within a few weeks. I realize that this is just my experience and not the norm, and I would never suggest people stop trying to meet people oter way but for me it has been much more successful.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #16  April 2,2011, 4:54am
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As others have said online dating sites are just a method of introduction.

My experience meeting people "the old fashion way" is dismal. I have only met one girl IRL and that was in high school, had known her for a year before I asked her out. Only had one date. Have only been introduced to different girls three times back in my late 20s. Two of those introductions were disasters of biblical proportions right from the word "hello". The other one went nowhere beyond two dates. One was by a girl who I had grown up with and had know me for about 25 years at that time. So much for meeting people "the old fashioned way" and cultural affinity. At least with online dating sites I did get some dates even though it seldom lead to more than a first date and never to anything long term.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #17  April 2,2011, 4:59am
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What does it matter? ...online, offline ...success/ failure is *all* about physical attraction.

"Cultural Affinity" goes into the file marked, "stuff people say they think matters (because it justifies their own success/failure) ...but it really doesn't".
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #18  April 2,2011, 5:05am
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nick219 wrote :
I still want to know what cultural affinity is so I can answer the rest of the question, though.
Cultural affinity is having many things in common with the people that you hang out with.

As used in this thread it is the belief that your family and friends are going to know your values, likes and dislikes. Because someone else in their circle also spends time with them that they similarly know that persons values, likes and dislikes. Therefore they will associate their perception of who you are with their perception of who someone of the opposite sex is and when they think the two of you are compatible then they will introduce you.
 
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