What the hell happened?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
jkespd is offline jkespd Post #1  October 13,2010, 7:13pm
jkespd's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 2

See profile

I'm new to eharmony and went on my second date with someone I met about 6 weeks ago. She has been divorced for 1 year and has a 5 year old daughter.

On our 3rd date we slept together (it was physically amazing for both of us), even though neither one of us had been with anyone for almost a year. We started going out more frequently, having great sex, and it seemed like a really great relationship was forming. After a Sunday day out with her daughter and her best friend (and her boyfriend), 3 days later she tells me she has been ignoring a lack of connection despite our physical chemistry which was obvious many times over.

What happened? Did we move too fast, is it the daughter, or did her best friend sandbag me? I'm confused and wishing now I never met her despite my belief she is this great woman. Obviously I haven't spoken to her after she told me that. Just looking for some feed back, or do I just not understand women
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  October 13,2010, 7:16pm

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

I would go with the friend idea.
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  October 13,2010, 7:30pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,423

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I would go with the friend idea.
I think that's a good bet, also.
the friend didn't like you..or something...
did you burp in front of her?
 
  Reply With Quote
pamcam is offline pamcam Post #4  October 13,2010, 7:30pm
pamcam's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

El Paso, Texas

Posts: 641

See profile

Ask her what she means by connection--an emotional one, intellectual, spiritual--what does she mean?
 
  Reply With Quote
livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  October 13,2010, 8:55pm
livenlearn's Avatar

Yay! spring has sprung.

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

cosmos

Posts: 3,439

See profile

jkespd wrote :
I'm new to eharmony and went on my second date with someone I met about 6 weeks ago. She has been divorced for 1 year and has a 5 year old daughter.

On our 3rd date we slept together (it was physically amazing for both of us), even though neither one of us had been with anyone for almost a year. We started going out more frequently, having great sex, and it seemed like a really great relationship was forming. After a Sunday day out with her daughter and her best friend (and her boyfriend), 3 days later she tells me she has been ignoring a lack of connection despite our physical chemistry which was obvious many times over.

What happened? Did we move too fast, is it the daughter, or did her best friend sandbag me? I'm confused and wishing now I never met her despite my belief she is this great woman. Obviously I haven't spoken to her after she told me that. Just looking for some feed back, or do I just not understand women
There is too little here to make a good guess on what happened.
You didnt give any details on how that date went with the others included. You didnt say if you interacted well with the others on that date.
Also, you say it seemed like a really great relationship was forming. Thats your side. We have no clue what the other party feels is the makings of a great relationship.
I do want to point out to you something though. Communication is the key to a really good relationship. If there was a lack of that (and it sounds like it) then there may not have been as good a relationship forming as you might have thought.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #6  October 14,2010, 4:39am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

TheThinker wrote :
I think that's a good bet, also.
the friend didn't like you..or something...
did you burp in front of her?
I always put a lot on the friends. They really have nothing vested in your success. They want to sound like they know what they are talking about. Add to that that most people think the lack of advice is no advice so they come up with something to advise you about. In other words if asked for advice most people won't say you are doing great! Thing is I have little regard for someone who can so easily be swayed by their friends to ignore their own feelings so no loss.
 
  Reply With Quote
StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #7  October 14,2010, 4:45am
StPaulGirl's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2010

Posts: 578

See profile

jkespd wrote :
she tells me she has been ignoring a lack of connection despite our physical chemistry
Why blame the friend? Why not take her statement at face value?

She told you exactly what happened. She was dating you for the good sex. She has now decided that good sex isn't enough of a draw for her to continue dating you.
 
  Reply With Quote
ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #8  October 14,2010, 4:54am
ISearch4Love's Avatar

I'd rather love someone I can't have than have someone I can't love.

Sage

Joined: Aug 2010

Ohio

Posts: 12,591

See profile

Not really any point in trying to guess what happened. If things aren't working out move on to the next one. Racking your brain trying to figure out why this one didn't work will only add to the frustration.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  October 14,2010, 5:10am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

Great sex does not mean a connection and does not necessarily lead to a relationship. You slept with her and got emotionally attached, she slept with you and didn't. Sounds like she told you as best she could that she is not that into you after all. There is really no point in racking your brains trying to figure that out - let it go and move on. You really can't make someone like you when they don't and it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you or that you did something bad. Sometimes the click that you are feeling is one sided.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #10  October 14,2010, 6:05am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,301

See profile

She is on the rebound, after a year of no sex , of course it seemed amazing, for both of you.

Many recently divorced people go through this... a wild ride (of multiple flings) to compensate for and distract themselves from, years of commitment and responsibility, ugly divorces, loneliness.

The "family life day" is what she does not want to be reminded of if she is in this "Yeah!...Me Free!!" stage of her divorce recovery.

jkespd wrote :
She has been divorced for 1 year and has a 5 year old daughter.

On our 3rd date we slept together (it was physically amazing for both of us), even though neither one of us had been with anyone for almost a year. We started going out more frequently, having great sex, and it seemed like a really great relationship was forming.


 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Communicating interest & flexibility online? | Dating | The Top 10 Guide to Dating in Boston »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
guys, what happened? javagirl67 Using eHarmony 5 November 7,2010 9:07pm
What Does The Bible Teach About Hell? deistdreamer Christian Singles 22 May 30,2010 12:04pm
Was I wrong, and what happened? Ahava1979 Relationships 6 May 5,2010 11:37pm
What happened to them? dwreese182 Christian Singles 11 March 29,2010 11:26pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:48am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0