The woman asks YOU out - good or bad?


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afriendly is offline afriendly Post #1  October 24,2010, 10:44am
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thinks things are bewildering and weird!

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I messaged this girl on another dating site. In my opinion, very attractive, very articulate, and warm and friendly. Since I've messaged like 50 or so women, she's was the only one who responded. Initially thought it was a thanks, but no thanks, but we emailed each other twice and in her last email she suggests we meet for coffee or tea. Normally, I would take this as a good sign, but some one said she could be a serial dater. Which, I can understand, but in my experience, serial dater or not, they wait to be asked out, not the other way around. No? Usually, when the woman asks you to a first meet, it means they are interested in you? Not just for free coffee or tea.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #2  October 24,2010, 10:45am
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I don't know why I'd see someone that's interested in you as a bad thing.

Quit looking for all the negatives when you have a positive.
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #3  October 24,2010, 10:50am
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afriendly wrote :
Not just for free coffee or tea.
Please tell me you're kidding...

You seem really sweet (from the few posts I've seen here so far)... why haven't you asked her out? Maybe she doesn't want to spend weeks chatting it up, but really don't think she's after a free cup of coffee...
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #4  October 24,2010, 10:50am
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I ask people out when I'm interested, ready to meet and I think he's taking too long to ask.

Go, enjoy yourself and quit overanalyzing every opportunity.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  October 24,2010, 10:56am
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In my experience, this is good news.

I'd pass on the coffee and meet for dinner. If I had this message Friday or Saturday, before I started preparing dinner, I'd suggest making it that same night, too (I have done it this way.)
 
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afriendly is offline afriendly Post #6  October 24,2010, 10:58am
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She beat me to it. Didn't want to sound corny, so I did not reply that she beat me to it. So, I picked a cafe (has coffee/tea/food) and we can progress from there. Let's see if she agrees. Did this last week, and the that woman poofed. To be honest, the other woman has not logged into her account for four days, so she doesn't know that my account on Match is expired. We'll see what happens. Was very positive about this until someone brought up the fact she could be a serial dater. Which, I do not think she is, cause a serial dater usually does not ask the man out. I just think she a strong independent woman, and she wanted to cut to the chase.

I do have on concern. Since I have a pending first meet on Friday with last week, what happens if this one suggests Friday? Do I bump the possibly pending on, or suggest another day?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  October 24,2010, 11:08am
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afriendly wrote :
I have a pending first meet on Friday with last week, what happens if this one suggests Friday? Do I bump the possibly pending on, or suggest another day?

Then you counteroffer for Saturday or Friday of the following week.

You have no need to state why you are not available, since you're giving an alternate date.

I would not displace the already scheduled meeting.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #8  October 24,2010, 11:29am

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a wawa 24 ouncer is 1.50. i doubt highly that any woman is on a dating site, willing to drive to a coffee place, and spend an hour with someone she does not like just for a free coffee.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #9  October 24,2010, 11:35am
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She sounds dangerous. you should give friends and family her name and email...just in case something happens to you..


Have fun... and stop overthinking everything..
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #10  October 24,2010, 11:39am
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Every time I've asked a guy out, it's been because I liked something about him (that includes online and IRL). You couldn't pay me a million dollars to even have a coffee with someone I didn't like.

Please don't look for reasons NOT to meet someone. Just do it. It's not like you have to marry her tomorrow. Even if she is a serial dater (which I don't think she is), you'll be out with someone instead of home being unhappy about not having a date.

This goes without saying, but you also may want to nail everything down early in the week... and let her know you'll contact her to confirm the day before. That, hopefully, will cut down on some of the poofing issues you've been running into.
 
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