Trymeout is offline Trymeout Post #1  October 16,2010, 7:44am
Trymeout's Avatar

What you put up with, you end up with.

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2010

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Posts: 87

See profile

about a year and a half ago i was asked by my former boss to take out some guy who was in town as he was young and new to the city and only here for the night he thought maybe my gf's and i could take this guy out and show him a good time. Well it was a thurs night so my friends werent up for hitting up the town so i ended up going alone mostly because i knew i wanted a job at this company and it was in my best interest to socialize with those who work there - my boss and another executive also joined us meaning it wasnt prime time for discussion with the loud music and 2 other professionals there its not like you could really get to know each other - but our conversation from what i remember was pleasant enough and at the end of the night he walked me to my car without the other 2. My boss had indicated prior to the meeting that he thought this guy and i would really hit it off and though he was nice enough he was not at all my type...he was new to country and you could tell he was fresh off the boat - kinda shy and not dressed very stylishly and a pretty thick accent...we're the same nationality but im born here so for me it was just night and day someone id definately be friends with but would not be attracted to. We exchanged numbers he went back to NYC and we never really spoke again.

Well fast forward a year and a half I now work for this company and am based in teh canadian office while he is in the NYC office...and ive exchanged a few work related emails with the general nicesties of how are you and then down to business.

Well yesterday he was in our office - and holy moly he TOTALLY changed i didnt even recognize him - all of a sudden hes well dressed totally confident and pretty damn attractive!...he did chit chat with me for a bit of how ive been and if i remembered him but after that was busy wth meetings and said he'd catch up with me later - well the whole 2 days he was here he was busy in meetings and when he left he had to catch his flight and was in a rush and didnt even say bye just dashed out...so i was like ok shot that one in the foot.

but then he sent me a txt like 15 min after he left apologizing that he hadnt had the chance to chat more that he was in a rush and that he hoped we could catch up next time - i just made a joke about make time for a drink next time and we'd catch up then.

anyway first of all god knows when ill see him again he doesnt regularly spend any time in our office, but a lot of my coworkers work with him and speak very highly of him and always have, and now i do have an attraction to him i hadnt before and my boss had intially intro'd us because he thought we would be a good fit...i am interested but have no idea what to do because one we now work together (different offices) , two i never called him after he gave me his number the first time so i feel it would be really odd for me to use it now, and three he could totally be not interested or be with someone by now for all i know and i dont want to make a fool of myself - but i also dont want to wait until the next time i see him...

so what do i do...
 
  Reply With Quote
pamcam is offline pamcam Post #2  October 16,2010, 7:53am
pamcam's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

El Paso, Texas

Posts: 641

See profile

There are no gains w/o taking risks. Call him; tell him you are interested in getting to know who he is, and that the next time he's at your office, or you're at his, you want to make time and plans to spend together.

You have nothing to lose and much to gain.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  October 16,2010, 7:59am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

I think you definitely need to make your availibility and interest know, and establish his.

You have some simple points of data to gather:

- Is he available (single)?
- Is he attracted to you / seems you as suitable (from what he knows)?

If the above checks out:

- Is he able / willing to undertake the distance relationship?
- Is he willing to conduct a relationship with a co-worker?

This situation presents a rare piece of great good fortune, in that it may be possible to attain a transfer within the organization which enables one or both of you to relocate, without an occupational disruption, and / or to travel to meet periodically with unusual ease.

But, it all starts with establishing availability and interest.
 
  Reply With Quote
CestMoi is offline CestMoi Post #4  October 16,2010, 8:43am
CestMoi's Avatar

Today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Denver, CO

Posts: 115

See profile

Nothing ventured, nothing gained... you seem very intrigued by this man. I'd definitely express some interest if I were you. Right now, he probably has no idea, based on the fact you never called him.

Timing is everything... interesting how the first time you met was so different... and now this... exciting! Keep us posted.
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #5  October 16,2010, 10:38am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

You have his number call him....you have his work email at l;east...email him.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  October 16,2010, 11:00am
Dropdeadredtx's Avatar

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,635

See profile

It sounds like you let some superficial characteristics influence your original decision, and hopefully he doesn't pick up on that 'not good enough then but good enough now' vibe.
All you can do is ask!
 
  Reply With Quote
iamgermajesty is offline iamgermajesty Post #7  October 16,2010, 11:05am
iamgermajesty's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2010

Germany

Posts: 157

See profile

I can see what you mean about it being awkward never using his number before now ... but to be honest, it's not that strange for people to meet, exchange information, and reconnect later. I know people from college that I met freshman year then didn't see again til senior year even though we'd been facebook friends all along.

Plus, if he was as new to the country as you say, he probably realizes that he's really different now than he was back then. Also, if he ever asks why you never called him before, just say you weren't dating or were nervous about getting the job or something.
 
  Reply With Quote
Trymeout is offline Trymeout Post #8  October 16,2010, 3:06pm
Trymeout's Avatar

What you put up with, you end up with.

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2010

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Posts: 87

See profile

i understand the comment of superficiality and althought it may seem that way i just wanted to be honest on why i didnt persue it - it wasnt just that he was new to the country that made me refrain i just knew he had a lot to adapt to already...more importantly having dated people who are new here before its just led to many cultural differences and mentality differences that we never really had anything in common..on top of that i wanted to work for that company and i dont really want anything ruining it meaning if i wasnt going to pursue it properly dont engage or poof or show half interests.....my interest in him now isnt so much what he looked like - attractive men arent a rarity - but that i was very impressed by how quickly he had adapted...thats like me going to japan and in a year and a half speaking fluent japanese and rocking kimonos ...when a year before i wasnt even close to it...i respect that and it captured my interest...

he did respond to my txt about a drink with a sounds good - "sounds good" generally closes the convo doesnt it? and i generally will err on the not making a fool of myself side and if i really like someone ok go for it worst case u never hear from them again....but this could be awkward in the future - and ive never engaged in workplace anything i think its cause for trouble and weirdness eventually....and im not really old fashioned but i believe that mentality that if someone is into you they will show it..by sending him the we'll have a drink next time txt i put it out there....my problem is i lack patience!!!

I just dont want people from work to find out as they travel there for work that i was now attempting to pursue it...you know i asked my boss back then what he thought of me i wanted to know regardless because sometimes you think if that person liked me then maybe lets see but he said that he hadnt said anything to him....and considering he didnt talk much when he was here i feel it just might be odd for me to try to communicate when he's already gone...

D Lion totally agree that i need to find out his status and interest - status maybe i could find out thru some due dilligence but interest no clue although i hope that he txted me at all in the first place means somethign although id think more it was just the nice side of him and just being nice to a co worker.

and if he doesnt have any interest now i know i deserve it! lesson learned...but very rarely does it go that way your first impression usually is the right one.

i have to try to find a way to contact him about a work related matter and throw in some other stuff - but we work in completely different departments and and rarely do the two align.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Call me? | Dating | Just for fun... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:53am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0