Bad Date: He talked non-stop for over 3 hours...


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Unicron is offline Unicron Post #1  October 9,2010, 8:34pm
Unicron's Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

I just need to get this off my chest.

So, we decided to go on our first date on Friday night. We had exchanged Emails and talked on the phone... I knew he was "chatty", but I thought he was nice and we had a lot in common.

We sat down in this nice little Bistro and started with a light conversation. It was nice.

At first, I wasn't really paying attention.

Then I realized I hadn't said anything in a while.

... And that the waitress had come 4 times to pick our orders and laughed embarrassedly as he was brushing her off... I didn't really mind since we were on a date.

It's not that what he was saying wasn't interesting, it's just that he was cutting me off or wouldn't even give me the chance to begin answering.

As he went on, I thought: "Okay, he just wants me to know more about him."... Then: "He must be really nervous, I'll just let him get it off his chest. He's going to realize I won't bite him at some point"...

A bit later, I thought to myself: "Why doesn't he ask me any questions? Why is he going on and on about the details (every single one) of his every-day life? Aren't we suppose to have something akin to a romantic discussion at some point?"

And he just went on... and on... and on... and on... and on....

... About an hour later, I discovered he had the amazing ability to eat and talk simultaneously...

1 hour after that, I just wanted to go home, but my brain was numb and I couldn't cut him off to inform him.

About 1/2 an hour later, I managed to slip into the conversation that I needed to leave.

I made it to my car, only to realize that I had a constant beating in my head... Not like a drill, more like a poorly-oiled bus-engine... I had the tempo of his non-stop talking stuck in my head!

It's not that he's a bad guy, but I don't think I'll be going for that second date...
Last edited by Unicron; October 9,2010 at 9:06pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mythical is offline Mythical Post #2  October 9,2010, 8:49pm
Mythical's Avatar

wonders abound

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 209

See profile

That guy needs someone to slap him upside the head with a two by four and shout 'the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

If he contacts you ask him how much he learned about you during your date and then see how much he has to say. LOL (just kidding.. i wouldn't talk to him again, either)
 
  Reply With Quote
Unicron is offline Unicron Post #3  October 9,2010, 8:59pm
Unicron's Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

Mythical wrote :
That guy needs someone to slap him upside the head with a two by four and shout 'the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

If he contacts you ask him how much he learned about you during your date and then see how much he has to say. LOL (just kidding.. i wouldn't talk to him again, either)
I'm feeling a bit down, right now, because of that little "incident". I wasn't expecting perfect, but I had hoped it would've gone a lot better than this.

Thanks a lot for your support.
 
  Reply With Quote
JarMD80 is offline JarMD80 Post #4  October 9,2010, 9:14pm
JarMD80's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 96

See profile

Poor guy, he probably thought he was doing well, as in I'm talking about something instead of just staring at you and having trouble talking to you, but I can understand, and I am a guy, how enough is enough and it becomes boring unless the other person can have room to add their thoughts, that's why they call it a "conversation"
 
  Reply With Quote
liquid_steel is offline liquid_steel Post #5  October 9,2010, 9:22pm

Friendly banter welcome...

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 254

See profile

Reading this original post, I howled into the rafters. Bad dates are like bad camping trips: they make for more entertaining stories than do the smooooooooth ones.

Then, on the otherhand, I feel empathy for those who are single and enduring miserable dates. I, too, have experienced dates with fellows who are so busy promoting themselves (with endless chatter) that they fail to realize their monologue.

That's one reason why I choose a simple, SHORT first meeting (instead of a date) of an hour or less for coffee. Typically, I get there early and order/pay for my coffee and indulge in a good book while waiting (in case he's late, I still make good use of my time). If, when he arrives, I notice that he dominates the conversation (talks endlessly about himself for a 20-30-minute spell) or simply just does not include me in his conversation, then I look for my earliest opportunity to exit graciously. With no dinner check to settle nor coordinated rides, I'm free go.

A date who is genuinely interested in you shows it by interacting with you, not dominating you. Instead of pushing his own advertising, he'll ask you questions in an effort to get to know you better. Also, when a fellow respects you, it will show, too. He'll offer you the opportuntity to share in the conversation because he genuinely values your point of view.

