wavestarved is offline wavestarved Post #1  October 8,2010, 5:09pm
wavestarved's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 65

See profile

so we have our first date, everything's great, great chemistry, eye contact, body language. I *know* we're clicking. she asks me to walk her to her car, and gives me the green light on the kiss. I go for it. We txt the next couple of days to set up another date, she seems clearly interested and says she'll let me know when, when she gets her schedule. 4 days later, and nothing. I called and left a message after 3 days (so, yesterday), asking if she wanted to get together. I don't get it, I have never felt such a strong "she's into me" vibe on a date, and she seemed genuinely interested in another one. what happened?
Sucks, cause of the 7 dates I've had from eharmony in the past couple months, this was the only person I was excited to see again.
 
  Reply With Quote
chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #2  October 8,2010, 5:16pm
chawks64's Avatar

is keeping warm with her Honey.

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Southern Nevada

Posts: 6,735

See profile

Sometimes that just happens. Maybe they had other dates and connected better, maybe they got back together with an ex, maybe they just weren't feeling it the same way. You never know, and they usually just poof. For some reason it seems to happen a lot more when it comes to online dating, and it happens to the best of us.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. It frees you up to find someone that just can't wait for a 2nd with you.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  October 8,2010, 5:21pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

A desirable person has many suiters.

She favored another.

***

Saying she wants to see you and then disappearing is common (this is why you make your own choices, not let a date make them for you.)

***

Personally, I usually send two or three messages before giving up.

Note: in a situation like this, you are vulnerable to being played (by a person communicating only when they are lonely.)
 
  Reply With Quote
Mythical is offline Mythical Post #4  October 8,2010, 5:27pm
Mythical's Avatar

wonders abound

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 209

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
(this is why you make your own choices, not let a date make them for you.)
What exactly do you mean by this? That I choose the next date?
 
  Reply With Quote
wavestarved is offline wavestarved Post #5  October 8,2010, 5:27pm
wavestarved's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 65

See profile

Yeah, I figured she probably met someone else, but she didn't seem like the kind of person to not tell me that. I guess I'm old fashioned or something, but I always let someone know if I am no longer interested. I mean how hard is it to send a text.
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #6  October 8,2010, 5:33pm
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

wrote :
she seems clearly interested and says she'll let me know when, when she gets her schedule
Cleary interested would given you a day...

Check my schedule is code for option #1 hasn't called yet.. either that or she is playing hard to get..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 8,2010 at 5:36pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #7  October 8,2010, 6:37pm
javajava5's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 3,320

See profile

wavestarved wrote :
so we have our first date, everything's great, great chemistry, eye contact, body language. I *know* we're clicking. she asks me to walk her to her car, and gives me the green light on the kiss. I go for it. We txt the next couple of days to set up another date, she seems clearly interested and says she'll let me know when, when she gets her schedule. 4 days later, and nothing. I called and left a message after 3 days (so, yesterday), asking if she wanted to get together. I don't get it, I have never felt such a strong "she's into me" vibe on a date, and she seemed genuinely interested in another one. what happened?
Sucks, cause of the 7 dates I've had from eharmony in the past couple months, this was the only person I was excited to see again.
Dear WaveStarved,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice (eHA) and thanks for posting.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're in good company though because it has happened to so many and for reasons unknown. There's thread-after-thread here on this very topic - not that that eases your pain. It's just you're not alone in it happening is all.

Now, we'll never know why she hasn't gotten back to you unless she tells you which isn't likely to happen.

We could guess 'til the cows come home and still never know.

The part that is a bit confusing is when she says she'll let you know after she gets her schedule. Does this mean she has some kind of job with variable hours and she never knows when she will have to work from one week to the next? If that's not the case, then how can one basically not know what their schedule is unless they're dancing to some employer's tune?

That was good that you called and left a message. That shows good manners. So good to see you're a person of your word - even if she isn't.

Of course, there's the very off-chance that something happened to her - but highly unlikely - and you are giving her time in case of this.

Continue your communication with your eHarmony matches and others - whether on the internet or in real life.

Not all girls are like this. Take hope. Take heart. You will find a lady who is just as excited to be with you as you are with her and who doesn't drop off with no further word.

Wishing you well.

JavaJava5
Last edited by javajava5; October 9,2010 at 1:22am.
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #8  October 8,2010, 6:48pm
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

It's very interesting to me that there seems to be a lot of online daters who expect some sort of communication, even if it's "no," and that there seems to be an equal number who think it's ok to just "poof!"

How can the first group convince the second group to be more considerate?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  October 8,2010, 7:09pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

annother wrote :
How can the first group convince the second group to be more considerate?

By going to their house, sitting on their couch, watching a playoff game with them in our arms, drinking their Beer, and caressing their CENSORED, and CENSORED, and ...
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #10  October 8,2010, 7:13pm
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
By going to their house, sitting on their couch, watching a playoff game with them in our arms, drinking their Beer, and caressing their CENSORED, and CENSORED, and ...
Oh, you sweet-talker, you...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Is he interested? | Dating | Am I wrong? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
guys, what happened? javagirl67 Using eHarmony 5 November 7,2010 9:07pm
What happened to all the threads?? Angelgal Christian women need christian men 2 September 19,2010 2:53am
Was I wrong, and what happened? Ahava1979 Relationships 6 May 5,2010 11:37pm
It happened again... bwr Using eHarmony 18 August 28,2009 6:11pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:34am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0