Changes the game plan enroute!


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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  January 7,2011, 1:14am
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This popped into my head while going through some recent threads.

What would you do if your new date (first or second date) asked you to go to a casual diner/pizza parlor/hole in the wall/etc. and while driving there they decide they want to instead go to a more fancy restaurant (surf & turf, new age fusion, high end sushi, etc)? You're not dressed for anything more than a casual date. You barely brushed your hair (guys and girls) or put on make-up (girls), because this was supposed to be a casual night.

Would you quietly go along because "they're paying", what do you care where you eat?

Scream "No way!" I'm dressed for Bob's Pizza, not Le Petit Maison!" And order them to take you home.

Say "Great! I've always wanted to try that place."

Jump from the moving vehicle?

What if they changed their mind but didn't tell you until they pulled into the parking lot of the newly chosen restaurant?
 
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winn is offline winn Post #2  January 7,2011, 1:26am

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Knowing me, I'd probably go along with the change of plans but tell my date that I'd appreciate knowing beforehand next time so that I would be appropriately dressed. Generally I'm pretty flexible to changes in plan and was married to a man who liked to occasionally just hop in the car and start driving without telling me our final destination. We'd often arrive somewhere inappropriately dressed but the adventure was often worth it.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  January 7,2011, 3:01am
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I don't do expensive first dates, so I'd resist the change (unless she had a coupon !)
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #4  January 7,2011, 8:06am
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I'd probably make a joke about it 'sure i'll go, as long as they don't kick me out for being underdressed!' or something like that, but I'd have no problem going along with the change in plans.
Now if they said nothing but just pulled into thte parking lot of the new place, i'd be annoyed.
 
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Singlencooking is offline Singlencooking Post #5  January 7,2011, 8:12am
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No offence to any woman but I have hardly come across any woman taking lead in setting up dates with me. Usually I am the one doing (expected to do) that. Most women do not find me worthwhile to initiate contact or organize something.

Hence, the situation looks like a bizarre incident to visualize.

Still let me see. If we were driving together to a casual place and she expresses her desire to go to a more sophisticated place - I would say "Look at me. I would be really out of place. Can this wait till next time?". If she still insists, I would give in
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  January 7,2011, 9:49am
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I wouldn't scream! but I'd say "no I'm not dressed for that ... another night ok?"

But what if he then insisted? Now we have a control struggle going on. Sigh.
 
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tinaroonie is offline tinaroonie Post #7  January 7,2011, 3:22pm
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I'd go with the flow. But I'd be annoyed that they didn't warn me while I was still home to change into appropriate attire. I'm very flexible, so if it was just a little more upscale, and what I'm wearing didn't matter, I would totally be up for it. But not the surprise of showing up in the parking lot of the new restaurant without fair warning.
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #8  January 7,2011, 3:27pm
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Say "Great! I've always wanted to try that place! But do you think they'll let us in dressed like this?"
 
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beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #9  January 7,2011, 3:28pm
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I try to go with the flow as much as possible. I had a last minute date on Wednesday night because I didn't want to wait until next week to see my guy. I thought I had a full change of clothes in my car. When I got to his place to change I found I only had a change of tops. I had to wear my scrub pants out to dinner! I didn't really care though. He actually liked that I was comfortable enough to still go out.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  January 7,2011, 3:38pm
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I will probably be wearing jeans, which is what I wear to even quite expensive restraurants, so that aspect is not a concern.

If my partner has indicated they're paying, then they have the right of choice, so that is minimally a concern.

I might push back if the place was unsuitable (too loud, too far away, or otherwise uncomfortable or inconveniant for some reason.)

I am most likely to push back at something dissapointing, not something better.
 
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