Another last minute first meeting cancellation...


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SweetKisses is offline SweetKisses Post #1  October 2,2010, 3:04pm
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I had a first meeting planned with someone for today and he sends me a text message about 3 hours before our agreed meeting time saying that he really wants to meet me, but he just realized that the meeting location we had agreed to was over an hour away, so he'd like to postpone our meeting to next week when he'll be in town visiting some other people.

I understand that it's inconvenient to have to drive over an hour to meet someone, but we agreed on the location a few days ago and he's had time to Mapquest it or whatever. I just think it's bad form to wait until the day of and then cancel because you just realized it's further than you wanted to drive. I completely understand that he doesn't owe me anything considering that we haven't even met yet, but his last minute cancellation is still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Should I give him another shot if he contacts me when he's in town or forget about him and move on to the next? Due to various circumstances, there is not much flexibility about where we can meet so if he thinks it's too far of a drive now, that won't be changing any time soon.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  October 2,2010, 3:10pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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SweetKisses wrote :
I had a first meeting planned with someone for today and he sends me a text message about 3 hours before our agreed meeting time saying that he really wants to meet me, but he just realized that the meeting location we had agreed to was over an hour away, so he'd like to postpone our meeting to next week when he'll be in town visiting some other people.

I understand that it's inconvenient to have to drive over an hour to meet someone, but we agreed on the location a few days ago and he's had time to Mapquest it or whatever. I just think it's bad form to wait until the day of and then cancel because you just realized it's further than you wanted to drive. I completely understand that he doesn't owe me anything considering that we haven't even met yet, but his last minute cancellation is still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Should I give him another shot if he contacts me when he's in town or forget about him and move on to the next? Due to various circumstances, there is not much flexibility about where we can meet so if he thinks it's too far of a drive now, that won't be changing any time soon.
You have little to lose by meeting him. Though, at the same time I'd give 2:1 odds that his excuse was B.S. and he simply wanted to do something else.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  October 2,2010, 3:19pm
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I'd meet him next weekend, but it would be with less enthusiasm than if he had kept the first date.

I agree that he should have known earlier how far the drive would be, and I also agree with jayjay that he probably had some other event (or date) nearer to home that he preferred to attend.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  October 2,2010, 3:19pm
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To me, that was an insult to say that he doesn't feel like driving an hour to see you...but when he comes in to see other people that he likes...he will fit you in then...

Yea...I call BS on this one too...Sorry but it's not just the cancellation that bothers me on this one as that can truly happen once in awhile..

But I agree with you...if he can't muster up the 'effort' now to meet you..I can't see how it would work long term...

And yes..I understand to those who will say.."but why don't you drive to meet him?"...it's the point that it was already arranged to do it this way...

Personally..if you don't have a fun, giddy, feeling about meeting him...I would move on to someone else who is excited to meet you, and you them...
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  October 2,2010, 3:23pm
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I understand you being disappointed with him cancelling on you at the last minute. I think most people would be a lil annoyed, but would simply make other plans or chill for the rest of the day/eve.

However, I do think that there will be future issues between the both of you in regards to the distance and lack of flexibility on you part. An hours drive is a distance plus wear and tear on one's vehicle, not to mention gas isn't cheap. Add in meeting someone that you may or may not see again after the first meet and I can see why he renig'd on the meet/greet.

As for meeting him next week, I say it wouldn't hurt you to do so, but I do think you and this guy need to talk and make sure that the distance will not be in issue before meeting.

B.Y.
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #6  October 2,2010, 3:25pm
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My take on it is a man who chooses not to drive an hour to meet me, isn't a man I'd want to get to know, as this is an indication of what he respects and values...and doesn't.
Last edited by pamcam; October 2,2010 at 3:28pm.
 
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SweetKisses is offline SweetKisses Post #7  October 2,2010, 3:38pm
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BabyYoda wrote :
However, I do think that there will be future issues between the both of you in regards to the distance and lack of flexibility on you part. An hours drive is a distance plus wear and tear on one's vehicle, not to mention gas isn't cheap. Add in meeting someone that you may or may not see again after the first meet and I can see why he renig'd on the meet/greet.
I think all of you have made good points. Ideally, I don't want to date someone who lives more than an hour away, but he seemed like a cool guy. He initiated contact with me, he saw where I lived on my profile, and he's the one who suggested that we meet and was initally fine with the location, so it just annoyed me that he canceled at the last minute. I wasn't surprised because I know this kind of thing happens often with online dating, but it was somewhat disappointing. I just wanted to know if you all were also thinking he could've handled the situation differently or if maybe I was being too hard on him.
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #8  October 2,2010, 3:39pm
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SweetKisses wrote :
I had a first meeting planned with someone for today and he sends me a text message about 3 hours before our agreed meeting time saying that he really wants to meet me, but he just realized that the meeting location we had agreed to was over an hour away, so he'd like to postpone our meeting to next week when he'll be in town visiting some other people.

I understand that it's inconvenient to have to drive over an hour to meet someone, but we agreed on the location a few days ago and he's had time to Mapquest it or whatever. I just think it's bad form to wait until the day of and then cancel because you just realized it's further than you wanted to drive. I completely understand that he doesn't owe me anything considering that we haven't even met yet, but his last minute cancellation is still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Should I give him another shot if he contacts me when he's in town or forget about him and move on to the next? Due to various circumstances, there is not much flexibility about where we can meet so if he thinks it's too far of a drive now, that won't be changing any time soon.
That's incredibly rude on his part, if he suddenly got ill or some such thing that would be understandable. So how far is the meeting place from where you live? I always make the first meeting half way between both of us.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #9  October 2,2010, 4:16pm
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If you were interested would you give such an excuse? Nope.

IMO, he no longer exists as far as you're concerned.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #10  October 2,2010, 4:23pm
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This raises the question, what kind of cancellation is acceptable?

I also had a cancellation this weekend, but he called to explain three days ago and I'm ok with that.
 
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