First phone conversation tomorrow


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kikigirl123 is offline kikigirl123 Post #1  November 9,2010, 3:46pm
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Hi guys!

I'm having the first phone conversation with a match tomorrow, and I expect that he'll suggest a meet (if there is phone chemistry and the conversation flows easily). He lives about 2 hours from me, and would be doing the driving (honestly, with a two hour driving distance, asking to meet half-way would be a turn off).

Now to my question... if said meet were to occur, what would work best? Does the standard coffeeshop meet still stand or should it be a more "consistent" meetup because of the distance factor? On one hand, I don't feel like planning a series of things to do on a first meet is a great idea. It should be for first impressions no?! On the other hand, I feel like someone driving two hours is quite the sacrifice, and I should be buying lunch or something...

thoughts?

Thanks
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  November 9,2010, 4:04pm
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Hmm...haven't heard of 'phone chemistry'...LOL..but hey...if you have found that before...

I am just not that great on the phone...I get more tongue-tied...and if I think the guy is cute..all giddy and such...haha...so I usually tell my dates this so they don't put too much stock in the phone call and hope they save their decision when they meet me

Why would meeting a guy half way be a turn off? Why should he have to do all the driving to see you? Just curious..

For me...if he is offering to drive that way..then paying for a lunch at least would be the best thing...Also..it would be nice to have something planned to walk around...like museums..or some activity....that way he can not have to be sitting all day...

Usually I would say a first meet be not too lengthy....but with the distance..it would be good to have the 'day' planned to see each other if he is game...that way..you can also get more of a feel of if you are match to do the long distance thing..
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #3  November 9,2010, 4:05pm
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Consider it a 'meet' rather than a date, and keep it simple. Some people prefer a coffee date for an hour or so; others prefer a meal.

Ingy and I posted at the same time, but I'll also ask the question: just out of curiosity, why is it a turnoff to meet him halfway on the distance? If you hit it off, will you expect him to drive to you every time?
 
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kikigirl123 is offline kikigirl123 Post #4  November 9,2010, 4:15pm
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I definitely like "playing fair", and would gladly drive to his place for the next meet. It's just that we live in two average-size cities, and between us, there is nothing but small town and off-road greasy joints! I would understand meeting half-way if the distance were longer/there were suitable spots in between. Personally, I think driving an hour to the middle of nowhere for a date is not as enjoyable as going to the other person's town/staying in one's town where at least one person can know his/her way around.

But yes Ingy, your suggestion to have a day "planned" sounds good! I am particularly bad with food/first date and would like to something in addition to that so the only time we have isn't while trying to stuff one's face while looking respectable

Tipitina, yup. It also depends on how much time he has allocated for the day But all being said, a two-hour drive for a cup of coffee seems like "not enough" unless the two people literally repel each other!
 
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kikigirl123 is offline kikigirl123 Post #5  November 9,2010, 4:29pm
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About "phone chemistry", I meant no drawn out silences, good and reciprocal conversation, no red flags"...

The word chemistry has become meaningless lol...there must be "laughing chemistry", "coughing chemistry", "sneezing chemistry", etc...
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #6  November 9,2010, 4:30pm
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kikigirl123 wrote :
About "phone chemistry", I meant no drawn out silences, good and reciprocal conversation, no red flags"...

The word chemistry has become meaningless lol...there must be "laughing chemistry", "coughing chemistry", "sneezing chemistry", etc...

LOL....Ahh..thanks for explaining...
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #7  November 9,2010, 6:21pm
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I agree with planning something more than just coffee. It doesn't have to be elaborate or anything.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  November 10,2010, 4:19am
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Two hours is too far for just a coffee meet-up. I would suggest a lunch thing and have some kind of activity in mind in the event that you want to spend more time together.
 
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kikigirl123 is offline kikigirl123 Post #9  November 10,2010, 2:45pm
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One Sat/month, the symphony orchestra in my city gives a free Bring Your Own Bag lunch concert in the cultural district (noon-1 PM). From what we've discussed so far, he seems to appreciate art events, so this is something that may work. An hour of entertainment, then lunch afterwards (my treat), and if there is a connection, stroll through the cultural district.

I thought about museums, art exhibitions, but I did not want to create the obligation of "she paid for the tickets, so I just have to be polite and go through this". At least with a free casual event that both people would enjoy, there is no pressure on anyone.

Thoughts??
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  November 10,2010, 3:17pm

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just have a nice dinner. If you live in a place where the weather is nice meet in a nice public part of the town you can walk around then get lunch. no, don't do coffee.
 
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