need advice for meeting woman/dating

I've been having trouble meeting anyone as of late

While I'm generally considered better looking than most of my friends, it's been difficult for me to meet people, perhaps because I'm shy and self conscious.
Because of my erratic behavior in the past I've driven away a lot of girl and guy friends alike, so I've messed up a lot of connections, which of course makes it more difficult to meet girls ha.

I've been in bands, one of which almost really got going, but personal issues killed it, and now I'm trying to make a real attempt to make it with my new band(as writer, guitar/bass, and back up vocals). But regardless of all the available girls that seem to appear whenever a band starts getting momentum, I just kind of want to meet a nice sweet girl who hasn't been sleeping with hundreds of guys in bands.
I was kind of a loser in high school(although I did have some girlfriends) so I never really had that kind of simple naive relation ship I always wanted, I always wanted to date a cute dorky girl with self respect, who thought about things a lot, questioned the status quo, and didn't buy into mainstream america's BS standards for woman, alas that wasn't to be. But I still want it bad, a friend, a lover, who thinks...

But it just seems like I'm never going to be able to come across her, I always kinda thought maybe I could meet a girl like that. But with out the right connection how do I do it? Do I just get my new band on its feet and pray someone likes me for me, not just because they like the band, I just want that kind of innocent romance that I never had.....

this is coming from a guy who lost his virginity and had his first kiss on the same night, I hate america's fixation with sex over personality, and all these pornographic ideas that have been planted in peoples head, I always wanted romance in it's purest sense

I probably sound full of myself and pretentous, and if I don't I prolly sound pathetic, I'm sorry I just want something meaningful for once, so just try and tell me where to go and how to meet the kind of woman I want to I guess, ha. Girls who believe in something and believe in themselves...ya know

I'm 20 going to college live with my parents, and the transition between high school and college has been awkward to say the least, Don't feel like a man, don't feel like a boy

and only older woman seem to have any interest in me these days, I just want someone my age

You are going to have to clean up your act if you know mean. Your going to school is a great start.
Your music doesnt have to go. The image might.

Now, if you really want to attract the chicks, consider switching to country music.