Blue-collar / White-collar


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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #1  October 21,2010, 8:46pm
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Hi All,

This thread kind of is a branch of the professions of people you dated. I noticed I've mainly dated people in IT. The people I am around have mostly come from university or work, so I don't really know people who work non-office type jobs.

I'm thinking more along this gender split:
Blue-collar man and white-collar woman dating.
But I'm also interested in what people think about the other way around.

Being a white-collar woman, when I reflect back on my dates with blue-collar men, I think I was less intimidated and I was more able to be myself. I come off as more fun and confident. The guys really dig that. lol... But I'm reluctant to start anything serious because we're so different and from different worlds. I can't get over that and reactions from my family and peers. :s That's pretty much what ends things.

Anywhoo, this quote kind of sums up my first date reactions. Before over-thinking kicks in.
“A lot of women have a hard time being themselves around white-collar men. They feel like they have to be on their guard a bit or that they need to impress these guys. With blue-collar men, some of the pressure is lifted. Women who have a college education or a more high-powered career feel like they’re impressive enough, which allows them to relax in the relationship.”
Match.com Happen Magazine | When white-collar women date blue-collar guys?

Anyone have a similar issue? or success stories? Agree or disagree with the quote? I'm all ears.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  October 21,2010, 9:22pm
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Both my husbands were blue-collar; I was white...

My first...I turned down a promotion because I did not want to earn more money than him. I was very young at the time, and had alot of trouble with that...maybe something similar to what you face with your family and friends.

Between marriages, I gave alot of thought to what kind of man I need. I like a man that can do stuff...fix anything, do anything, make anything...

Not saying all blue-collar men are handy (beyond what they need for their own job), but in general...yes.

White-collar is good for making money; you can hire the work you need done...but money comes, and money goes... Better to know how to do it yourself, I think.

And some blue-collar men (if they have their own businesses, say) make a ton of money.

Give me a blue-collar man any day. I even have a name for the kind I like...Marlboro Man.

j8a
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #3  October 21,2010, 9:34pm
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lol @ Marlboro Man. The last blue-collar man I met was quite manly and handsome. LOL

You're right. The salary difference is my family's biggest concern. I need to think through what I'm looking for and if satisfying my family is one of them. *sighs*
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #4  October 21,2010, 10:00pm

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I don't know, but the last guy I was really, really attracted to in ways I didn't have to think about....was the guy that relaced the light bulb on my headlight a few days ago at Jiffy Lube. He even had a limp. I was still attracted to him.

He was also very funny and personable though, which made me notice him in the first place.
 
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windsurfing is offline windsurfing Post #5  October 21,2010, 10:01pm
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I am useless in the vast majority of manual labour (I was fired very quickly when I worked as a waitress when I was in college). So I prefer white-collar men in terms of lifestyles etc. But he still needs to be able to help me read a map (they say I am really clueless in direction, give up on me, and say they are happy to walk me home safe and sound), give me a ride (my driving is dangerous), and carry heavy stuff (can't carry anything heavy and try to bring the absolute minimum with me as far as possible) etc...... There have been blue-collar men who showed me interests. One of them was really really cute! But in reality, such nonsense would drive some tough guy nuts on the daily basis. What's the use of high heels, makeup, and pretty cloths etc if you cannot do daily labour? Yes, uselessly high-maintenance. They wouldn't like it. But there are guys who can live with a fragile flower and are fine with such nonsense.
I have some other things to offer, such as carrying on intelligent conversations, winning grant money etc. Basically, I am pretty good at whatever I can produce on my desk. But these again may not be well appreciated by blue-collar men.
Last edited by windsurfing; October 22,2010 at 2:03am.
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #6  October 22,2010, 4:07am
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I don't really care which collar he wears as long as he's a decent guy. I was brought up in a family that was really status driven so when my sister married some southern hick in the Navy the whole family had a field day making fun of him. But you know what, Gomer Pyle ended up being a quality person who stuck in there when my sister went nuts. Sure, there are things that will always separate class wise. Like he goes hunting before church on Sundays and his grammar is awful. He'll never make a lot of money. He'll never leave the area his family lives in. He'll always be a Gomer....but he's a good, quality Gomer anyone would be lucky to have in their corner.
 
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curiousgirl123 is offline curiousgirl123 Post #7  October 22,2010, 4:22am
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Since I have always been a white collar worker since graduating University, I would prefer to date the same. I think the main concern for me would be if I had enough in common with a blue collar worker to connect on intellectual level. He might find the things I'm interested in boring. Also I would prefer to date someone who is at a higher level than me not to deal with potential competition issues on who makes more money.

