Dating and first times....


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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #1  October 7,2010, 4:36pm
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This is something I have kind of been wondering about lately. I was debating whether or not to ask this question, but decided it might be helpful to me.

I am divorced. I have not had sex with anyone in about 2 1/2 years. Almost 3 years. After I decided I was ready to date, I have had about 6-7 dates with men, 2 dates with 3 of them.

I haven't progressed to the point that sex was going to happen. Came close once (hard to explain the situation), but didn't happen. I have to say, I am looking forward to the day when it finally happens for me. Just haven't met the right person yet.

Anyway, my question is this: I know that there is some kind of a stigma attached to virgins. In my opinion, wrongly......but that's not the point here. I am wondering, if men find out that a woman hasn't been with someone for a very long time, if they feel it is kind of a burden to be the first person. You know.....and then maybe even poof?

Or......would men rather not know? Just let it happen?

In one way, I would want the person to know, in case I get nervous and then they would know why.

In another way, just letting it happen, doesn't put any expectations on anyone.

The reason I put this in the Dating forum is because I think that many women/men may have these same questions. Or.....not. Maybe, it's only me. Lol.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #2  October 7,2010, 4:55pm
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And....no.....I don't mean right off the bat. Lol. (just in case anyone was wondering)

I mean as it gets close to knowing that you really like someone and would like for it to happen.
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #3  October 7,2010, 4:57pm
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Oh dear. You were married. You are not a virgin. As long as you are not a complete virgin, it's not going to freak a man out. Length of time since last shouldn't affect their opinion of you, 3 years isn't that horrible...unless you tell him you did the delivery boy at lunch.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #4  October 7,2010, 5:04pm
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Well....good grief. Lol. I know I am not a virgin. Hardly.

Well......3 years seems like a long time to me.
 
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Mythical is offline Mythical Post #5  October 7,2010, 5:04pm
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Don't worry about it. If the subject comes up, talk about it. But don't worry. Make a big deal about it and you'll turn it into an issue.

Once you've learned to ride a bicycle you don't forget how.
 
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Mythical is offline Mythical Post #6  October 7,2010, 5:04pm
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double post. I swear i hit the button ONCE!!
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #7  October 7,2010, 5:05pm
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Well, three years isn't ten and a half...!

I think the only thing I'd caution against is that the longer the drought, the more likely you might have a tendency to overlook some issues in your date that shouldn't be overlooked?

By the way, congrats on your dating success! You're well on your way to finding someone special again.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  October 7,2010, 5:09pm
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I do favor trying to strategize the meeting to be conducive to intimacy.

So, I make mine Friday or Saturday. When sex seems in the cards, I try to make it so that it will be more than once over the weekend.

I do agree that a first time with someone new is often dissapointing. For this reason, I want to sleep together as well; more often than not, the next few times is better.

***

I would keep the nature, manner , and timing of experience to yourself.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #9  October 7,2010, 5:11pm
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pammersw wrote :
Well, three years isn't ten and a half...!

I think the only thing I'd caution against is that the longer the drought, the more likely you might have a tendency to overlook some issues in your date that shouldn't be overlooked?

By the way, congrats on your dating success! You're well on your way to finding someone special again.
Lol! Pammers......I hear you. No, I have been able to keep my wits about me..........so far!
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #10  October 7,2010, 5:16pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I do favor trying to strategize the meeting to be conducive to intimacy.

So, I make mine Friday or Saturday. When sex seems in the cards, I try to make it so that it will be more than once over the weekend.

Lol. Well, I will keep this in mind. Maybe I will take it upon myself to ask him out and make it a Friday or Saturday. lol.

I do agree that a first time with someone new is often dissapointing. For this reason, I want to sleep together as well; more often than not, the next few times is better.
***

I would keep the nature, manner , and timing of experience to yourself.
Yeah, I think that is the best.

Stupid question?
 
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