So, fortunately, there is a way around the three-hour suffering. Try the simple, causual one hour coffee or beverage for a first meeting rather than a long dinner date.
 
  Reply With Quote
Unicron is offline Unicron Post #6  October 9,2010, 9:24pm
Unicron's Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

JarMD80 wrote :
Poor guy, he probably thought he was doing well, as in I'm talking about something instead of just staring at you and having trouble talking to you, but I can understand, and I am a guy, how enough is enough and it becomes boring unless the other person can have room to add their thoughts, that's why they call it a "conversation"
Like I said: he's not a bad guy... But this was, in my opinion, way over the top.

I went over everything in my head and counted that, overall, there must have been around 10-15 minutes, top, that he wasn't talking... including sitting down at the table, the waitress picking up our orders, eating, and me talking.

As a man, would you prefer me giving some details as to why I decided not to meet with you again or would you prefer everything to be short and to the point? (Or does it depend on the guy?)
 
  Reply With Quote
meri75 is offline meri75 Post #7  October 9,2010, 9:30pm
meri75's Avatar

really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Australia

Posts: 5,112

See profile

Hi Unicron & welcome to EHA!

I enjoyed reading your account of the date, you write well.

Yep, awkward when that happens. I went on a date (years and years ago) where this situation occurred with me (but not for 3 hours). Now, I am very introverted and the next day, the bloke rang me up and said he had enjoyed meeting me, but that I was too quiet and reserved for him! LOL

I'd be interested to know - what are you like normally when you're out? Are you quiet and usually just chime in here and there, or do you tend to hold your own?

Cheers, Meri.
 
  Reply With Quote
PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  October 9,2010, 9:34pm

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6,908

See profile

Poor guy didn't know what hit him!
 
  Reply With Quote
Mythical is offline Mythical Post #9  October 9,2010, 9:35pm
Mythical's Avatar

wonders abound

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 209

See profile

liquid_steel wrote :
That's one reason why I choose a simple, SHORT first meeting (instead of a date) of an hour or less for coffee. Typically, I get there early and order/pay for my coffee and indulge in a good book while waiting (in case he's late, I still make good use of my time). If, when he arrives, I notice that he dominates the conversation (talks endlessly about himself for a 20-30-minute spell) or simply just does not include me in his conversation, then I look for my earliest opportunity to exit graciously. With no dinner check to settle nor coordinated rides, I'm free go.
Or... you could just pull out your book again, start reading... and see if he notices!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
JarMD80 is offline JarMD80 Post #10  October 9,2010, 9:51pm
JarMD80's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 96

See profile

Unicron wrote :
Like I said: he's not a bad guy... But this was, in my opinion, way over the top.

I went over everything in my head and counted that, overall, there must have been around 10-15 minutes, top, that he wasn't talking... including sitting down at the table, the waitress picking up our orders, eating, and me talking.

As a man, would you prefer me giving some details as to why I decided not to meet with you again or would you prefer everything to be short and to the point? (Or does it depend on the guy?)
If you ask me it depends on the guy, as for me I can accept short and sweet or take details depends on what I'm looking at, I do this all the time when trying to teach others how to fly certain airliners like the airlines do to further their learning and enjoyment of the MS Flight Simulator software. I am also on the receiving end of it to, I know your saying what does this have to do with the fact that this guy on your date yakked your ear off for 3 hours talking about himself and not allowing you to say much, what I'm trying to say is everyone is different.

Based on the fact that he gave you a ton of details he sounds like can take details back, but don't know for sure.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Saturday Night Fall Festival, Celebrate! | Dating | Flowers before a date? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
My Answers To All Your Dating Questions greg75 Dating 23 May 21,2012 3:49pm
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date? JustSomeGuy12 Dating 158 October 15,2011 7:55am
Monday, August 16th weekend and date roundup! eHA_Admin_Lori Dating 49 August 19,2010 7:13am
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 10:29pm
Amazing First Date with the Heaven's Opening Above and Then Nothing PoliticalChick01 Dating 19 July 16,2009 9:02pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:35am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0