What happened next???


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WhiteCrane is offline WhiteCrane Post #1  October 21,2010, 2:06pm
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I think we need to start a thread every so often to invite people to share what happened next.

Like, dontcha wonder sometimes how things turned out for people you've given advice to?

And if you've received advice, wouldn't you like a chance to tell?

I asked for advice on a couple of things & was told I should let people know what happened, then never did --- so I'll start!!

Bus stop guy. So, I sent round 1 questions to a match. Next day, I went out my front door to the bus stop and THERE HE WAS! And he was wearing a govt name tag on his belt loop, so besides seeing his face I was able to verify his name. I had 30 seconds before the bus pulled up, so I jumped for it & introduced myself. Stilted but friendly conversation ensued.

That night I e-mailed to ask everyone's advice on whether I was nuts to have done it, and got a variety of responses.

What happened next? Well, we exchanged round 2. He sent me the round 3 questions & I responded. By that point we had bumped into each other at the bus stop a second time (!!) so I had a fairly good idea, without having had an official date, that he was fairly staid & conservative, to a degree that probably wouldn't work for me. So, when he asked me what I was looking for in a relationship, I talked about seeking a good match for my energy level and drive.

And... then I never heard from him again. No reply to my round 3 questions. And, so far, no more bus stop encounters!!

Profile-viewing lurker guy. So, this guy had viewed my profile a zillion times and never responded to my round 1 questions. This is an issue for plenty of people; there are always new threads on what it means & what to do.

I decided to take things into my own hands & send him an e-mail asking what was up. I posted this on the boards and got a variety of reactions about whether this was a good idea.

Amazingly, he responded right away and suggested we meet for coffee or a glass of wine the next day. So --- a 180 from lurking to total urgency!! I agreed, and proposed a local coffee shop. I didn't get a confirmation e-mail from him, so I messaged him again, noting the non-response and saying that, in the spirit of adventure, I would be there as agreed.

He did turn up, about 15 min late, claiming traffic. We had a totally bizarre conversation. It was like he had never read my profile at all. I seemed to be coming completely out of left field for him. NOT what I was expecting!!! I had assumed () that the lurking indicated interest, and that shyness or busy-ness or something forgivable or endearing was holding him back from communcating. But complete disengagement??? How to understand that one!?!?!?? Do I care??? NO!!!

He was an oddball for sure. I could go on about the oddness, but really the point for me was that my curiosity was satisfied.

And, yes, as others have pointed out on other lurker threads, if Prince Charming doesn't have the moxy/chutzpah/stones/whatever it takes to get the ball rolling, he really isn't worth a second thought!!!

Other stories???
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #2  October 21,2010, 3:47pm
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Nice idea.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  October 21,2010, 3:54pm

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ok i'll play!

Met a match in Seattle, had two dates (night before- her and her friend invited me to a pub, had wine and conversation).

Next day: Six hour date, coffee, lunch and dinner. Told me she'd visit my home town for Christmas. Never did.

We were friends on facebook. I checked her profile some months later, she's married lol
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #4  October 21,2010, 5:05pm

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What a great idea, WhiteCrane. I like it.

I liked finding out about bus-stop guy. So I wonder if he is taking an earlier bus or driving to work now? He! He!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  October 21,2010, 5:07pm

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PY_2 wrote :
ok i'll play!

Met a match in Seattle, had two dates (night before- her and her friend invited me to a pub, had wine and conversation).

Next day: Six hour date, coffee, lunch and dinner. Told me she'd visit my home town for Christmas. Never did.

We were friends on facebook. I checked her profile some months later, she's married lol
Ouch! lol!

***

I am gone on a couple of dates with a PY wanna-be: a cute, little, Asian dude that used a coupon on the first date.
 
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primarilyconfused is offline primarilyconfused Post #6  October 21,2010, 6:40pm
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I posted for some understanding on guys with ADD. Didn't matter...he poofed. Guess he forgot he said he wasn't after you know what....the verdict is in...he was after it.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #7  October 21,2010, 9:57pm

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LizziePooh wrote :
Ouch! lol!

***

I am gone on a couple of dates with a PY wanna-be: a cute, little, Asian dude that used a coupon on the first date.
He can't be me, because I ain't little!

(good luck with your date!! Tell him his Asian brutha said whazzup!)
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #8  October 21,2010, 10:00pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
Ouch! lol!

***

I am gone on a couple of dates with a PY wanna-be: a cute, little, Asian dude that used a coupon on the first date.
LOL! I just used a coupon on my last date. And I made a good impression. It can be done!
 
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figuring_out is offline figuring_out Post #9  October 22,2010, 5:22am
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I like this post, too!

In September, I posted about a guy I had recently met - wondering if his messy house and getting drunk on the first date should be red flags to me. I got a lot of responses - some saying "yes, red flags" others saying "just yellow." Mostly, people were concerned with my decision to go to his house on a first date and warned me of how dangerous that could have beem (rightly so!)...Well, here we are 2 months after having met him, and we are now in an exclusive relationship! Through no suggestion from me at all, he has cleaned up his entire house and has not been that drunk again on any other date. I guess the timing of the first date was just bad for the house, and the drinking was either nerves, or just getting too drunk too quick without even realizing. This past weekend while on a picnic with his daughter and mine, the kids were playing on the playground and he asked if I would like to "officially" be his girlfriend. This weekend, I'll be meeting his family and friends for the first time at a party at his house. Things are going really well, and I am SO happy that I gave him a second chance after our first date to see where things could go...
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #10  October 22,2010, 10:32am
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This was so long ago that I doubt anyone will remember (over a year), but I posted about a guy who had dumped me very unexpectedly after we had been dating about six weeks. He claimed the reason was his not being over his ex yet and not wanting to drag me down. I wanted to email him to leave the door open for a future relationship. The responses I got were mixed. There were a couple "maybe in six months" type answers. But the majority said that I was just the rebound and if he really liked me, his ex issues wouldn't have been a problem.

I never did email him. He made a few attempts to get in contact with me over the next year which I ignored. At about the year mark, he added me as a friend on facebook. I honestly thought it was his secretary who had done it ... he is running for political office and I figured she was just trying to make anyone in his contact book a friend. I accepted out of curiosity. I didn't think I was interested in getting back together with him, but the whole facebook thing stirred up a momentary "should I go down that road?" I actually had a first date that night with another guy. When that mildly successful date was able to get my mind off this guy, I knew that I was over it.

He's made some attempts at facebook communication, but I am more interested in what's going on in his political career than rekindling that fling. So as of now I would say we're casual acquaintances. He is to date the only guy I have ever ended things with to have somewhat unresolved feelings. When all's said and done, I am glad that he ended things when he did. He's a great guy, but not the right one for me long term.

Plus, soon after this event I met the world's most wonderful guy. We've been together for 9 months months now. We're living together and planning a future, still blissfully happy despite being up to our necks in tools and sawdust (extensive remodel ... hopefully done by next weekend!).
 
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