so...is it my turn to plan something?


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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #1  October 4,2010, 12:23pm
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happy monday, everyone! I had a second great date with a guy I like on friday night, and I'm wondering if it's my turn to plan something...not sure. I usually overplan/overthink everything and absolutely don't want to be that girl this time. don't want to chase him and ruin things, as I've done with, um, two or three other guys this summer. *blush*

he did all the planning for our first and second dates, and we had an absolutely fantastic second date this past friday night. he's texted me every day since then, sending cute notes, but we haven't made any solid plans for our next get together. I did mention that I have tix to a play in three weeks and he said he'd be totally into that if he could get a sitter for his kids. and I thought really cute was that he bought tickets for a concert for a favorite artist in december out of town, and mentioned on friday night that he can't wait for me to see the concert with him. so I love that he bought the tickets (for my b-day weekend no less, and he knew it was my b-day weekend) before we even had our second date.

I have my son tonight, and he has his kids on wednesday and then all weekend, so tuesday and thursday are the only nights that we both have free this week.

I am okay with hanging out and waiting for him to make plans again. Is that the best way to go? Or should I suggest something fun? he absolutely adores music, and there is a good concert at a local bar on thursday night, so I could throw that out there. hmmmm...not sure...

thoughts? I really need the advice. otherwise, I might look pushy to a guy that I really, really like.

I know this sounds crazy, but I like this guy better than anyone I've dated all year. He texted me a note yesterday that said, "me, too, honey" about how much fun he had on our date and I swear my tummy did fifteen flips just reading that note. That's how I knew how much I like him.

Oh, and for the record, no more multi-dating...this one is the one I want!

(he's the former bartender turned RN. he's so cool.)
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  October 4,2010, 12:31pm
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That's great scully! So Mr. horse farmer is out of the picture? Just make sure he knows that...lol....

I would first say...take a deep breath....don't jump in too deep too quickly....I know you are excited and it sounds like you two are hitting it off really well...but after your heartbreak just a bit ago..and then sounding this excited about Horse man...I just get worried that you are wanting to be with someone so badly that you are latching on too quickly to whomever is showing the most interest...

I say that with care for you..I am not trying to be Debbie Downer...just throwing in some realism after reading all your posts on here....

So..please try to just take it one day at a time....and as far as the 3rd date...I say sure...have fun planning something for you both..I'm sure he will enjoy it...

I wish you luck
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  October 4,2010, 12:36pm
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wrote :
I suggest something fun? he absolutely adores music, and there is a good concert at a local bar on thursday night, so I could throw that out there. hmmmm...not sure...
Yes... throw this out there.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #4  October 4,2010, 12:42pm
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thanks, guys! I guess i will throw that suggestion out there, then. I'll wait until he texts me again. he ended up in the ER with a slashed finger this morning (from a soup can, no less!) so our contact today is a little different than usual since he's had the pain thing going on.

and I know, I know...I was interested in a few different guys of late, but a lot of it was putting a band-aid over the hurt I was feeling from my breakup with the other guy I dated for 10 weeks this past summer. broke up with him two months ago, but for the first month afterward, I was really trying to just not feel sad over not being with him. was just talking about that with my BFF this morning. she had seen it, too. the firefighter, for one, was a huge band-aid. started dating him 10 days after my breakup and I was absolutely just looking for someone to make me feel better. I kind of knew it at the time, but didn't want to admit it to anyone.

and then, one morning, I realized I didn't feel sad over the other ex anymore, that I simply was just enjoying life and dating. and while I did like the horse farm guy, he is still on vacation and didn't respond to a message I left last week, so I don't think he's pining away for me in florida, lol!

and meanwhile, I met this guy and, well, it feels different. I could keep dating 2-3 guys, but I simply don't want to. this guy isn't the most handsome, or the richest, but he is absolutely fascinating to me and incredibly cute, to me, and I don't even want to share the moments that made our time together so incredible. that's something for tell-it-all me.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #5  October 4,2010, 12:50pm
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Thanks for taking my comments as intended...I really hope that things keep going well for you with this man..

