six dates and I'm confused


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starlightbrite is offline starlightbrite Post #1  October 16,2010, 3:50am
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I've been on six dates with a guy, and I'm confused. He hasn't tried to do anything other than kiss me, and even that, only barely. On our first date, he didn't even try to kiss me, but then he gave me a quick kiss in the car at the end of our second date. And then, on our third date, he walked me to mydoor and kissed me on my porch. it was more of a full-body hug, followed by a longer kiss of about a minute.

then, fourth date and fifth dates, the same. and then our sixth date, last night, we watched a movie at my house and it started out nicely with him rubbing my back a little, and patting my leg a couple of times during the first half hour of the movie, but then, nothing else physical. it was strange that he stopped trying to touch me.

finally, when the movie ended, I thought that we'd listen to music and perhaps kiss a little on my couch. but instead, he checked the football score on his phone, and I offered to switch to the football game for the final quarter. he liked that idea, so we spent the next half hour watching the final quarter of the game. again, thought perhaps we'd kiss a little afterward. but it was 11:20 p.m. by then (but a Friday night), and he said, "well, it's been a really long week and I'm really tired, so I guess I'll call it a night."

and he got up and put on his shoes and I walked him to the door, and he kissed me (but I left my arms crossed while he did it, because I was so taken aback by his quick departure and I was feeling a little hurt),so he didn't try to hug me and he didn't do a more in-depth French kiss, just two quick pecks on the lips.

I'm totally confused whether this guy is into me. I've never known a guy to go on six dates with a girl and not try anything other than a quick peck on the lips. Everything else points to him being interested. He calls me a lot, asks me out 1-2 times a week, etc. We've known each other for five weeks now. I just thought that by now, he'd try more than a fast kiss at the end of the date. But maybe this is normal? I don't know.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  October 16,2010, 5:24am
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It sounds like he is either afraid of scaring you (a relative lack of experience on his part would make this even more likely), or disinterested in becoming intimate.

I think your best option is either to ask for what you want ("Please do ____ to me.") or simply take the lead yourself.

Personally, I would force this issue - since you don't want to end up with someone disinterested. With any luck, though, this problem will abate quickly.

On another note, I set my meetings deliberately to allow for intimacy (i.e., exactly to avoid being too late / too tired), so that might help.

Personally, I would have been staying over together or given up by six meetings.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  October 16,2010, 5:40am
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Kissing is not part of my background and so I am not much into kissing. However since kissing seems to be a big thing for you I would suggest that you let him know this through words and actions. You may want to get the book The Art of Kissing by William Cane and then suggest to him that you want to "practice".

I would have said that he was into you and was just taking things slow until I got to your fourth paragraph. You having crossed your arms when he hugged you goodnight would have been the end of it for me. Hugging to me is what kissing is to you, I love to hug!
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #4  October 16,2010, 5:44am
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Sounds like you're waiting for him to do everything and he probably is afraid of going too fast!

Put your arm around him, cuddle up beside him, lean in for the kiss yourself! If he's afraid you don't want these things he won't do them! If you initiate then it might put him at ease and get you what you want.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #5  October 16,2010, 5:47am
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I think he should have tried something by now. But maybe he's just shy. who knows.

I agree with the PP - initiate this one yourself. Put your arms around him and lay a big one right on his lips!
Last edited by scully98; October 16,2010 at 5:50am.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #6  October 16,2010, 6:40am

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starlightbrite wrote :
I've been on six dates with a guy, and I'm confused. He hasn't tried to do anything other than kiss me, and even that, only barely. On our first date, he didn't even try to kiss me, but then he gave me a quick kiss in the car at the end of our second date. And then, on our third date, he walked me to mydoor and kissed me on my porch. it was more of a full-body hug, followed by a longer kiss of about a minute.

then, fourth date and fifth dates, the same. and then our sixth date, last night, we watched a movie at my house and it started out nicely with him rubbing my back a little, and patting my leg a couple of times during the first half hour of the movie, but then, nothing else physical. it was strange that he stopped trying to touch me.

finally, when the movie ended, I thought that we'd listen to music and perhaps kiss a little on my couch. but instead, he checked the football score on his phone, and I offered to switch to the football game for the final quarter. he liked that idea, so we spent the next half hour watching the final quarter of the game. again, thought perhaps we'd kiss a little afterward. but it was 11:20 p.m. by then (but a Friday night), and he said, "well, it's been a really long week and I'm really tired, so I guess I'll call it a night."

and he got up and put on his shoes and I walked him to the door, and he kissed me (but I left my arms crossed while he did it, because I was so taken aback by his quick departure and I was feeling a little hurt),so he didn't try to hug me and he didn't do a more in-depth French kiss, just two quick pecks on the lips.

I'm totally confused whether this guy is into me. I've never known a guy to go on six dates with a girl and not try anything other than a quick peck on the lips. Everything else points to him being interested. He calls me a lot, asks me out 1-2 times a week, etc. We've known each other for five weeks now. I just thought that by now, he'd try more than a fast kiss at the end of the date. But maybe this is normal? I don't know.
Sounds like he wants to make you his beard.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #7  October 16,2010, 6:57am
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scully98 wrote :
maybe he's just shy. who knows.
If I was a betting man I'd put money on that!
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #8  October 16,2010, 7:18am
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Hiya OP,

So what do you want to do with him? Go ahead and initiate.
He pats your leg, you pat his leg. He kisses you for 1 min, you kiss him back for 2 min. What's the hold up? Please follow these instructions and report back!
 
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charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #9  October 16,2010, 7:21am
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I had a guy like that. Fifth date and he had barely touched me, much less kissed me. As I walked him to the door I cornered him and kissed him. Two weeks later he proposed. Took me 6 months to say yes. Happily married 22 years.

If you want to kiss him, kiss him. It could end up as nothing, or it could be everything.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  October 16,2010, 7:34am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Kissing is not part of my background and so I am not much into kissing.
I have no idea what that means.

To the OP-
if you want more action..grab 'em!..kiss 'em!...he's either going to pull away..or dive in(if he's into you)
 
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