In terms of being handy, a lot of white collar man are handy too. All you need is the Internet and Home Depot . In fact, I re-grouted 2 bathrooms on my own in my last house before I sold it and if you saw me you'd never guess.

Having said all that though, it comes down to the individual you date (his character, values, interests) not his line of work. A lot of people change careers for different reasons, some of them have been put in that position due to the current state of the economy.
About pleasing parents and friends, I don't believe this should be a main priority. The approval of my parents was important to me when picking a spouse the first time but ended up not being the right choice for me. I think one should think about pleasing themselves when picking a partner since he/she would be the one living with them. Friends and family just want you to be happy, assuming they are well intentioned.
Last edited by curiousgirl123; October 22,2010 at 4:45am.
 
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MichaelNES13 is offline MichaelNES13 Post #8  October 22,2010, 4:58am
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I'm from the south myself, Alabama to be exact. I come from a working class family and until my current job as IT for an electrical supply company, I have always had a job doing manual labor. Whether it was working in the extreme heat, or in the cold, my father always told me to work hard for what I want and never expect a handout.

I dated a girl for 4 years and had already bought a ring. I was planning the proposal when she broke things off with me. Her main reason? Her parents didn't like me because I didn't come from a wealthy family. See her parents came from money and her dad was a doctor here in town. They refused to see that their daughter was very happy, that she was treated good, and that she was treated with respect. Instead, all they saw was that I didn't have as much money as they wanted me to. From the first day they met me they never gave me a decent chance. I spent 4 years being polite, ignoring the disgusting looks that they gave me and the comments from her telling me that her parents didn't like me and that she was settling for me.

It makes me absolutely sick when people put social status, money, and job over happiness, and love. Love will take you a lot farther in life as a whole than what job title you hold. I may not have a lot of money, but I worked hard for what I have and it doesn't have an effect on how I treat others, or how I interact in my daily life. If someone is going to treat me different because I may come from a different background, because I like to go hunting with my friends, because I may say "ya'll"sometimes, or because I have a southern accent then they are the ones that are missing out. A person is not made by the job title they hold, or the money that they bring in.

A person is made by the self worth that they have, and by how they treat others. I have seen girls that married a guy simply because he had money and after the honeymoon wore off, they were as miserable as could be. My point is that if you have no love, no communication, no mutual respect, or no trust, then I don't care how much money you do or don't have, you're not going to be happy.

I'm 31 years old. I hunt, I fish, I drive a truck, and I can work with my hands. I treat a woman with the utmost respect and I do my best to make them feel special. I am very outgoing and love to have fun. I can get dirty during the day and I can clean up and go out in a sweater, khakis and a pair of loafers and have the time of my life at night. I have a strong southern accent and I have manners and values. I have a job and a college education. If someone doesn't like me or want to date me because other than my job title I'm just a good 'ol southern boy then that's just fine with me.
Last edited by MichaelNES13; October 22,2010 at 6:17am.
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #9  October 22,2010, 5:31am
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curiousgirl123 wrote :
Since I have always been a white collar worker since graduating University, I would prefer to date the same. I think the main concern for me would be if I had enough in common with a blue collar worker to connect on intellectual level. He might find the things I'm interested in boring. Also I would prefer to date someone who is at a higher level than me not to deal with potential competition issues on who makes more money.

In terms of being handy, a lot of white collar man are handy too. All you need is the Internet and Home Depot . In fact, I re-grouted 2 bathrooms on my own in my last house before I sold it and if you saw me you'd never guess.

Having said all that though, it comes down to the individual you date (his character, values, interests) not his line of work. A lot of people change careers for different reasons, some of them have been put in that position due to the current state of the economy.
About pleasing parents and friends, I don't believe this should be a main priority. The approval of my parents was important to me when picking a spouse the first time but ended up not being the right choice for me. I think one should think about pleasing themselves when picking a partner since he/she would be the one living with them. Friends and family just want you to be happy, assuming they are well intentioned.
It's a mistake to assume that working a white collar job denotes higher intellect and an ability to understand things on a "higher" level. It would also be a mistake to assume that working a blue collar job would necessarily mean he'd be making less money than you ,be less successful or have less intellectually based interests. It would even be a mistake to assume you have more education. Plenty of people have college degrees and choose not to sit behind a desk.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #10  October 22,2010, 5:34am
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My sister, a highly-educated professional, married a blue collar guy. Very large disparity not just in education, but in basic intelligence. Still going strong 20+ years and two kids later.

He's now her office manager, so I guess not really a blue collar worker any more, but he was for the first 10+ year of their relationship.
Last edited by StuckOnYou; October 22,2010 at 5:52am. Reason: grammar
 
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