Too Nice... Too Sweet... ugggg


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Mythical is offline Mythical Post #1  October 12,2010, 9:44am
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I've enjoyed reading what everyone says here on the boards... so much good advice from some really cool people. And I'll keep coming back i'm sure.

But this dating business is crazy.

You know those lines ... 'you're such a nice guy, but...' or 'you are so sweet, I know you'll be a catch for someone ELSE'

UGGGGGGGG

I'm tired of being labeled too nice or too sweet... usually BOTH!

It seems that in order to get a date you have to cast your net wide and be nice and sweet to everyone, but all that seems to happen is they think you are too good to be true, or you don't stand out in any one area.

I'm tired of getting that. Maybe I'm just too desparate, idk. But I'm tired of placating to everyone. Honestly, life is too short to just bend over to please everyone... I'm the one screwed in the end.

LOL... do I sound frustrated? I guess that's good.

I think it's time to just face the music. Whether I have somoene with me or not... doesn't matter. Time to have fun.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  October 12,2010, 9:51am

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Mythical wrote :
I've enjoyed reading what everyone says here on the boards... so much good advice from some really cool people. And I'll keep coming back i'm sure.

But this dating business is crazy.

You know those lines ... 'you're such a nice guy, but...' or 'you are so sweet, I know you'll be a catch for someone ELSE'

UGGGGGGGG

I'm tired of being labeled too nice or too sweet... usually BOTH!

It seems that in order to get a date you have to cast your net wide and be nice and sweet to everyone, but all that seems to happen is they think you are too good to be true, or you don't stand out in any one area.

I'm tired of getting that. Maybe I'm just too desparate, idk. But I'm tired of placating to everyone. Honestly, life is too short to just bend over to please everyone... I'm the one screwed in the end.

LOL... do I sound frustrated? I guess that's good.

I think it's time to just face the music. Whether I have somoene with me or not... doesn't matter. Time to have fun.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.
So that means I'm the only one left
Last edited by PY_2; October 12,2010 at 9:52am. Reason: but in a cool, bad boyish kinda way cuz dat's whut da ladiez liek.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  October 12,2010, 9:53am
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PY_2 wrote :
So that means I'm the only one left
LOL.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  October 12,2010, 9:55am
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Well...my one suggestion is to not be someone you are not though...If you are a nice guy...stay one...you can be wonderfully caring, considerate, and kind to a woman with still being confident, passionate, and adventerous.....and yes...there is a big difference between being a good guy and a doormat!

Don't become some 'pretend' jerk just to get a girl...that wouldn't work for either of you....

Just like we can read on the boards that men say to women.."you are too good for me...you are perfect and I am not"...the same things for women to men...It's all just saying..."I'm not that into you"...we are not a match...

To me...no harm, no foul...it's a numbers game...there will be girls that you think are great and you, not so much...and then a woman you are not into..and she is totally in to you....

Even if you find a great match...you can still date for months/year and not get married or have it work out...Or like me...finally get married in my 30's and now end up single in my 40's...

It's life...it's dating...

So...I absolutely agree that you should HAVE FUN...Be yourself...and most of all...have a wonderfully fulfilling single life with your family/friends and doing things on your own like volunteering, doing hobbies you enjoy....

Even practice flirting each day doing your errands.....Just for the heck of it!

Try not to get too jaded...or else when you end up meeting that wonderful woman...you might be giving off a vibe that you could care less and defensive which could turn her away...

The biggest mistake some us make is making that new person 'pay' for the rejections we have had in the past...that new woman deserves your 'sweet self' and believe me..when you find her..she will love every minute of it!!!
Last edited by Ingytravel; October 12,2010 at 10:20am. Reason: added a thought:)
 
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Bill1104 is offline Bill1104 Post #5  October 12,2010, 9:55am
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Don't believe for a second that you're too nice. Some folks cannot find appropriate words (like the truth) to use when saying that the "chemistry" simply isn't there.

It's just easier to let someone down easy with a little fib. Just do what you do - be nice - nice is good.

I insist on nice.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  October 12,2010, 10:04am
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Mythical wrote :
It seems that in order to get a date you have to cast your net wide and be nice and sweet to everyone, but all that seems to happen is they think you are too good to be true, or you don't stand out in any one area.

I'm tired of getting that. Maybe I'm just too desparate, idk. But I'm tired of placating to everyone. Honestly, life is too short to just bend over to please everyone... I'm the one screwed in the end.
Two things. One: For some/many people, "You're too nice" or "You're too good for me" or whatever is just a line. It doesn't mean anything in a literal sense. It just means, "We're not a good match."

Two: If you are trying to "placate" everyone, be nice and sweet and "please everyone," then yes, it is possible to be too nice. Women don't want to date a doormat. Be nice to them the way you'd be nice to anyone, but don't fall all over yourself trying to please them like a newborn puppy. That's not attractive.

Practice common courtesy, and nothing more, unless you feel inspired to do more by a particular woman. Otherwise, you'll continue to burn out like you are right now. And for nothing.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  October 12,2010, 10:16am
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Mythical wrote :
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
PY_2 wrote :
So that means I'm the only one left
Nope. Sorry but you have some serious competition from me
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #8  October 12,2010, 10:17am

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here's my take on guys that complain that women think they are too nice or too sweet.

mostly, it's like when i worked at carvel when i was 14. at first all the ice cream i could eat sounded really super rad. after a month, and to this day, i really don't like ice cream.

some men think that they have to "romance" a girl. i've seen a thousand profiles telling me "i know how to treat a woman" or worse " i will treat you like a princess"

the fact is, women, on the whole, just want to be treated as humans. it's too much pressure to be a princess and the view from the pedestal gets boring.

yes, be nice, be sweet, if that's your nature. can you or anyone keep that up for years? of course not. don't use sweet and nice as means to an end, because generally it's false. you (the OP) may not realize you are doing it.

be a good person. that's the best way to be.
Last edited by scarlet13; October 12,2010 at 10:20am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  October 12,2010, 10:18am
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Uh, search these boards for threads relating to "nice guys" and "bad boys". You will find a plethora of threads all indicating how the only way for a guy to get the girl is to be a "bad boy". Sad situation
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #10  October 12,2010, 10:25am

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also:

I'm sure all the men posters are going to come on here and blather on and on about how women only want bad boys and blah blah blah.

as a preemptive strike, I'm telling you it's all sour grapes.

men who have no admirable qualities other than "being nice" don't understand that there is a huge grey area between pushover and bad boy.
 
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