Great date and then he......


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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #21  November 27,2010, 12:15am
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boschimsp wrote :
Unless I am missing something I'm not seeing how in her post she references things that would lead us to believe that she is pushing for commitment now or opposed to multidating.
Same here. Seems like everyone in this thread is implying that for some reason. She's just concerned of the "he's just not that into you" case, which could very well be. If it were my situation, that is what I'd assume too. If someone is really into you, whether it be the 1st or 10th date, it's not very likely they'd be updating photos. It means that they are expanding their options.

Someone else mentioned in this thread that when they do it, it is of no reflection to the person that they are dating-rather they are simply looking for the "one." That seems strange to me. If the person you were dating seemed like they could be "the one" why keep playing the field? I'd think you would prefer to spend your time focusing on that person instead of your profile.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #22  November 27,2010, 8:17am
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LoveSong wrote :
Same here. Seems like everyone in this thread is implying that for some reason. She's just concerned of the "he's just not that into you" case, which could very well be. If it were my situation, that is what I'd assume too. If someone is really into you, whether it be the 1st or 10th date, it's not very likely they'd be updating photos. It means that they are expanding their options.

Someone else mentioned in this thread that when they do it, it is of no reflection to the person that they are dating-rather they are simply looking for the "one." That seems strange to me. If the person you were dating seemed like they could be "the one" why keep playing the field? I'd think you would prefer to spend your time focusing on that person instead of your profile.
Thanks LoveSong, that is exactly where I am coming from. Sorry if I wasn't really clear. At this point I am not checking on him or looking for commitment or exclusivity. But updating his main photo, makes me think he is definitely trying to expand his options and if he is doing that, I can't help but think "he is just not that into me". And I would be wise not to invest much time or energy into getting to know him. If I am jumping to the wrong conclusion, please let me know. Thanks!
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #23  November 27,2010, 8:42am
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As soon as I exchange personal e-mail addresses, or phone numbers with someone, I close them out on Eh. This makes everything so much easier and if they ask me why I closed them I tell them the truth - because we don't need to use Eh anymore; we have faster,easier ways. I'm not sure why anyone would want to keep checking on someone's Eh activity (or any other site for that matter). If he's going to be into you, you will know it. Likewise if he is not. Time will give you all the answers you need and three dates is not much time at all. And honestly, less time worrying about what he may or may not be thinking/feeling and more time living your own life in meaningfull, enjoyable ways will give you better returns.
 
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LoveSong is offline LoveSong Post #24  November 27,2010, 10:33am
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itsabeatutifulday wrote :
Thanks LoveSong, that is exactly where I am coming from. Sorry if I wasn't really clear. At this point I am not checking on him or looking for commitment or exclusivity. But updating his main photo, makes me think he is definitely trying to expand his options and if he is doing that, I can't help but think "he is just not that into me". And I would be wise not to invest much time or energy into getting to know him. If I am jumping to the wrong conclusion, please let me know. Thanks!
If it were me, I wouldn't invest "all" or "too much" of my energy into him, but I also wouldn't disregard him. Keep your options open, just like he is doing. If you like him and he likes you, there is no need to stop getting to know him. Let nature take its course. But don't cut off any ties to anyone else in the process.

Updating photos makes a statement. Unfortunately it is not one in your favor. He does not need to add photos to impress you at this point. You already saw what he looks like in real life. He is doing it to be more noticeable to others. I wouldn't go as far to say that "he isn't into you" though. Personally, I wouldn't feel too good if someone updated photos after a date. But at least you know how things stand a little bit.
 
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