Is there a difference between dating Younger vs. Older guys?!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  October 8,2010, 5:19am
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Curious if there is a difference between dating younger versus older guys. Someone pointed out to me that since I have always dated much older guys, there are things that I could be assuming about "dating" that doesn't hold true for the younger crowd if I were to expand my dating pool in that direction .

I'm very interested in understanding if people have dated both younger (let's say 5-10 years or more) and older (let's say 10-20 years), if you have found a significant difference in exactly "how" they date you... and, whether or not you found yourself dating them any differently!
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #2  October 8,2010, 5:34am
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jussmile wrote :
Curious if there is a difference between dating younger versus older guys. Someone pointed out to me that since I have always dated much older guys, there are things that I could be assuming about "dating" that doesn't hold true for the younger crowd if I were to expand my dating pool in that direction .

I'm very interested in understanding if people have dated both younger (let's say 5-10 years or more) and older (let's say 10-20 years), if you have found a significant difference in exactly "how" they date you... and, whether or not you found yourself dating them any differently!
This is only coming from my own personal experiences, so bare with me here...

I have dated both men 10 yerars younger than me, as well as 10 years older than me. I have come to the conclusion that, personally, I'm better off with someone with 4/5 years of my own age. But here's why (and remember, this is just from my experiences only - and I'm not saying all younger/older men are like this):

I date a man that was 10 years older than me. He was a true gentleman, a good guy. I did like him and care for him a lot. However, because of his age he was slightly bitter, and he was always too tired to go out and do things with me. He also needed to take Viagra....

Then a dated a guy 10 years younger than me. He spent his weekends partying until 3am with his buddies, and also played all those 'games' that we all hate so much. Another thing he did was rely on this friends opinions too much ("My friends say this..." "My friends say I should do that..." and so on)

Just my experience....
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  October 8,2010, 5:51am
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After you get some responses here, go back to your old threads and compare what you thought back then.


(How old is TOO old... Really?!!)How old is TOO old... Really?!!

(I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter?)I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter?

(how many women would date older men... say 5-10 yrs)how many women would date older men... say 5-10 yrs
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 8,2010 at 5:54am.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  October 8,2010, 6:11am
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Younger = Less baggage, less set in their ways, less experience
Older = as long as they don't have messy divorces, drinking problems, etc.
Why not look at core essentials , such as integrity, psychosocial / emotion health.
Depends on your age group, also.
jussmile wrote :
Curious if there is a difference between dating younger versus older guys. Someone pointed out to me that since I have always dated much older guys, there are things that I could be assuming about "dating" that doesn't hold true for the younger crowd if I were to expand my dating pool in that direction .

I'm very interested in understanding if people have dated both younger (let's say 5-10 years or more) and older (let's say 10-20 years), if you have found a significant difference in exactly "how" they date you... and, whether or not you found yourself dating them any differently!
 
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charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #5  October 8,2010, 6:45am
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I've found older guys that like to date much younger (10+ to 20 years) are assuming they are going to take care of their mate. They will pay for dates, and actually are a bit hurt if you offer to pay for things. Perhaps they figure that's what they bring to the table, while their younger matches bring youth and vibrancy. It has a bit more of a mentor/mentee type of feeling. I found that if I attempt to take charge of a situation they are not as comfortable as when they are in charge.

I haven't dated younger, but the guys my age that I date tend to be looking for a more equal partner. If they are financially much better off than I am they still insist on paying for dates, but aren't hurt if I offer. They don't seem to be as intimidated by a woman with the means to take care of herself, and most actually consider it a plus. The whole relationship is more of a buddies type of feeling.

I wonder if dating much younger would bring the dynamic back to the mentor/mentee type of relationship, with me being the mentor.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #6  October 8,2010, 8:14am
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There is a huge difference. I read, and agreed with, something recently about guys and how they age. I guy changes just as much from age 18 to 28 as he does from age 8 to 18. I actually think it's a little more so. The only real difference in a guy between age 8 and 18 is that he likes girls now and plays with video games instead of toys. Don't get me wrong, 28 year olds still play video games, but they are at or nearing a stage where they take life seriously. They have careers, kids, savings accounts with more than 100 dollars, 401(k), brand new cars, etc.

