Always hard to tell someone you want t move on


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Shantak is offline Shantak Post #1  October 6,2010, 11:45am
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So met a girl through eHarm, went for 2 dates and they were good dates, lots of fun, but not someone I would have thought of as relationship material.

Mainly because she constantly questioned me if I was mad at her or not, would say she would call then wouldn't and then would complain that I didn't call her the day she said she would call. Oh and she licked my face during a kiss and when I said please don't do that she replied, I like that so get used to it. She tried it again and I said do not do that again and she dropped it. Most of her behavior I would kinda expect from someone in their early 20s, but she was 38, so it was really odd.

So yesterday, she leaves me 3 messages on my phone while I am at work (I told her to text me at work as I cannot always answer the phone) and one on my bike ride home, all why aren't you calling me or returning my calls. I sent her an email saying it was great getting to know you, I had a lot of fun on our dates, but this is not working out for me and I wish you the best in finding someone who fits with you, but unfortunately that is not me.

I know that was slightly cowardly, not calling her, but honestly I didn't want to be called a baby or a looser again (she does this affectionately I guess).

But at least I didn't poof, I hate when people poof on me. But I really hate doing this, I end uo feeling bad for it.

Just wanted to vent (not angrily) and share.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #2  October 6,2010, 11:49am
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SHE IS A CONTROLL FREAK....MOVE ON ON.

jUST TELL HER YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED AND DONT HAVE THE FEELING FOR HER ...JUST SAY IT AND MOVE ON
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  October 6,2010, 11:58am

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um, i think he did move on.
Last edited by scarlet13; October 6,2010 at 12:00pm. Reason: why are you shouting?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  October 6,2010, 12:01pm

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Shantak wrote :
So met a girl through eHarm, went for 2 dates and they were good dates, lots of fun, but not someone I would have thought of as relationship material.

Mainly because she constantly questioned me if I was mad at her or not, would say she would call then wouldn't and then would complain that I didn't call her the day she said she would call. Oh and she licked my face during a kiss and when I said please don't do that she replied, I like that so get used to it. She tried it again and I said do not do that again and she dropped it. Most of her behavior I would kinda expect from someone in their early 20s, but she was 38, so it was really odd.

So yesterday, she leaves me 3 messages on my phone while I am at work (I told her to text me at work as I cannot always answer the phone) and one on my bike ride home, all why aren't you calling me or returning my calls. I sent her an email saying it was great getting to know you, I had a lot of fun on our dates, but this is not working out for me and I wish you the best in finding someone who fits with you, but unfortunately that is not me.

I know that was slightly cowardly, not calling her, but honestly I didn't want to be called a baby or a looser again (she does this affectionately I guess).

But at least I didn't poof, I hate when people poof on me. But I really hate doing this, I end uo feeling bad for it.

Just wanted to vent (not angrily) and share.
eh, i don't think it was cowardly.

considering her behavior, if you did call her it would probably turn into some huge drama of some sort.

oh, and the face licking is grody.
 
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Shantak is offline Shantak Post #5  October 6,2010, 12:05pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
eh, i don't think it was cowardly.

considering her behavior, if you did call her it would probably turn into some huge drama of some sort.

oh, and the face licking is grody.
Totally grody.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  October 6,2010, 12:05pm
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Was thinking the same thing. After two dates it was nice that you let her know at all and given her crazy behavior, it was the safest option. Hope for your sake that she accepts that and moves on rather than freaking out on you some more.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #7  October 6,2010, 12:20pm
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Not cowardly at all, given the nut-job behavior, probably a smart move. Great story.

Thank God..you didn't make the same typo I once did, instead of:

"Good Luck" I wrote "Good Lick", only noticed it after I hit the send button .....

Shantak wrote :

Oh and she licked my face during a kiss and when I said please don't do that she replied, I like that so get used to it. She tried it again

I know that was slightly cowardly, not calling her, but honestly I didn't want to be called a baby or a looser again (she does this
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #8  October 6,2010, 12:26pm
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your text to her sounds reasonable, given her behavior, etc. it was nice of you to at least tell her you were not interested in dating her again and not poof on her.

I think it sounds fine.
 
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hippychick34 is offline hippychick34 Post #9  October 6,2010, 12:30pm
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It is hard and uncomfortable but I am wondering, what is it we owe to someone we have only been on two dates with? I mean I guess if you were talking several times a day, every day, maybe. And I don't think it was cowardly at all by text and I think you were very honest without being mean so leave the guilt behind and consider it a favor to both of you. I agree with the person who said it probably would have been a lot of unnecessary drama if you actually called her.
 
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Shantak is offline Shantak Post #10  October 6,2010, 2:18pm
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hippychick34 wrote :
It is hard and uncomfortable but I am wondering, what is it we owe to someone we have only been on two dates with?
Well maybe 10% of the matches I start communication with actually make it to any kind of open communication, so the few out of that 10% that I actually date, it has relevance to make an effort.

On Sunday I went out with a girl who gets about 10 emails a day and goes out on 3-4 dates a week (just meet and greets), and she isn't the only girl I have heard that from. SZ if that is the norm or close to the norm for most girls on eHarm, the fact that they chose to actually see if there was anything with me must mean something. But just based on a numbers game, I seriously debate any person I date afterwards.

This one however had controlling issues for the entire time, I was already planning on ending it before the 4 messages in a day, that was just the icing.
 
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