Shepherd3597 is offline Shepherd3597 Post #1  October 16,2010, 5:59pm
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Are there any rules about getting physical when casually dating? I tend to date non exclusivly for a bit before kissing or anything else but am getting the feeling I am more conservitive than most. I am getting signals that women want to be kissed but am wondering if that is ok on the first few dates? Do people feel mislead if you get physical before being commited? If you do kiss them is it understood that until we define the relationship that is it not exclusive? How do people work this out?
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #2  October 16,2010, 6:12pm
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I feel more respected by a man if he does not kiss me on the first or second date. I feel like I barely know them at this point and the sharing of bodily fluids is premature and even a bit risky. So, then if a guy does kiss me and I really wished he wouldn't yet, well, then that;s not a very great kiss. I think it is best to explain this upfront so that there are no misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  October 16,2010, 6:17pm
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Rules... there are no rules..

wrote :
I am getting signals that women want to be kissed
Your spidey sense is correct....

Reality is some do and some don't within the first few dates....

wrote :
If you do kiss them is it understood that until we define the relationship that is it not exclusive
Yes the relationship if not defined until you have the talk or a talk..

wrote :
Do people feel mislead if you get physical before being commited?
If someone feels mislead, I would assume there wasn't very good communication.. Alway good idea to communicate through conversation.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 16,2010 at 6:19pm.
 
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Pilgrim007 is offline Pilgrim007 Post #4  October 16,2010, 6:25pm
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Shepherd3597 wrote :
Are there any rules about getting physical when casually dating? I tend to date non exclusivly for a bit before kissing or anything else but am getting the feeling I am more conservitive than most. I am getting signals that women want to be kissed but am wondering if that is ok on the first few dates? Do people feel mislead if you get physical before being commited? If you do kiss them is it understood that until we define the relationship that is it not exclusive? How do people work this out?
Every woman is different (about now you are thinking duh--smile). While some want a LOT on the first date especially if we had talked a lot before our first date (I had planned our first kiss on the end of the pier as the sun was setting--she could not wait), I find most southern girls feel more respected if I do not try to kiss them on the first date.

Beware however that some women will speedily throw you into the friendship box and lock the lid tight if you are not clear in your romantic intentions early. IMHO
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #5  October 16,2010, 6:30pm
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I think everyone has their own idea of what casual dating is. I say go with what you feel is best and are comfortable with. Everyone is different and you shouldn’t conform to what people might think is the norm just for that reason. I myself was dating someone and I believe the kissing was a bit premature because we weren’t exclusive and the focus then became on the kissing in the next few dates versus getting to know each other. I think some people are used to kissing many people while dating around, and some people can only handle dating one person and kissing that one person. I am of the latter camp. I think that kissing and getting physical can definitely heighten emotions and emotional attachment which can be hard when two people aren’t committed/exclusive. I think the best way to resolve things are to have conversations about expectations and where things are going. Honesty is key and it’s foundational to any good relationship.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  October 16,2010, 6:39pm
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My rule is that if I don't get at least a kiss on the first date, then I feel there is no reason for a second date. BUT - I am a mature and physically open female, not the norm - or rather, I am one of the few who will actually admit to it! LOL
 
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afriendly is offline afriendly Post #7  October 16,2010, 7:46pm
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Always initiate a kiss, even just a peck on the lips, on the second date. Worst case scenario, third date. Only happened twice on the first date for me. Each time, they kissed me.
 
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YellowUmbrella is offline YellowUmbrella Post #8  October 16,2010, 7:55pm
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I like afriendly's approach. I think holding off on kissing for too long can possibly lead a potential relationship right into the friend zone, but it's really good to try to read signals too. If you are sensing she wants to be kissed, you're probably right.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  October 17,2010, 7:09am
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Some people are kissers and some are not. It is in how you are kissing someone that you convey intent. You can kiss "casual" in the early dates and leave the exploration for tonsils for after you have developed a stronger relationship.

It also may be a sign from your date, when she is indicating a desire for a kiss that she is wanting / expecting the relationship to go in a more exclusive direction.
 
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