what in the world is "Casual" DATING?!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  September 30,2010, 6:44pm
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Okay, I've had 2 guys contact me in the last day talking about "casual" dating. The first guy specifically asked me what I was looking for with the online dating thing... I told him that I am looking to find someone that I can enjoy a relationship with. He responded that he's looking for a "casual" relationship right now, and said that does not mean sex. The second guy told me that most guys on this particular site that I am a member of, are looking for "casual" relationships, and they can be a lot of fun !

So, I started thinking about what does it mean to be in a "casual" dating situation. Does that mean I just date a bunch of people, and enjoy the dating experience? Okay, check I'm already doing that. So, am I casual dating?

For me, I do hope that one of these dates will just click, and will begin an awesome relationship. But, I don't think that you know that from the beginning, you enjoy the date and the person, in hopes that he might be someone whom you can form a committed, fun relationship with. But, I don't think this is "casual" dating because I do want to be in a relationship, and I am dating, having fun, wanting to find someone I can be in an exclusive/committed (whatever the right word is) relationship with.

If you're not "casual" dating, does that mean each date is an interview to determine whether he's the one? I don't think that's it either. So, the term "casual" dating is somewhat baffling to me.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 30,2010, 6:47pm
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I see your point.

The term is imprecise (but then, so is "relationship.")

I think, when people attempt to use an imprecise term as a definition for what they are doing, the right reply is to ask them what they mean.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  September 30,2010, 7:00pm
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jussmile wrote :
Okay, I've had 2 guys contact me in the last day talking about "casual" dating. The first guy specifically asked me what I was looking for with the online dating thing... I told him that I am looking to find someone that I can enjoy a relationship with. He responded that he's looking for a "casual" relationship right now, and said that does not mean sex. The second guy told me that most guys on this particular site that I am a member of, are looking for "casual" relationships, and they can be a lot of fun !
are those your thoughts or his?
the "and they can be a lot of fun" with the smiley face?
When someone says "casual" dating...outside of a FWB thing(which I don't condone)...it means dating just to go out and have fun, dancing, movies, restaurants, day trips, whatever...without any romance implied or assumed...
but I may be wrong...
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  September 30,2010, 7:02pm
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TheThinker wrote :
are those your thoughts or his?
the "and they can be a lot of fun" with the smiley face?
I added the smiley face... the words are his though .
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #5  September 30,2010, 7:10pm
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To me it is an indicator that he is not currently looking for exclusivity or long-term, and enjoys the dating process (as do I).
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #6  September 30,2010, 7:18pm
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I just had a guy pull this on me... But he added that he found me too irresistible/sexy, couldn't control himself around me and so, since he only wanted a casual dating thing (not ready for a steady relationship/no sex)... he didn't think he could/should see me anymore. *rolls eyes

I don't get casual dating. What's the point?
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #7  September 30,2010, 7:25pm
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dazedconfuzed wrote :
I just had a guy pull this on me... But he added that he found me too irresistible/sexy, couldn't control himself around me and so, since he only wanted a casual dating thing (not ready for a steady relationship/no sex)... he didn't think he could/should see me anymore. *rolls eyes

I don't get casual dating. What's the point?
To go out, listen to some music, stop by a favorite wine bar, stroll through the museum, catch a movie - you know, have fun? Treating every person you meet like 'the one' is a lot of responsbility. Casual dating is exploration and discovery without the 745 pound invivible wedding ring hanging over your head.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #8  September 30,2010, 7:41pm
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Casual dating means you can wear sweat pants.
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #9  September 30,2010, 7:43pm
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
To go out, listen to some music, stop by a favorite wine bar, stroll through the museum, catch a movie - you know, have fun? Treating every person you meet like 'the one' is a lot of responsbility. Casual dating is exploration and discovery without the 745 pound invivible wedding ring hanging over your head.

OK, I see your point... but then what is there to explore or discover if you don't want a relationship, and just want to play the field? (Sex or no sex.)

I'm not arguing, I just don't get it at or after a certain age. Maybe I am just too old-fashioned, or traditional... I know I left casual dating behind in my 20's when I was too young to care. (And the aforementioned gentleman was 46.)

(On a side-note - my online dating profile is pretty clear... I'm not interested in casual dating/sex/fwb... *shrugs)
Last edited by dazedconfuzed; September 30,2010 at 7:44pm. Reason: clarification
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #10  September 30,2010, 7:43pm
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annother wrote :
Casual dating means you can wear sweat pants.

5 STARS
 
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