And I wanna hear about those incredible moments!! LOL...
 
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2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #6  October 4,2010, 1:06pm
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I vote for doing something different--letting things unfold at a slower pace where you can be sure to enjoy the scenery and the journey. I am a bit of a "dive in first" kind of person but of late I have learned to savor moments, revel in budding feelings and un-plan and de-schedule -- not for "game playing" purposes but just because I'm operating in a slower gear when it comes to relationships. And also because of that definition of insanity that equates it to doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results.

Keep up regular contact; keep up the cues that you are as interested as he, toss out things you'd like to share but don't worry about this week's schedule/free time/date slots.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #7  October 4,2010, 1:06pm
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scully98 wrote :
happy monday, everyone! I had a second great date with a guy I like on friday night, and I'm wondering if it's my turn to plan something...not sure. I usually overplan/overthink everything and absolutely don't want to be that girl this time. don't want to chase him and ruin things, as I've done with, um, two or three other guys this summer. *blush*

he did all the planning for our first and second dates, and we had an absolutely fantastic second date this past friday night. he's texted me every day since then, sending cute notes, but we haven't made any solid plans for our next get together. I did mention that I have tix to a play in three weeks and he said he'd be totally into that if he could get a sitter for his kids. and I thought really cute was that he bought tickets for a concert for a favorite artist in december out of town,and mentioned on friday night that he can't wait for me to see the concert with him. so I love that he bought the tickets (for my b-day weekend no less, and he knew it was my b-day weekend) before we even had our second date.

I have my son tonight, and he has his kids on wednesday and then all weekend, so tuesday and thursday are the only nights that we both have free this week.

I am okay with hanging out and waiting for him to make plans again. Is that the best way to go? Or should I suggest something fun? he absolutely adores music, and there is a good concert at a local bar on thursday night, so I could throw that out there. hmmmm...not sure...

thoughts? I really need the advice. otherwise, I might look pushy to a guy that I really, really like.

I know this sounds crazy, but I like this guy better than anyone I've dated all year. He texted me a note yesterday that said, "me, too, honey" about how much fun he had on our date and I swear my tummy did fifteen flips just reading that note. That's how I knew how much I like him.

Oh, and for the record, no more multi-dating...this one is the one I want!

(he's the former bartender turned RN. he's so cool.)
Looks like another case of heads-over-heels for both of you. He bought tickets for a concert in December before your second date? As a quasi-birthday date/present? That seems presumptuous, perhaps a little over the top or obsessive. It's certainly not taking the relationship slowly, anyway.

Not that I know you at all, but it seems like you're falling again fast for yet another guy, who is paying lots of attention to you. Not sure that has served you well in the past. You might want to pump your brakes a bit.

Besides, I'm sort of rooting for the horse guy. Maybe because he's NOT beating your door down, he might be a bit more "stable" (sorry for the pun!)
 
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curiousgirl123 is offline curiousgirl123 Post #8  October 4,2010, 1:21pm
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Just enjoy the ride! At least you have plenty of decent guys as options. Most of the people on the board are complaining for barely having any . I would agree with keeping an eye on the intensity lever though, the too much too soon thing.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  October 4,2010, 7:29pm
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I don't think planning a date has to be a big deal. Now is a good time to suggest doing something casual like going to see a movie and grabbing a bite to eat before or after.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #10  October 5,2010, 10:40am
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thanks for all the input! I decided against making any specific suggestions, liking the slower pace idea. He's been busy texting me yesterday and today with cute notes and fun messages, so I know he's thinking of me, and I will just let the next in-person date happen at its own time. we talked about fave songs a lot in our texts yesterday, and he said he has a few songs he wants to play for me on our next date, etc. so...there will be a next date and I'll just let him make the plans. he seems very comfortable in that role. and it keeps me from chasing, as I have done in the past.

gosh, I like dating. so much fun to get to know someone new, esp someone as cool as this guy.
 
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