Why hasn't he called?


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Laurabelle is offline Laurabelle Post #1  October 6,2010, 6:55pm
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So, I had a date exactly a week ago with a guy whom I thought was just my type. He and I were both divorced, with kids, and we seemed to really hit it off on the phone, so he invited me to have coffee one night. The coffee date went really well....we talked about everything from our jobs to our divorces, and the date ended with a hug and a "I had a good time, I hope we can do it again sometime" from me. He said "I'd love to get to know you some more....I'll give you a call." So, the next day, I texted the usual "thanks for the coffee, I hope we can do it again sometime, etc." He texted back, "It was wonderful to meet you in person. Have a good weekend. I'll reach out to you next week." So, now it's been seven days, and still no call. I have not called him yet, or texted, but my curiosity is of course getting the better of me. So, why hasn't he called?

Thanks in advance for any opinions or advices. I just don't know if I should send a subtle text or just let it go......HELP!
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  October 6,2010, 7:05pm
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Sad to say, but this seems to be the standard method of ending an online acquaintanceship. On these boards it is know as "poof'ing." When someone just disappears, they go "poof!"

If you want to know why he stopped calling, you could call and ask. Otherwise, just follow up other interesting matches online. You have no obligations to him, nor him to you.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  October 6,2010, 7:07pm
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hes not interested. dont send another text. there is no reason to. i guess it depends on what you are looking for, but i personally with what i am looking for would not be contacting the guy at all. i would have not even sent the first text actually. i'm assuming that you thanked him when you parted ways on your first *date*

do nothing is my advice. but i think you are just looking for people to tell you to contact him because that is what you really want to do. you'll get that here so i predict that you will contact him anyway lol!!
 
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Laurabelle is offline Laurabelle Post #4  October 6,2010, 7:11pm
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I'm really new to the "single dating scene" so I guess I'm naive in a way. I mean if I say I will call someone, I will do that. Boy, I didn't know at 33 I still have to play games. Frustrating! Ha! Thanks for the advices!
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #5  October 6,2010, 7:20pm
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Sorry....

But many will be nice and be generally vague about meeting again which means you are a nice person BUT they arent attracted to you for whatever reason.


He also could have read you and said she isnt interested in me because I am not reading it in her behavior.

Some advice...as with prior posts have said...if you want to see someone again set a date before you say goodbye on the first meeting. If its vague and unscertain and they say "ill call you again" kiss them goodbye.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  October 6,2010, 7:30pm
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annother wrote :
Sad to say, but this seems to be the standard method of ending an online acquaintanceship. On these boards it is know as "poof'ing." When someone just disappears, they go "poof!"

If you want to know why he stopped calling, you could call and ask. Otherwise, just follow up other interesting matches online. You have no obligations to him, nor him to you.
I agree with this. I would send one follow-up text, or give him a call, if you like, but after that, you need to let it go.

It's possible that he got wrapped up in business and forgot about things, but more likely, he was just stepping around the issue (a lack of physical attraction, maybe, or a dealbreaker he discovered on your date?)
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #7  October 6,2010, 9:35pm
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Guys are simple, look at the actions not the words. He said he would call but didn't. That means he wasn't interested enough to call or setup a second date.

Don't call or text anymore.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #8  October 7,2010, 4:32am
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Oh I've posted this in so many similar threads.

There are a lot of really immature people on these sites that aren't grown up enough to say "hay this isn't working for me" so instead they take the cowards way out and just start ignoring you.

Best advise I can give is try not to let it bother you. Nothing you do will change another persons behavior if thats the way they choose to do things.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  October 7,2010, 4:38am
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He knows you are interested and he knows how to reach you. He is not contacting you because he is not that interested in you. In fact in his last txt he pretty blatantly blew you off.

Welcome to dating - with practice you'll grow thicker skin and learn to read between the lines.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #10  October 7,2010, 4:58am
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Yep....vague...coming from a man or a woman...usually means that they just aren't interested...

We all wish everyone would just be kind, and upfront and honest...but this is the world of dating...I agree with the others that say to always pay attention to the actions...not the words...

I personally wouldn't text back...just move on to the next, hopefully wonderful date!

Good luck
 
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