The Biggest Mistake Women Make In Dating, And What To Do Instead

The Biggest Mistake Women Make In Dating, And What To Do Instead

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The Biggest Mistake Women Make In Dating, And What To Do Instead


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americaninfrance is offline americaninfrance Post #1  January 17,2011, 1:25pm
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YES! couldn't agree more. Girls, we should always have a few guys on teh back burner to keep us busy and to divert our attention away from the guy we REALLY see a future with. it keeps him interested while we aren't being to stalky with him!
 
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beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #2  January 17,2011, 1:29pm
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I feel dishonest about seeing more than one guy at a time.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #3  January 17,2011, 2:19pm
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What a goofy article. If someone really approaches dating with the attitude that someone is their "only hope," even multidating can't help. It's like trying to cover up stank with Axe. The desperation won't be gone, just camouflaged.

How about advice like, "have a fulfilling complete life that you enjoy, then make space in it for someone as is reasonable given time and commitment." I.e. don't prioritize someone who is a practical stranger over prior commitments (like plans with friends, work deadlines, etc).

Common sense, yeh? Rather than switching neediness out for manipulation
Last edited by lunabeach; January 17,2011 at 2:25pm.
 
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Pilgrim007 is offline Pilgrim007 Post #4  January 17,2011, 2:22pm
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americaninfrance wrote :
YES! couldn't agree more. Girls, we should always have a few guys on teh back burner to keep us busy and to divert our attention away from the guy we REALLY see a future with. it keeps him interested while we aren't being to stalky with him!
I am not so sure about the article. It talks about “It's about making you the chooser...not the chaser”. I do not know an exact percentage but the women I know choose and do not waste time chasing. It may be what the media wants to portray but I do not see it very often in real life.

AmericanInFrance, I have no problem with this so long as you do not mind your SO keeping girls “on the back burner to keep [him] busy”. You know what we men mean by “busy” .

Just remember it is never exclusive until you both agree it’s exclusive .

YFR
 
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Pilgrim007 is offline Pilgrim007 Post #5  January 17,2011, 2:27pm
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lunabeach wrote :
What a goofy article. If someone really approaches dating with the attitude that someone is their "only hope," even multidating can't help. It's like trying to cover up stank with Axe. The desperation won't be gone, just camouflaged.

How about advice like, "have a fulfilling complete life that you enjoy, then make space in it for someone as is reasonable given time and commitment." I.e. don't prioritize someone who is a practical stranger over prior commitments (like plans with friends, work deadlines, etc).

Common sense, yeh? Rather than switching neediness out for manipulation

LB,

Great points as usual
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  January 17,2011, 2:36pm
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americaninfrance wrote :
YES! couldn't agree more. Girls, we should always have a few guys on teh back burner to keep us busy and to divert our attention away from the guy we REALLY see a future with. it keeps him interested while we aren't being to stalky with him!

This stuff may work in France, but not for me.

I would not accept a woman who did this to me - as either her "primary" or her "backup."

This is one of a number of actions that make a person too-high-risk to commit to.
 
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asperone is offline asperone Post #7  January 17,2011, 2:43pm
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I do agree that it is much easier to downplay red flags if you limit yourself to just one person too quickly. In addition, dating exclusively too soon is like chosing a college without visiting it or exploring other options, which may fulfill even more of your criteria, but be far less expensive on your wallet. On the surface a man can seem perfect, but it is not until you really understand how he functions in multiple situations and in comparison to how others might handle that situation, do you tap into what you really desire from a man on your most intimate level. I have no shame in dating and being wined and dined by multiple men as long as I am honest with them. Life is much more interesting when we surround ourselves with people who interest us in different ways...and besides, why rush into  intimacy (often only to be disappointed a few months later) until you find that one who truly deserves you?
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #8  January 17,2011, 3:08pm
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lunabeach wrote :
What a goofy article. If someone really approaches dating with the attitude that someone is their "only hope," even multidating can't help. It's like trying to cover up stank with Axe. The desperation won't be gone, just camouflaged.

How about advice like, "have a fulfilling complete life that you enjoy, then make space in it for someone as is reasonable given time and commitment." I.e. don't prioritize someone who is a practical stranger over prior commitments (like plans with friends, work deadlines, etc).

Common sense, yeh? Rather than switching neediness out for manipulation
Too funny...good anaolgy Luna!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  January 17,2011, 3:16pm
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asperone wrote :
...I have no shame in dating and being wined and dined by multiple men as long as I am honest with them....
Assuming these multi men you date pay based on your "being wined and dined" comment - are you really honest and tell them that while they are wining and dining you at their expense you are multi tasking with other men?


beccaf87 wrote :
I feel dishonest about seeing more than one guy at a time.
please don't ever change!
Last edited by SteveManchesterEngland; January 17,2011 at 3:20pm.
 
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StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #10  January 17,2011, 3:23pm
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Soooo I should refuse to commit until 'he' does? What if he's playing the same game? I guess we'll both be eHarmony members forever, eh?
 
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