I know Facebook is a bad source to cite, but in this case, maybe not so bad. One of the young 20something females' favorite past times is complaining how much guys their age play games and are immature. Not so much with the 30 and over crowd. Sure, there are guys who will never grow up (me included), but the game playing is minimized because a lot of guys 28 and older are starting to show interest in establishing roots if they haven't already done so.
 
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RockSteady is offline RockSteady Post #7  October 8,2010, 8:28am
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Its not that simple, there's differences between dating each guy. Plain and simple. Are there commonalities? Sure. But you can't pigeonhole every guy so easily, there will always be (at least) one to throw a tangent to each & every preconceived idea.

But, we all know this, right? What's my point? Assumption is a mother. You've heard the saying.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  October 8,2010, 8:34am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
After you get some responses here, go back to your old threads and compare what you thought back then.


(How old is TOO old... Really?!!)How old is TOO old... Really?!!

(I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter?)I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter?

(how many women would date older men... say 5-10 yrs)how many women would date older men... say 5-10 yrs
Thanks for the advice. I had actually thought about these threads before I posted the new one... none of them address if there is a difference in exactly "how" you date the older vs. younger guy, or "how" they would date you. This is something I started thinking about after getting advice that I may be approaching my "openness" to dating younger guys now (per my thread... I don't date younger guys...), that I might actually be trying to date them the same way I date the older guys, and I should approach it differently.

From the sounds of the couple of others who have posted... you actually should approach dating younger vs. older differently.

Had a conversation with my mom this morning, and we talked about this exact same subject. I am 36, and she encouraged me to only date guys 50 and above. She just thinks guys in that range are just a lot more chivalrous and less immature (i.e. less into playing games) than guys my age or younger. One example that we discussed was opening the door for you...

I have found that guys in their 20's, haven't opened the door for me either when walking to the car, or when we arrive at the place.

Guys in their 30's have typically opened the door when they walk you to the car, but they do not open the door when you arrive.

Guys in their 40's have tended to open the door to the car, but have been mixed when you arrive at the place. one guy told me that it depends on the situation and how you are dressed. if you're dressed up, wearing heels, etc. he said he opens the door on the other end, if you're just going for a walk or something... then he doesn't.

Then, the guys in their 50's have always opened the door, in every situation. There were a few occassions where I would open the door once we arrived, and they would try to go faster to get the door for me. One guy (actually 2!) told me that if I waited, he could get the door. It is not something they think they have to do... it is something they want to do.

This is just one example of noticed differences. I have dated lots, and lots of guys over the last year. and this is my observation only. Obviously, each person is different, and this is such a little thing.

I only dated 2 guys in their 20's (27 & 29)... so that probably doesn't count for anything.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  October 8,2010, 8:50am
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jussmile wrote :

Then, the guys in their 50's have always opened the door, in every situation. There were a few occassions where I would open the door once we arrived, and they would try to go faster to get the door for me. One guy (actually 2!) told me that if I waited, he could get the door. It is not something they think they have to do... it is something they want to do.
I think that is correct.
I grew up in a time when most parents made it their duty to instill manners in their kids...something that's not particularly fashionable now. It just isn't.
i saw how my dad treated my mom, and other women..he had respect and was helpful toward them..and he had been taught that by his parents...
I try to show my son these same values, and I hope that it will eventually, take hold.(knock on wood)

Example: how many kids do you see wearing a hat, baseball cap.. in a restaurant? Even "adults" do it.
Sounds frivilous, petty to talk about but there were things my dad taught me that were signs of being a gentleman...and it's like it's all uncool now...passe.

Not saying you have to refer to Miss manners every time you make a move.
It's different now.
It is.
This is not the world I grew up in, not by a long shot.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #10  October 8,2010, 9:11am
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TheThinker wrote :
Not saying you have to refer to Miss manners every time you make a move.
It's different now.
It is.
This is not the world I grew up in, not by a long shot.

... and that is why I started dating older guys... there is something sexy, sexy to me about a gentleman... a real gentleman.

Maybe you can find that in a younger guy? I dunno... I haven't dated enough of them to really be informed. I was just going off of my own perceptions and stereotypes, that said I couldn't find what I was looking for in a younger guy... and I didn't want to do that.
 
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