Why does dating have to be so complicated?


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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #1  October 10,2010, 8:52am
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Have email, texting, chat rooms, and cell phones really made romance better or were our Grandparents or Great Grandparents better off when there was just one phone or no phones in the house?

Do you feel like all the technology and different kinds of relationships (FWB, on-again-off-again, etc., ) has improved the dating experience or did the simpler times of Grandma and Grandpa actually make dating easier? Does any one recall when dating didn’t imply physical intimacy? How about when “courting” automatically meant you were exclusive and well on your way to getting married, LOL?

Have the challenges relationships present really changed that much or is all of this just my imagination?
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #2  October 10,2010, 11:21am
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I'm sure the first cave man and woman had all the same feelings and problems : She'e cute, does she want me? He's a great hunter, wonder how he is in bed?

They just didn't text each other about...

Diana_P wrote :
Have email, texting, chat rooms, and cell phones really made romance better
Do you feel like all the technology and different kinds of relationships (FWB, on-again-off-again, etc., ) has improved the dating experience
Have the challenges relationships present really changed that much or is all of this just my imagination?
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #3  October 10,2010, 11:22am
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There are just extra lines of communication available. How people use them or misuse them is the same.

Translate letters to texts.
Online chat is like phone call lite.

Same misunderstandings, assumptions, expectations, and real connections and desires.

So it's the daters that are really complicated, not what they use to setup dates.
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #4  October 10,2010, 11:41am
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People are complex human beings who complicate the heck out of what 'is' simple through our own insecurities, doubts, dishonesty, and deception.

Being honest about who we are and what we want and communicating it, uncomplicates it.
Last edited by pamcam; October 10,2010 at 11:47am.
 
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vanvleck is offline vanvleck Post #5  October 10,2010, 11:43am
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I think that there is another big difference between our situation and the times/places when a feller came a-courtin'. In that situation the man and woman lived in the same community and already knew each other. Attraction had already been assessed. Some amount of chemistry may have already developed. Speaking for myself, about the only thing I have that functions like a community is my workplace, and there are no likely prospects there. So I think that some of the modern online resources can help to fill in this void. Browsing this site, for example, it seems like people are getting to know each other, having meetups, etc. As for texting, email and cellphones, I don't think these make any difference at all. They are just new ways to communicate with people that you have already established a connection with.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #6  October 10,2010, 11:47am
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I think the only real difference is that we have become a 'I want what I want, when I want it, and I want it now" type of society...So everything happens much faster than it used to..

and some people feel they have to push themselves into things at a faster rate then their hearts or minds or bodies are ready for at times...they are afraid because of women/men mixed in the workplace, the internet, bars, etc...that there could be a 'replacement' within the next 24hrs....

I have stuck to the same pace as I have since I was in my late teens and started dating....I always express my interest, my level of excitement, and my thankfulness when I feel it...not worrying about who else does what....

I also enjoy a full and joyous life on my own with wonderful family/friends so any guy I date or have a realtionship is an 'addition' to my life...not the 'everything' in my life...so this keeps me centered and enjoying the actual dates...one at a time...no rush...no worrying about tomorrow....

I absolutely love the dating process....I also loved being married....and...yes...I love being alone....each one has great things about it...

But if people rush too fast...they miss the fantastic time of first conversations....first time to the movies....first kiss....first hand hold, etc....letting them all unfold one at a time....little by little...day by day...
 
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richey is offline richey Post #7  October 10,2010, 7:28pm
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I agree with Travel... I think what we're all seeing is more of the self-centered "ME WORLD" mentality then the technology. Perhaps the technology feeds that, but I think it first has to come from most people thinking they are the center of the universe.

There is no accountability, responsibiiyt anymore (hence all the "poofing" that happens).

Along with missing all the things Travel said peopel are missing now in the development... I also think it manfiests in the "instant decision" mentality people have these days too. If things aren't absolutely exactly how they want it from minute 1... then it's onto the next.

Again, perhaps technology helps feed this..... but I just think it's the way society is today... "me world."

Richey
 
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WA_hiker is offline WA_hiker Post #8  October 10,2010, 8:00pm
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Modern technology allows people to contact and interact with thousands or potentially even millions of other people. The amount of choices that someone can have looking for a life partner has increased drastically, by hundreds if not thousands of times, while the length of time that most people spend looking has increased only modestly in comparison.

Naturally, when you have to screen through a hundred thousand potential matches instead of the only ten potential partners in your village, the amount of time and effort spent evaluating each one will be greatly reduced. With so many choices and so few consequences, different kinds of relationships and interactions can evolve, compared to those in a small tight knit community.

Whether it's good or bad is hard to say. On one hand, divorce rates are higher than ever and fertility rates are lower than ever: signs that marriages aren't working and that people aren't having children. On the other hand, people have a lot more choices and freedom.
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #9  October 10,2010, 8:19pm
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I don't know how technology has changed dating; although, I thinks it's made us more accessible.

As for dating itself, I think we expect more from marriage/a relationship than our grandparents did. I think, despite what we say/think we want, we always wonder what we might be missing...

Maybe that's why courting/dating no longer implies exclusivity.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #10  October 10,2010, 8:38pm
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Dating ALWAYS implied 'physical intimacy.' That is the number one reason men date and want relationships.

In general dating can be made to be very, very easy, if you have the confidence for it.
 
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