havetobeyou is offline havetobeyou Post #1  October 14,2010, 5:01pm
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hi, everyone, i am new here. i need some ideas about what this guy is thinking.

I met him about a month ago at friend's party. We went out 4 times, although the first three times were more like friends hanging out kind, because we were with his friends. But he did pick me up and drop me off on the second and third time. But no good bye kisses, just hugs.

Then, the 4th time, he asked me to get a dinner and a movie, just two of us. It was a good, at least i think so. When he drop me off this time, we kissed, but i didn't expect it, so i guess i was not very passionate about it. I was worried that he would misunderstand that i am not interested in him, but he sent me a text the same night, saying it was great to see me. And the day after that date, he texted me too. So, i thought everything was good.

During the following week(the date was on Friday), he texted me once, on Tue. Then on Thur, i texted him, just asking if he was having a busy day. Then he replied in an hour saying he was not that busy that day. Also, he mentioned, he would be on a 24 hour hotline call that weekend(because of his work), so that may limit what he could do. I took it as a massage that he wanted me to know we couldn't meet up that weekend. I was fine with it. We didn't contact for the whole weekend. Then, on Sunday night, he texted me saying: I am sorry that i haven't contacted you this weekend because i was on call, hope you are doing well. I was happy to see that text coz it kind made me feel he cared about me.

I replied his text the next day, Monday. We texted each other about 2 more msg. Then, on Tue night, i saw him on facebook, so i initiated the conversation on fb. He then told me on facebook that he will be out of town this wekeend because of his brother's birthday. And we haven't talked since then.

My question is do you guys think this guy is still interested in carring on the dating between us? If he is not, why would he send msg on Sunday night to say sorry, i didn't even try to contact him that week. Moreover, all the text he sent were very friendly, i don't feel he is trying to avoid me. If he is interested, why he couldn't contact me more often or ask me out on a week day? I am just so confused about this. And when we were chatting on fb, i didn't ask him what he is going to do this weekend, he just directly told me about his plan.

Is it a good idea that i text him on Sunday night to ask how's the weekend or something like this? Or i should forget about him if he doesn't contact me? What can i do now? I am interested in him.

Thanks!
Last edited by havetobeyou; October 22,2010 at 5:29pm.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  October 14,2010, 5:09pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I have a prediction: within 3 weeks you'll know for certain whether he's interested in you or not. I don't think you need to contact him. He'll either contact you or he won't. Good luck.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #3  October 14,2010, 5:25pm
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I read this and I'm left with the distinct impressions that he did most of the initiating of communication and showing of interest.

Not sure if that's exactly what happened but if so it would lead me to believe you weren't interested and I'd lose interest and move on.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  October 14,2010, 5:40pm
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i say do nothing more.

there is no way to *know* what he is thinking. he might not be interested, he might be. but either way contacting him wont make him more interested.

i would stop focusing on it.... on him... and date other people. or get out and mingle to find other people to date.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  October 14,2010, 5:40pm
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oh and if he contacts you be friendly but brief. this is another reason to stay busy. no waiting around for someone. its passive stalking!
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #6  October 14,2010, 5:47pm
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Nothing's happened since the dinner!

Plan something or just let it be. I sense that this texting isn't going to go anywhere...
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #7  October 14,2010, 5:51pm
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Raw_Truth wrote :
I read this and I'm left with the distinct impressions that he did most of the initiating of communication and showing of interest.

Not sure if that's exactly what happened but if so it would lead me to believe you weren't interested and I'd lose interest and move on.
I agree with this. When he says, "I'm busy Friday," you know you could reply, "Oh? Do you want to get a cup of coffee or something Thursday night?" or some other suggestion. Being passive here isn't helping you.

And just saying, "Sorry we couldn't meet / Hope you had a good weekend" isn't really showing much interest, imo. Some, yes, but a very minimal level...
 
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curiousgirl123 is offline curiousgirl123 Post #8  October 14,2010, 5:56pm
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chimerical wrote :
I agree with this. When he says, "I'm busy Friday," you know you could reply, "Oh? Do you want to get a cup of coffee or something Thursday night?" or some other suggestion. Being passive here isn't helping you.

And just saying, "Sorry we couldn't meet / Hope you had a good weekend" isn't really showing much interest, imo. Some, yes, but a very minimal level...
I agree.
 
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Pilgrim007 is offline Pilgrim007 Post #9  October 14,2010, 6:00pm
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Nanette wrote :
oh and if he contacts you be friendly but brief. this is another reason to stay busy. no waiting around for someone. its passive stalking!
havetobeyou,

While I don’t know about the passive stalking…

The lady who said in three weeks you should know is probably right. If he is busy with work he will return. However, if it is “work” you don’t want him back (IMHO).

He should be the one to do most of the heavy lifting. Where he has not initiated another date being brief and maybe unavailable the next time he asks you out might not be a bad idea. You are spending a lot of time waiting. Don’t become the “Nice Guy” of the threads that some of us guys have fallen into before.

However, if he does something good please be certain to “praise” the behavior. Encourage the good discourage the bad (kind of like raising a puppy).

Waiting is the hardest part; I know as I am waiting for an important answer at this moment myself. Do not settle for crumbs. You deserve a positive growing relationship.

YFR
 
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havetobeyou is offline havetobeyou Post #10  October 14,2010, 6:03pm
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Raw_Truth wrote :
I read this and I'm left with the distinct impressions that he did most of the initiating of communication and showing of interest.

Not sure if that's exactly what happened but if so it would lead me to believe you weren't interested and I'd lose interest and move on.
that's why i asked if i need to call him this weekend to show more interest.. i want to do someting to show him i am interested but not too agressive or stalker-ish.
 
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