Guys, when you say you're really interested in a woman and that you will call her, do you mean it?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
LaBellaNYC is offline LaBellaNYC Post #1  October 24,2010, 7:24pm
LaBellaNYC's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 21

See profile

Long title, I know lol. But here are the stats:
Met a very nice man on a site. We started conversing via email and then spoke on the phone for over an hour. Made plans to meet up on a date and we did. Got a chance to talk some more and found out that we had similar interests and a lot of things in common, and for the most part, he seemed genuinely attracted to me. Kept holding my hand as we walked and talked by this very scenic park or just kept looking at me with a smile and commenting on how beautiful I am and how glad he was we got to meet. After our date, he would either call or send me a text once a day. He kept mentioning that he would like to see me again, and that he will call soon, but then about 3 days passed and I had not heard from him. I decided to reach out to him and once again he expressed his interest, but then we had to cut the conversation short as he was heading in to work.

My question then is, should I broach the topic of planning our second date, or should I wait for him to do so? I'm a bit antsy because it's all still so new and I'm still trying to figure out if he's really sincere or if he's just saying the things he thinks I want to hear, but maybe is not interested? Honestly, we have only been talking for going on 2 weeks now, but just felt as if we hit it off pretty well.

Just a bit confused and anxious. Any advice/comments will be appreciated. thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #2  October 24,2010, 8:37pm
penpen2's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Toronto, Canada

Posts: 233

See profile

Hiya!

How interested are you in him?

If this does not strike you as odd, if you're interested, just ask him out to something. If he flakes, you know he's not been saying what he feels. Fakers show their true selves soon enough.

If you aren't really that interested, just let him drop on his own.
 
  Reply With Quote
LaBellaNYC is offline LaBellaNYC Post #3  October 24,2010, 9:06pm
LaBellaNYC's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 21

See profile

Hi penpen2,

No actually what you suggested does not sound weird at all
I am very interested in him, so I guess there would be no harm in asking him out and seeing whether he's being real or fake.

Thanks for the input!
 
  Reply With Quote
penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #4  October 24,2010, 9:11pm
penpen2's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Toronto, Canada

Posts: 233

See profile

That's the spirit! Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #5  October 24,2010, 10:49pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

Dont over analyze this.

I cant tell what sort of time line it was when you went out till now.

He is still talking to you so he is interested in you...BUT...dont assume he is only dating you.

If you are wondering about getting together with him...you should bring it up to him.

How far apart are you two in terms of miles...how cmmon or opposite are your work schedules? those are other factors in trying to schedule the next date. He may have had plans set up for this past weekend a few months ago.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  October 25,2010, 4:04am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

You are in danger of coming across as desperate and clingy. He told you he is interested, you already contacted him about it and he told you once again that he is interested and will get back to you when he can. At this point, I would stop if I were you or you will freak him out. He knows that you want to see him, he knows how to reach you - the balls is in his court. If he does not reach out to you, he wasn't that interested after all. Don't go chasing too hard.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  October 25,2010, 4:11am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,301

See profile

When someone makes promises they don't keep, it's not a good sign. I think your assessment below is accurate.
LaBellaNYC wrote :
Made plans to meet up on a date and we did.

After our date, he would either call or send me a text once a day. He kept mentioning that he would like to see me again, and that he will call soon, but then about 3 days passed and I had not heard from him.

I decided to reach out to him and once again he expressed his interest, but then we had to cut the conversation short as he was heading in to work.

he's just saying the things he thinks I want to hear, but maybe is not interested?
 
  Reply With Quote
LaBellaNYC is offline LaBellaNYC Post #8  October 25,2010, 6:53am
LaBellaNYC's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 21

See profile

@ami1uwant: I really am trying my best not to over-analyze the situation at hand too much. In terms of the time frame, all of this is taking place within a 2 week span - meeting, first date, waiting to schedule second date etc.
We actually live in the same neighborhood, so it's only about a 10 min drive if so much and we work generally in the same area too. But you are right in pointing out that I must not assume that I am the only one he is dating.

@dancingfool: thank you for keeping it real and trying to keep me grounded. That is exactly what i don't want to come across as, clingy and desperate. But after coming across a couple of frogs, believe me, it was a bit refreshing to meet someone like him and yes I will admit, I got a bit excited and ahead of myself. That is why I wanted to get some feedback.

@wiseman2: I guess the verdict is still out there on whether he is or is not a man of his word. I don't want to be the type that needs to hear from a person every single day to validate that he's still into me, or I can hope I don't turn into that person. Reason that I'm a bit leery is just due to past experiences with an ex who turned out not to be a man of his word, so I guess that is what is raising all these questions that I ask
 
  Reply With Quote
EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #9  October 25,2010, 7:19am
EMTZ's Avatar

has quickly adapted back to her lazy lifestyle

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 2,553

See profile

LaBellaNYC wrote :
@dancingfool: thank you for keeping it real and trying to keep me grounded. That is exactly what i don't want to come across as, clingy and desperate. But after coming across a couple of frogs, believe me, it was a bit refreshing to meet someone like him and yes I will admit, I got a bit excited and ahead of myself. That is why I wanted to get some feedback.
I agree with DancingFool completely and believe that it is much more likely to turn a possible future prince into a frog if a woman comes across as clingy and desperate. Like DancingFool mentioned, you have already shown him you are interested in him so please do not contact him anymore. It is now his turn to show you that he is interested in you. Otherwise, he's probably not. This is why I meet many people in the early stage of dating so that I am not too focused or attached to just one person. When you date enough people, three days will seem to pass much more quickly so you won't get too anxious, excited, or ahead of yourself.

Play it cool and make him participate in dating you.
Last edited by EMTZ; October 25,2010 at 7:26am.
 
  Reply With Quote
LaBellaNYC is offline LaBellaNYC Post #10  October 25,2010, 7:42am
LaBellaNYC's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 21

See profile

Good advice EMTZ. It definitely would not be my intention to turn him away by appearing desperate and clingy. So I will try my best to play it cool and let him also participate (if he wants to!)
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Uncertain situation - help! :) | Dating | Decoding messages »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:14am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0