Payback? Well, I shouldn't gloat, but I kinda am.


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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #1  October 7,2010, 1:30am
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I have a business acquaintance that offered to set me up with a supposed primo single. I respond saying I don't do setups. She responds by saying let me give you a picture; she is SO your type and I've told her about you and she really wants to meet you. (She's a foreign-born brunette (Persian) and is partner in a success orthodontist practice.) I say, okay, meh, whatever, give me the pic.

Wow, turns out I "knew" her. We had corresponded twice via online dating, separated by about six months. Twice we had back-n-forth ending with a suggestion to meet; once I give a time and place, bang - 'poof.' (And why did I try twice - I was fascinated by her profile, and gave it a second go after I had completely redone my profile.)

I relate the above story and say I'll pass as a result. My refutation was met with a bit of shock and "you've got to be kidding" and "but she didn't know you." I say doesn't matter; I considered it rude and unbecoming; had she simply said "sorry, I've lost interest" or otherwise gave me closure I would agree to meet her. That she didn't is a window into a mentality I really don't want to deal with as I live my life by the motto, "the real you is what you do when no one is looking."

Ha, ha, probably self-defeating on some level, but I can't help it. The rudeness, games and BS of online dating has left me a bit hardened.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #2  October 7,2010, 4:22am
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I know exactly how you feel. Same kind of thing has happened to me too often.

I used to want to figure out how to get the person to start responding to me again then realized that was not a good idea.

Now I figure if someone doesn't have enough respect for other people they talk to and can't be grown up enough to tell someone they aren't interested in further communication I'm not interested in being in a relationship with them anyway.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #3  October 7,2010, 4:41am
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Very insightful, what you state below.. but cutting off your nose to spite your face isn't going to get you anywhere soon.

Your "rejection" of her was retaliation that you assumed she poofed?

What comes around goes around, your imaginary "rejection" will not even matter to her. She will find some great guy, and who will have the "last laugh" then?

Raw_Truth wrote :
Ha, ha, probably self-defeating on some level, but I can't help it. The rudeness, games and BS of online dating has left me a bit hardened.
 
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primarilyconfused is offline primarilyconfused Post #4  October 7,2010, 5:03am
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I think OP makes a good point. He got to see her in action and she doesn't play nice.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  October 7,2010, 5:11am
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You have to nothing to lose by meeting her.
She may not be anything close to what you imagine her to be and the very fact of the matter is, you really have no clue as to why contact was dropped( at least not by what you've stated)...not really the same as "poofing", IMO.
Think of it this way, you two would have the opportunity, once you recognize each other, to laugh about it.
And you never know, that could start things off in the right direction. I've heard stories like that...many times.

But, if your mind is made up, it's made up I guess.
Too bad, for you.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #6  October 7,2010, 5:13am
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primarilyconfused wrote :
I think OP makes a good point. He got to see her in action and she doesn't play nice.
LOL, that's a nice way of putting it.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  October 7,2010, 5:13am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Very insightful, what you state below.. but cutting off your nose to spite your face isn't going to get you anywhere soon.

Your "rejection" of her was retaliation that you assumed she poofed?

What comes around goes around, your imaginary "rejection" will not even matter to her. She will find some great guy, and who will have the "last laugh" then?
Have to agree with above. Then again, considering how bitter the OP is, he is doing her a huge favor by refusing to meet.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #8  October 7,2010, 5:17am
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DancingFool wrote :
HaThen again, considering how bitter the OP is, he is doing her a huge favor by refusing to meet.
I can't agree that the OP is in the wrong. If she stopped communicating with him (more than once) I think if nothing else that shows a lack of respect for other people on her part. Why get involved with someone like that?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  October 7,2010, 5:25am
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ISearch4Love wrote :
I can't agree that the OP is in the wrong. If she stopped communicating with him (more than once) I think if nothing else that shows a lack of respect for other people on her part. Why get involved with someone like that?
Not saying that the OP is right or wrong, but he is bitter to the core and that's not exactly a positive quality. Even if he went on a date with her, I would think the bitterness over what he sees as a past slight would likely show. He is hands down doing her a favor by steering clear. Actually, he is doing both of them a favor.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #10  October 7,2010, 5:28am

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What I think would be very telling is whether given all the information she would remember you. I say this because if the person placed in front of her now does not seem to be the person she "poofed" on then there is a chance that it is not you but your profile she rejected.

To me one of the biggest failings of online dating is you almost cannot create a profile that shows the real you. You do your best but in the end it is your profile that fails, not you.
 
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